BEGOTTEN: A DISTURBING ONLINE MUSIC MYSTERY PART III

Before we go forward today, make sure you’ve already checked out Part 1 and Part 2 of this story so you’re all caught up. With that being said, let’s begin the end, a conclusion to all the madness.

In 2017, a series of limited conversations between an unknown music producer and a record label owner would lead to the upload of six disturbing albums, each including their own unique set of tragic poems, blocks of confusing Chinese texts, mysterious music videos and paragraphs that recite the label owners experience with this unknown music producer, a producer with a worrisome story that seemed to get all the more real as time went by.

This notorious producer is known as b e g o t t e n 自杀, and as we’ve learned in Part 1 and Part 2, the first four releases from b e g o t t e n 自杀, and the mysterious events between them and the label owner who gave their releases a home, Dennis of Geometric Lullaby, are...pretty interesting…to put it lightly.

In a span of seven months, Dennis released the first four albums b e g o t t e n 自杀 sent to him on Geometric Lullaby. With each upload onto Bandcamp, Dennis would go into detail about his experiences and communications between himself and the unidentifiable producer at that time. I expect you’ve already checked out the first two parts of this series, so I don’t find it necessary to go over everything again, plus I know you want to get right to the big question: who is b e g o t t e n 自杀?

I’ve been along this journey with you as well as I’ve made sure to keep myself from reading the full story until I fully finished creating Parts 1 through 3. I thought doing so would be more of a genuine way to go about documenting the story of b e g o t t e n 自杀 over time, plus it would be more fun for me as well. It’s been giving me something to look forward to with each installment, so trust me...I am so beyond excited to finally crack this case and hopefully get to the bottom of it all as well.

The b e g o t t e n 自杀 Halloween Mixtape [October 14th, 2019 / GEO - SP10]

So before we get into the 5th and 6th albums, the two final releases from the b e g o t t e n 自杀 series and what ended up happening in the saga of events between b e g o t t e n 自杀 and Dennis, I think it would be really fun to talk about this thing: the b e g o t t e n 自杀 - (Halloween Mixtape)

Not only would it be fun to talk about, but it’s also pretty important. b e g o t t e n 自杀 , and the story of b e g o t t e n 自杀 , has become sort of legend in the Vaporwave scene...there is no doubt about that. With all of the mysterious uploads Bandcamp has for us waiting to discover, the b e g o t t e n 自杀 releases are easily some of the most interesting and darkest material to dive into and the b e g o t t e n 自杀 - (Halloween Mixtape) showcases the fascination not only from the fans, but from fellow artists and producers as well.

This thing is massive...20 tracks from some serious heavy hitters: Hantasi, 猫 シ Corp., MindSpring Memories, desert sand feels warm at night, just to name a small handful. And some of these tracks are hella long, MindSpring Memories remix of (invisible) - 无形 clocking in at over 10 minutes and 異星人’s remix of (love) - 真愛 hits the 12 minute mark.

What also makes this mixtape so much fun and such an incredible service to b e g o t t e n 自杀 is that each artist brings their own flair and signature sound to the table, but at the same time they still pay respects to that b e g o t t e n 自杀 mood. Signalwave legend S p o r t 3 0 0 0 and his jolting take on (longing) - 渴望 brings in an element of experimental and space-exploration-esque synth work, all while still laying it on top of that classic, ominous b e g o t t e n 自杀 drone. We even have the thunder from down under, A Future Funk titan: TUPPERWAVE is even on this thing, giving (aquamarine) - 蓝晶 a sort  lo-fi hip hop treatment. He keeps the entire track feeling like it’s submerged in this sink full of ice cold water, a well done little tune and gives a great take on the  b e g o t t e n 自杀 sound in just over a minutes worth of your time. And w i n t e r q u i l t 愛が止ま’s remix of (ghost) - 鬼白 ?! I ain’t even gonna say anything…I’ll just let you listen to that one for yourself.

Dennis also got in on the fun as well, providing mastering for a handful of the tracks on here. The mixtape dropped seven months after the final release in the b e g o t t e n 自杀 series (new aura) - 新时代 (which we will obviously get to in just a bit, get ya seatbelts on!) and this mixtape was the perfect treat for the Halloween season in October of 2019. The album dropped alongside that mouthwatering Ghoul and Ghost box set, a limited collector's edition release dropped by Geometric Lullaby that contains every b e g o t t e n 自杀 album, including the Halloween mixtape, and was such a delightful way to pay homage to the entirety of the b e g o t t e n 自杀 story.

But now, it’s finally time to return back to where we left off. Let’s rewind it back a year earlier: October of 2018. b e g o t t e n 自杀’s 4th album, (happy anniversary) - 周年快乐, had just made its way onto the Geometric Lullaby catalogue, and around this time, the relationship between b e g o t t e n 自杀 and Dennis almost seemed sort of finalized… but was it really though?

Before that 4th release, just to quickly recap, Dennis had finally received an email from b e g o t t e n 自杀 after such a long time of hearing nothing back from them at all. Dennis wondered if they were seeing the albums on Geometric Lullaby, the reception and how the albums quickly formed a cult following. Dennis had no feedback from b e g o t t e n 自杀, which was unfortunate to him because all he wanted to know was what they thought of the releases.

The email Dennis received at the time of the 4th upload was short and simple:

"Thank you. I am still alive. I am okay for now."

Short, simple, sweet, and just enough to crack a smile on Dennis’ face. Despite its seemingly conclusive nature, Dennis wanted to take a couple of weeks to figure out how he wanted to respond and how he wanted to say it. He promised those who visited the Bandcamp page for (happy anniversary) - 周年快乐 that he would keep them updated on the situation.

b e g o t t e n 自杀’s 5th album: (forgive and forget) - 原谅和忘记 [December 24th, 2018 / GEO - 025]

Forgive and forget stands out to me for many reasons. I would say that this is the most melodic and romantic sounding of the begotten series. It uses mostly a different language so the words themselves are impossible for me to understand, but the sound of the music does all of the work with this one. Somehow, Begotten still manages that eerie feeling, a pit in your stomach, just a seed of something...off as you listen to this record. 

Dennis of Geometric Lullaby

After b e g o t t e n 自杀 had thanked Dennis in his quick email, Dennis was very grateful to at least hear anything at all. After a couple of weeks, Dennis emailed b e g o t t e n 自杀 back and thanked them for the submission and their music. He explained that people were enjoying the releases and that they, b e g o t t e n 自杀, should be proud.

The email back would spring up a conversation. While Dennis was not given any details about this person's whereabouts or who they actually were, they began describing to him the intense mental illness that they lived with. Dennis notes on his Bandcamp that he actually holds a degree in psychology, so he understood plenty of what they explained.

But something (like most things involving this artist) seemed odd. As Dennis would receive more emails, he was starting to get a feeling that he was not actually speaking with b e g o t t e n 自杀 directly. It seemed as if he was messaging someone who spoke for them. A caretaker perhaps? They spoke as though they'd studied the human psyche in depth and really knew the deepest feelings of b e g o t t e n 自杀…but it just wasn't them.

All of this was happening after the 4th release obviously and before the 5th release was put out on Geometric Lullaby. Dennis was in Europe at the time with his band on tour through Germany, admitting he was a bit distracted at the time due to the shows. A bit of time would pass without Dennis answering b e g o t t e n 自杀 (due to lack of WIFI and general busy-ness) and when he figured out how he would ask if it was someone speaking on b e g o t t e n 自杀’s behalf... 

He received one of the most disturbing emails yet.

For the sake of discretion, I am leaving it up to you if you would like to see the text of that email. On the Bandcamp page for (forgive and forget) - 原谅和忘记, that email is there, just be advised it is pretty morbid.

Along with this email, however, there was also an attachment labeled "me"

It was a video.

Dennis has yet to figure out what the video means, who it is, or what is going on in it. He uploaded the video to YouTube as an unlisted link through his Bandcamp page. If you click the link there, you will be able to check it out.

Dennis wasn’t sure if what was attached was some staged, fake video. Was it taken from a movie or tv show or even another YouTube video? He asks that if anyone recognizes it, let him know. The sound is unrecognizable, as is the individual in the video.

With this latest, intense email from b e g o t t e n 自杀, Dennis was once again going to take some time to figure out his next move. As time had past since (happy anniversary) - 周年快乐, Dennis thought now would be a good time to release the next album in the lineup given to him from the original b e g o t t e n 自杀 email as he once again found himself in a situation of email chess.

Released on Christmas Eve, (forgive and forget) - 原谅和忘记 would be Geometric Lullaby’s last gift for 2018. The release would contain nine tracks that all begin with “un” (except the bonus track).

1. (unprepared) - 措手不及

2. (unraveling) - 解开

3. (understanding) - 理解

4. (unfortunate) - 不幸的 

5. (unending) - 无止境

6. (unconditional) - 无条件的

7. (undeserving) - 不值得

8. (unless...) - 除非…

9. (bonus track) - 同情

This is one of my favorite b e g o t t e n 自杀 releases, an extremely emotional blend of wonderful vocal sample selections melted with a heavy pouring of warm production on top. That smoky b e g o t t e n 自杀 texture is at an all time high on here, the reverb and fogginess that lays over track 3, (understanding) - 理解, is like hot fudge melting through sweet vanilla ice cream. Track number seven, (undeserving) - 不值得, features the pendulum of a beautifully tragic crying vocal loop on one side with a lonely and distant horn sample on the other. And in the middle? An ice cold blast of trap percussion, that heavy hitting hi hat frenzy is a brilliant surprise and provides some stellar contrast to the lost mood in the majority of the track.

I think “lost” is a good word to describe this album, it feels as if you’re in a virtual world of wireframe-filled hallways. Everything is black besides the thin purple lines that make up all of the wireframes. Track number five is a great example of this, (unending) - 无止境, that constant echo effect used on the claps and other instrumentals really feel as if this thing is large and, like the name of the track, never ending. 

Unlike most releases that b e g o t t e n 自杀 sent over in that original email, (forgive and forget) - 原谅和忘记 would only feature one music video instead of the usual two. This music video came with track six, (unconditional) - 无条件的. And, who would’ve guessed it, more skeletons. This time though, maybe the cruddiest quality footage yet, the barely visible and barely working video is more like a collection of photos instead of a smooth flowing video. We’re simply given a skeleton dancing around, breaking down and building itself back up, all before breaking down one last time before the video ends.

Here was the poem given with this release:

Can I recognize feelings?

Can I sense that they're there?

Has all gone to numbness?

In place of despair?

 

I can ask for forgiveness

But I know it will never come

I can wait until you forget

But there's no ridding of what's been done

A quote was also given along with the poem that read:

Tell me why...

As with all of the other albums, a series of Chinese text was also sent along with (forgive and forget) - 原谅和忘记.

The album’s sound is in pretty heavy contrast compared to the vibes of the track list, poems, Chinese texts, and messages at the time from b e g o t t e n 自杀 (or as Dennis believed, a person talking on their behalf). I kind of see the whole thing as putting on a face, while on the inside you can feel completely different. It’s something we’ve seen come up time and time again with cases of severe mental illness, a person seeming happy and friendly on the outside while something is eating away at them on the inside.

The album hides away it’s thoughts and feelings through sound. The music given to us from b e g o t t e n 自杀 is a mask.

b e g o t t e n 自杀’s final album: (new aura) - 新时代 [March 25th, 2019 / GEO - 030]

A void is all that's left

No sanity to be found

I've lost my mind in the process

I can't distinguish any sounds

 

When there's nothing to live for

And you truly are at your last

You hate yourself thoroughly

Solely dwell on the past

 

A new you starts emerging

Something different, something clean

Something desperate for anything

Other than a dream

 

But dreams are what I have

They beckon me with demand

Let's hope my dreams never come true

For if they do, you'll know exactly who I am."

This was the last and final poem sent to Dennis from b e g o t t e n 自杀, this of course coming along with the 6th album: (new aura) - 新时代.

I knew this time would come. I had been waiting for it ever since releasing the very first begotten cassette, and I must say, it is bittersweet. I am honored be have been chosen by this artist to present their work to the world. I am glad that so many have listened and enjoyed what they've created. While I know it is not for everyone, I personally find each album as something special. But you probably already know that by now.

Dennis of Geometric Lullaby

(new aura) - 新时代 may be the most experimental release of the saga, and it seems fitting as this chaotic journey only seemed to get more and more bizarre along the way. It’s as if the mask from the fifth album was ripped off and b e g o t t e n 自杀’s thoughts, feelings and emotions scattered into a thousand different directions, with no destination in sight.

The album pushes far the abstract and spacious sounds of darkness. (new aura) - 新时代 plays with texture even more than the others, tracks like (distill) - 蒸馏 are straight up broken. Take the echo effects of the track we mentioned in the previous album, (unending) - 无止境, and turn it up to a hundred. Everything is crumbling...instrumentals stepping on top of one another...a stampede of muddy sounds. However, towards the end, the only thing we are left with that is tangible is that eerie, unsettling howling that’s laid over the congested mess of sounds. We see the same thing with track number ten, (connectivity) - 连接, which all feels like a Missingno. Version of a Mallsoft track, but once again that horrifying vocal comes back in to remind us of b e g o t t e n 自杀’s world.

It’s kind of like the same thing that happened in The Caretaker’s Everywhere at the End of Time, the final album in that series being the most broken and decayed release yet. Also, both projects have six releases in them…Kind of interesting to note.

To Dennis, (new aura) - 新时代 gives him feelings of other-worldliness, caverns, alien-like vibes, and pure insanity. The album feels like an emotion we can’t fathom, only something that the set, specific person it’s coming from, would understand.

The album is one of the longer releases in the b e g o t t e n 自杀 catalogue, 14 tracks which clock in at just under a half an hour.

Here was the Chinese text that was provided by b e g o t t e n 自杀 for this release:

“如果没有不死技术，我将在未来35年内死亡，”他感叹。死亡是不可避免的 - 目前至少是因为随着年龄的增长，构成我们身体的细胞失去了自我修复的能力，使我们容易受到心血管疾病和其他与年龄相关的大约三分之二的病症的伤害。

“我的计划的最终目标是将某人的个性转变成一个全新的机构，”

“那么那么你可以说这样的人是有远见的，但不是生气，因为这意味着你想到的东西是不可能的，事实并非如此."

When translated, we find a detailed discussion on death, which leads into human transformation. It is also a bit confusing towards the end, which I’m sure is just Google Translate being Google Translate.

This time however, no music videos were given at all. When I saw that there was none for the first time, I was a bit surprised. With a handful of videos in previous album releases, I was pretty sure there would be at least one that may answer some questions or give some closure to everything we’ve been through with b e g o t t e n 自杀. But nope, just 14 tracks.

I think this was a good move though and kind of wraps up with the ending of the whole Dennis / b e g o t t e n 自杀 saga quite well…

Upon the release of (new aura) - 新时代, Dennis was saddened that this would be the final piece. He knew not whether the world would ever see another album from begotten, but he did not want to dwell on it being over. Dennis would’ve rather dwelled on the emotion and satisfaction that this music would provide.

If you remember when Dennis released the 4th album, he stated that he had actually received another email from b e g o t t e n 自杀 thanking him for doing their releases. At the time, he couldn't think of what he wanted to say in return, and Dennis admits on the Bandcamp page for (new aura) - 新时代 that he kind of just rushed a reply in the end asking who they were and some other personal questions. It wasn't until several weeks later after all of the emails that he received an answer to his questions. It read:

"Do you really want to know who I am?"

At first, Dennis was a little mad at this response:

Why would I ask if I wasn't sure that I wanted to know who they were? But when I opened a reply email and began to type, I stopped myself. Did I really want to know? Would I be able to appreciate the music all the same if I knew the name of the person behind it all? Would it change anything?

Dennis of Geometric Lullaby

Dennis would take a few days to consider this, he knew he did not want to rush it. Whoever b e g o t t e n 自杀 was, they had trusted him with their expression. They had trusted him with their art. Dennis recalls saying:

Would it be disrespectful to say that, yes, in fact, I really wanted to know who they were? These things weighed heavily on my mind and I started to feel anxious about the entire situation. I stopped eating. I started sleeping longer each day and I began to have vivid dreams. It was impossible to tell how connected (or not) that all of this was to b e g o t t e n 自杀.

Dennis of Geometric Lullaby

In the end, after countless hours of balancing options in his head like placing coins on the plates of a scale, Dennis had finally come to a decision. He opened up an email with confidence and hit reply. In the body of the email, he simply wrote:

"You are begotten and that is all that matters to me. Thank you for trusting me."

He hit send and smiled. He then played the entire discography from beginning to end, closing his eyes and allowing it all to take him away.

Dennis no longer checked his email, constantly refreshing in hopes of a message. He had finally found the closure he had been looking for. It was never about the person behind the music, but the feeling, emotion, and atmosphere. It was about the realms to which it brought him, allowing Dennis to escape his own life, if even for a moment. he could finally fully enjoy what he had been given.

Dennis was finally at peace.

The tale of b e g o t t e n 自杀, and Dennis’ experience with the producer, is a tale we all go through in this day and age with music. I know for myself and many others who are heavily involved in the Vaporwave scene and community, there is a lot of music we love and adore from people we simply do not know. As our scene in particular has gotten closer in these past couple of years, with live shows and online shows and what not, there was a time when everything was a bit more unknown. Artists’ and aliases being able to paint even more vivid imaginations in your head of who they were and what they were all about. It’s easy to fall in love with narratives given with albums, artwork that helps you get to that set place and time the album seems like it would be in. But beyond the stories, beyond the settings, the most important thing will always be the music, the sounds, which can always be experienced bare of any context.

Nothing crazy happened in the end between Dennis and b e g o t t e n 自杀, Dennis was given this package of digital albums and just did what he thought was best with them. He never was able to find out if everything was a hoax or if this person was who they seemed to be. And in the end, he had the option to potentially figure it all out, but to Dennis, the music just seemed to be more important. Plain and simple.

Today, b e g o t t e n 自杀 is still listened to by many throughout the internet, some claiming the mysterious producer to be their favorite Vaporwave artist of all time.

But, what about our question: is b e g o t t e n 自杀 real? Fake? Is Dennis b e g o t t e n 自杀?

You know what, I’ll let you do your own digging on that one. Sometimes a mystery is best kept a mystery, but as always, it’s always up to you, my friend.

Although I really do wonder…who was in that car in the graveyard?

If you haven’t listened to the b e g o t t e n 自杀 releases yet, I highly recommend doing so, the music is so rich with or without the pairing of the b e g o t t e n 自杀 story. Thank you for joining me on this wild ride, and until next time…

Much love,

ur boi,

Pad Chennington

Also known as "Youtube's Vaporwave Valedictorian", Pad Chennington is a content creator who has created a substantial following on YouTube for his videos discussing all things Vaporwave. Starting in the Fall of 2017, Pad's videos range from reviews to breakdowns, interviews to unboxings, and much more, always revolving around odd and interesting music genres found throughout the internet. Pad has also recently released an album in February titled "CONTRAST", available as a free download via the My Pet Flamingo label.

BEGOTTEN:
A Disturbing Online Music Mystery

WARNING: This article contains material not suitable for a younger audience. The following content and subject matter may be disturbing to some viewers.

I want to showcase everything that was sent to Dennis that day as best as I possibly could so the story of b e g o t t e n 自杀 can be shared as truthfully as possible.

Discretion is advised.

In 2017, an online music label known as Geometric Lullaby would create a thread on a forum in efforts to find new artists for their label. The label’s motto: A collection of songs about life and death.

They received a solid amount of responses but one response in particular stood out. What would happen next would not only change the label forever, but would introduce an entire online music scene to a series of six album releases shrouded in tragedy. All of this, paired with the chilling events we will learn about today, provides us with the ultimate case to solve… Just who is b e g o t t e n 自杀 ?

The story of b e g o t t e n 自杀 is absolutely massive and I believe it will be better to space the story out into multiple parts instead of having it all as one super long article. I plan on working on part two of this story as soon as I can so make sure you check on back here every once in a while.

So, our story today will focus on two people and the limited exchanges they’ve had: Dennis, the label owner of Geometric Lullaby, and obviously, the artist known as b e g o t t e n 自杀. As mentioned earlier, in 2017 Dennis would create a thread online in search of new artists for his label. A bizarre email from someone claiming to be from Azerbaijan, a small country just north of Iran, caught the eye of Dennis. The amount of material and what this email consisted of, was quite shocking.

Upon opening the email, Dennis noticed that the artist had already set up their own Bandcamp page with all of the covers and album names, each however, without any of the actual music.

The first reason this all caught the eye of Dennis was that he was sent six full albums, all at once, with each release set to go live on Halloween for every year going forward until 2022.

Aside from the music, the email also contained a series of music videos. These videos were eerie, haunting, dreamy, yet intoxicating and beautiful. Dennis says how the artist managed to make these videos so relaxing, all while at the same time putting him on edge, still baffles him to this very day.

And last, the text sent with the emails. What Dennis read from b e g o t t e n 自杀 was so bizarre, he just didn't know what to make of it. Each album had the title listed and track names (all of which included Chinese) and a block of Chinese text.

Dennis is still unable to understand the meaning of this text, or the reason for the Chinese language if they truly are from Azerbaijan. Some of it translates to almost a suicide note, while other parts sound like a story that they can't quite piece together.

Also included was a series of some of the most heart-wrenching poetry you could ever read paired with music. If you go to the artist's Bandcamp, you can read each of them right now, along with the album covers and titles. A lot of them are hard to read. They sound like someone who is in a dark place in their life. Dennis remembers all of this intriguing him without even hearing any of the albums yet.

Being hit with all of this at once, it was finally time for Dennis to download and listen to the music sent through the email. And, aside from the imagery, poetry, mysterious text and music videos, Dennis would soon discover a collection of albums unlike any other.

The music was dreamy and atmospheric, haunting yet relaxing, eerie but beautiful all at the same time. But most of all, it was extremely sad. Dennis found himself listening to every album, all six, from front to back twice as soon as he started them.

The multiple languages found in the samples selected tell a dark and depressive story, set against the backdrop of unbearable loneliness. Each release varies in mood from romantic inspired Vaporwave flips to darker trap beats and everything else in between. You’ll find sample work ranging from crystal clear and sharp as a knife to cloudy and incomprehensible, a smokescreen that suffocates us from the sound alone. Added chords and production techniques all evolve the original samples in such a riveting way with the emotional and worrisome narrative enriched into these songs

Dennis knew he had to be the one to release these albums.

After attempting to contact the artist back for over three months, Dennis would finally get a reply. It simply read: “Please release. Send me address.” Dennis immediately compiled everything he needed and sent the first album off for dubbing. Obviously, there was some doubt in all of this. Just who is this person? Why are they sitting on six albums of material as well as music videos to go along with them? Are they really from Azerbaijan? Dennis wondered if he should be worried about what was being said in the text from these releases, should he try and get this person help? Or, is this all a hoax or a prank? Or, is it simply someone trying to create just another creepy music alias on Bandcamp?

“Are these albums an intricate call for help? I just sincerely hope that this person is okay. They have created something unique and have a perspective on things that I can really connect with. I feel selfish, but I want more albums and expression from this individual. I hope you all enjoy it as much as I.”

Dennis, Owner of Geometric Lullaby

Dennis’ doubts about the location of b e g o t t e n 自杀 would eventually lessen when a mysterious package arrived in his mailbox, addressed from, where else, but Azerbaijan. The box contained only 25 copies of a J-card for cassettes of the first album known as “(life cycle) - 生命週期”, each with the word “Death” scribbled on front (for those who do not know, a J-card is the artwork insert placed in cassette cases).

Shortly after this is when we would see these albums begin to gradually emerge online, with the first one released on the label’s Bandcamp page on March 12th, 2018. I want to explore each release with you, going in order from when they were released on Geometric Lullaby and what was going on at that time in the saga of events between Dennis and b e g o t t e n 自杀.

Let us begin.

b e g o t t e n 自杀’s 1st album: (life cycle) - 生命週期 [March 12, 2018 / GEO - 005]

(life cycle) - 生命週期 would be the first b e g o t t e n 自杀 album that would see the dark of night on the internet. Music videos were also included in the original email from b e g o t t e n 自杀 for the album's title track (longing) - 渴望 and for the album’s 4th track (life) - 生活. These music videos, which contain nothing but low quality shots of skeletons, were the first of many to emerge on Geometric Lullaby from the series of footage sent over from b e g o t t e n 自杀 in the original email.

Every b e g o t t e n 自杀 music video gives off this vibe of decayed VHS, this sort of “Candle Cove” aura for those who remember when that whole thing was a craze on the internet.

(life cycle) - 生命週期 would consist of ten tracks, a very exciting and animated vaportrap release right out the gates for b e g o t t e n 自杀, all while still being hazy and lethargic with it’s wonderful use of textures and uncanny sound effects like the cry of the penguin you race in Super Mario 64 that is missing it’s baby. Manipulating R&B tracks and moody hip hop selections that fizzle out into these weird outer body climaxes are simply stunning and Dennis choosing this as the first b e g o t t e n 自杀 release to put on the label, besides the fact that this was the first release in the chronological timeline provided by b e g o t t e n 自杀, was the perfect move.  (life cycle) - 生命週期 is the ultimate entrance into the labyrinth of b e g o t t e n 自杀’s mind.

As mentioned earlier, each release was accompanied by text and poetry. Here is what was given from that email sent to Dennis for this first album:

"If love is a gift then I am luckier than most

I am showered with more than anyone could hope

Only I cannot accept them with open arms or a smile

I push everyone away from me, neverending denial

It hurts to exist

It is painful to live

My wrists show the struggle of my emptiness

Just once I want to express myself right

To be honest to those who deserve so and cry

To bleed my own blood not for me, not my life

But someone who needs it, just once before I die

No more lies...

And when I'm gone from this life, I'll look down in surpise

The world keeps on turning, not a cloud in the sky

Without me it's better and less filled with hate

Because now I am gone, buried deep in a grave.

Lay me down and close my eyes. Send me off into the night."

b e g o t t e n 自杀

Here was the Chinese text also sent to Dennis with the album. Translate these at your own discretion as some of these texts can get pretty heavy:

我真的很想去杀我自己，因为没有人需要我在这里，没有人要我在这里，没人在乎，我没有在线离线的朋友，我不爱我的家人，没有任何人理解我，我是一个失败，只是浪费钱/食物，更多我可以列出

 

所以我在这个旅行的合唱团，但是是夏天，但有像冬天般的天气。旅游地点有点糟糕，因为我曾经住过（约3000人，充满吸毒者）。我记得走到温迪的一个场所（没有我住过的地方），但这个标志就像“老兵酒吧”那样庆祝老将。我走进去，我没有钱，也没有我的朋友，但是一位老太太说：“哦，我不在乎，你还会在这么美好的一天去冰淇淋。”然后我被我的合唱团中的男中音拉开，我完全迷失在感觉像一个梦幻般的颜色和建筑物的模糊。

 

我所说的是冬季天气的原因是因为在上一部分末尾的幽灵段下雨，我用身体遮挡我的东西在雨中不被弄湿。即使这次旅行持续了几个小时，我想（不记得有关旅行的细节，也没有看到我的老师或任何同学以外的男高音和男中音）。我终于得到了不公平的，在一条我很熟悉的街道上。我头脑里有一个想法：我要去这个城里的朋友家去拜访，这是我去过他们家的唯一的朋友，和他一起睡觉。所以当我到了他的房子（我像火影忍者那样跑了30分钟，而不是坐公共汽车），到了他的房子，他是真的不同。有意义的是，我想：“在3.5年的时间里，我们分开了，我发现了一种幽默幽默感，他有一种脚痛，痴迷于水獭”

 

但等等还有更多

 

我进了他的房子，他没有像上次那样的狗，但他比以前有5个兄弟姐妹。我记得的是，我问他的父母在哪里，他的父亲说“哦，Skyler发现如何把自己变成水獭，所以他在浴室里有一些”私人时间“，这对他来说非常伤心”，而我可以听到非常非常大声的浴室呻吟声。我在汗水中醒来，低声想死

Each of these albums, when sent to Dennis, would be tagged as “hushwave” on Bandcamp, as well as the title of the second album released from b e g o t t e n 自杀. Dennis isn’t sure if this is the genre they came up with for their sound, but to him, it fits perfectly.

(life cycle) - 生命週期 would be released on a limited edition ruby red cassette with the first 25 orders containing that j-card “signed” by the artist. Side note: all of the b e g o t t e n 自杀 releases would eventually be re-released by Geometric Lullaby in a beautiful box-set collection on October 14th 2019. There were two variants of this box set, the Ghoul edition and the Ghost edition. These were released to the public with an unknown amount and, as expected, sold out ridiculously quickly due to b e g o t t e n 自杀’s status in the community and their beloved work.

b e g o t t e n 自杀’s 2nd album: (hushwave) - 治愈它 [June 11, 2018 / GEO - 010]

“This release was a little unsettling to me at first. It takes a different direction than the first album, in that, it achieves being both more haunting and creepy, while at the same time being more beautiful and relaxing. It seems that this release uses all female vocal samples, which adds to the airy and ghost-like soundscapes it creates. The songs conjure a thick fog of atmosphere and uncertainty, vaporous in its release, like the depiction on the cover.

I believe this album is a perfect culmination of what the artist was trying to get across with their tag "hushwave" that I have never heard before.”

Dennis, Owner of Geometric Lullaby

Up until this release, Dennis attempted countless times to contact b e g o t t e n 自杀 by email, even at the cost of spamming the original email address from which the albums were sent. Besides the initial email, the email asking for Dennis’ address, and the package that was sent from Azerbaijan, Dennis had yet to receive any sort of contact or response from b e g o t t e n 自杀. He began to believe all hope was lost in ever contacting this person again. That was, until, Dennis got a letter in the mail just three weeks before the release of b e g o t t e n 自杀’s 2nd album on the label.

The envelope was a beige color with the address, both sending and return, printed from what seemed to be a typewriter. Dennis had no idea who it was from, as the sender's name was typed as "B. D. W." and the address was from somewhere in the middle of Georgia (the state, not the country). The address seemed to have some significance but more on this in a bit.

Woozy and distant, the tones explored in b e g o t t e n 自杀’s second album (hushwave) - 治愈它 are enchanting on a whole 'nother level. Most of the tracks on here are just echoed vocals paired with some stretched out synths or reverb flooded piano keys. (hushwave) - 治愈它 is b e g o t t e n 自杀’s most minimalistic album in the series with the most animated track being all the way at the end of the album. The ending of that track, titled (hidden) - 隐藏,  shifts the mood into this almost silly, Halloween-like jingle that feels a bit uneasy due to the ironically innocent sounding “spookiness” it has.

Here was the poem that came with this album:

"A step too far and I find my way

Falling to my knees because the emptiness remains

The lights are so bright, I must close my eyes

I indulge once more as tears fall and she cries

Life is a burden I cannot bear

The barrel of a gun, a blank-eyed stare

Razor blade on the mantle, a cup full of pills

I tried everything once but nothing fulfills

Scars on my arms, self-mutilation, perhaps

I could get out of bed now, but rather take another nap

Scared to death of death itself and nowhere to turn

I hope I find solace before it's too late to learn."

b e g o t t e n 自杀

The album would also come with two music videos in the original email, one for the song (insomnia) - 失眠 and one for the song (ghost) - 鬼白 

The music videos feature these weird masked figures flailing and dancing around, every couple of seconds staring off and seeming to almost lose control of their bodies.

For fans of relaxing Vaporwave or Slushwave, this release is perfect for you. A big chunk of the b e g o t t e n 自杀 tracks we’ve gotten over the years feel so sensual at times, and this album is one of the best examples. It’s weird, if you didn’t know the backstory of these albums and what went into all of this, some of these releases would probably be super laidback and relaxing. Problem is, once you know, you know and you can’t avoid the horrific energy surrounding the b e g o t t e n 自杀 releases.

Here was the Chinese text provided for this release, when translated, seems to make no sense at all in relation to the album, track titles, artwork or anything:

这是通过应用物理和气象学原理来预测天气。天气预报预测了由大气条件（雪和冰覆盖，暴风雨，洪水等）引起的地球表面的大气现象和变化。科学天气预报依赖于经验和统计技术，如温度，湿度，大气压力，风速和方向以及降水的测量，以及计算机控制的数学模型。

So... back to the envelope.

After Dennis picked up the strange letter he went back into his apartment and opened it, curious, but thinking nothing of it at the time. What ended up being inside sent shivers down his spine; another envelope. This one was badly damaged. The addresses were written in red ink... and the return address?

Baku, Azerbaijan.

Dennis recalls nearly dropping the envelope. He cut it open carefully, his hands were shaking. Inside, there was a single card, thicker than paper. It read "You're Invited," in big cursive letters. Below, there looked to be a fingerprint in red ink, or possibly blood. An address was given, again, in Georgia. At the bottom, scribbled hastily was the word begotten.

And that was it. No date or details on what he was being invited to.

Dennis pulled up Google on his computer and looked up the first address from the outer envelope. That was when he got a little scared. The address was a state mental institution in Georgia. The building looked old and worn down, but according to Google, it was still active. His breathing shortened and he had to pinch himself wondering if he was in some sort of horror movie.

Next, Dennis looked up the address from the "You're Invited" card and nothing came up at all. He searched for a while to no avail and decided to download Google Earth. He pulled up the exact address and zoomed in to find a small graveyard with several mausoleums in central Georgia. He looked back at the card and decided that it was definitely blood leaving the fingerprint, not red ink.

At this point, Dennis took a moment to stop and absorb everything that was happening. He came up with four conclusions on what could possibly be going on with whoever this b e g o t t e n 自杀 person is:

1. Someone was pranking him from the start and this whole thing was just one big hoax.
2. Someone just started pranking him after the first release. They saw the first story and were now trying to feed off of the mystery.
3. b e g o t t e n 自杀 is actually someone living in Georgia, possibly in the mental institution. They used the Azerbaijan address as a decoy.
4. b e g o t t e n 自杀 is actually in Azerbaijan and is, for some reason, using this person in Georgia as a middleman. They sent them the original letter, which was then forwarded to Dennis in another envelope.

Dennis’ mind was flooded with questions: should they have the blood tested for DNA? Should he go to either of the addresses in Georgia? Or possibly try and find someone to go there for him since he lived in a completely different state?

Whatever his next move was, he knew that he needed to continue the release of these albums. Next up would be b e g o t t e n 自杀’s third album, the one many consider to be the darkest of them all.

----------

As mentioned earlier, I believe it will be better to space these articles out instead of having the story all put out as one super long read. That being said, I think this is a good place to stop before we open up a whole new can of worms with the third album.

We’ll talk again soon.

Until we meet again for our next deep dive into fascinating music…

Much love,

Ur boi,

Pad Chennington

Also known as "Youtube's Vaporwave Valedictorian", Pad Chennington is a content creator who has created a substantial following on YouTube for his videos discussing all things Vaporwave. Starting in the Fall of 2017, Pad's videos range from reviews to breakdowns, interviews to unboxings, and much more, always revolving around odd and interesting music genres found throughout the internet. Pad has also recently released an album in February titled "CONTRAST", available as a free download via the My Pet Flamingo label.

VAPOR95 LIVE 4.0 REPLAY

IN CASE ANYONE MISSED THE FOURTH VAPOR95 LIVE STREAM...

We've uploaded September's full show for you here:

It was a privilege to bring thirteen artists together for a visual and auditory spectacle and to share that with our fans and friends was an honor. Thank you to everyone who joined us to talk and vibe with the artists, fellow fans, and supporters!

Special thanks to ΛDRIΛNWΛVE, CVLTVRE, Neon Vectors, Limousine, Pad Chennington, Future Girlfriend Music, Vaperror, Macross 82-99, Flamingosis, Android Apartment, Lola Disco, kissmenerdygirl, and Tupperwave and the Vapor95 friends and family! Follow, explore, and support these musicians if you had a good time at Vapor95 Live 4.0!

We're excited to do more of these shows so stay tuned for upcoming digital concerts by following the DARKNET Recordings Instagram, the Vapor95 Instagram, or our Facebook. You can also sign up for our mailing list on the bottom of our store's homepage.

The Internet's Darkest Music Genre

Hidden deep within the virtual backrooms of the Internet exists a sound so forgotten, barren and bizarre...it’s a sound you can’t turn away from once you click the play button...a music scene left abandoned to time and the ever-expanding musical library of the digital realm.

Uncanny artwork, hyper-sensitive textures and a narrative that always ends the same way for every release: the pure decay and death of the music. Today, you and I will be exploring one of the most lonesome, dark, and mysterious music genres on the Internet, known as “Deathdream”, and what makes this extremely small collection of albums so suspiciously sinister. We will be taking a look at a handful of releases, explore some commentary from actual Deathdream producers, and ultimately, you and I will discover what makes this microgenre contain such immense power in its ability to revolutionize the concept of disposability in music, an ability that leaves us, the listener, in a state of pure audio and sensory purgatory.

Deathdream is a Bandcamp tag given to a small collection of albums that explore themes of isolation, depression, desperation, and other similar subject matters. As of the making of this video, only 75 releases pop up when searching for the “Deathdream” tag on Bandcamp. It’s a very niche style that clearly hit its prime between 2015 to 2016, and although you’ll find some more recent releases scattered here and there, the style is now trickling and rotting away to time. Stumbling upon Deathdream feels like you’ve discovered an abandoned city or ghost town, you’ve run out of gas and you pulled off the main highway only to enter a town vacant of all life.

Click on any of these releases and you’re entering a vacant house or storefront in this abandoned town, tracklists resembling the objects and outdated decor within that may paint some sort of picture as to what happened here. Using tools ranging from heavy drone work, repetitive, looping sabotage and just the straight-up eerie bending and twisting of samples and instrumentation, producers, or as i like to call them, practitioners of the Deathdream sound are determined to tell a story more than anything else. These constant barrages of the same sound chopped repetitively (perfect examples of this being Geolocationism and reflection) bring you into an almost trance-like state, hammering in that sort of hopeless, apocalyptic or post-apocalyptic setting the narrative brings to life so well. Instead of Deathdream being music, the releases feel more like expeditions varying in different intensities. Whether it’s dystopian armies roaming the streets to settings even more deserted, like ghost towns where all that is left is the struggling nature trying to find its way in a place void of hope and life.

Deathdream takes traces of Ambient, Dark Vaporwave, Broken Transmission, and Eccojams and distills the sound with a focus on death, anxiety, and decay. The world of Deathdream opens the door for incredible creative expression and rebirth in artists looking to try something new and explore the darker parts of storytelling. There is something inherently refreshing in creating a new alias to create a sound different from your usual work; Deathdream becomes a home for producers looking to become more anecdotal with their work in a disposable, no strings attached way.

"Deathdream is not about the sound, it's about the aesthetics surrounding the music. Not just the album covers, or the track titles or whatever, but the narrative inherent with every Deathdream album. Deathdream albums have stories attached to them. Sometimes the story is obvious and sometimes it’s a complete mystery, but Deathdream needs a narrative of some sort in order for it to work well.

If you’re someone who wants to make Deathdream, make a new anonymous alias. Don’t worry about publicity, there is someone out there that will notice it. And just try to make something you haven’t made before. Most Deathdream that exists is something someone made on the side, it can be a great way to filter creative energy."

- 暗い自然 (Dark Nature)

Deathdream producer & owner of Black Records 

There are two main labels on the Internet that house a heavy amount of these releases: BLCR Laboratories and Black Records. I highly recommend venturing through each of their respective catalogues, the two are truly a goldmine and will definitely provide you with the material you are looking for.

I want to focus our time today on a couple of Deathdream releases specifically, projects that caught my attention immensely and I just find them to be a perfect demonstration of how intense storytelling elements can be through fascinating presentation and production. Use these albums as undedicated, drowned out background noise late at night. On the other hand, you can allow yourself to be completely taken over by them. I recommend taking the time to lay down in bed, close your eyes, relax your muscles, and have the music absorb you into its world with your undivided attention.

I. 아버지 (father) - reflection

First up on our list today, I want to showcase the brilliance of 아버지’s (father) 2016 release titled “reflection”. This eight track gem explores themes of self-reflection, loneliness, rejection, depression, rebirth and it all concludes with the unfortunate fate of the inevitable crash at the end. When you look at how the track list is ordered or when you listen to each song in succession, you feel like you have suddenly transported into the body of someone going through a pretty tough sort of struggle.

The opening ten-and-a-half-minute track reflection is just mesmerizing: crushing, nonstop repetitive loops that just consume your mind, everything bringing to the forefront these memories you can’t stop thinking about, flashing in your head over and over...and over again. Tracks like “waking up the same”, “someone else”, and “loosing everything” all follow up with this rained on and weathered sample work struggling to make it through each measure, these brittle songs begging for your attention as they crawl out of your headphones.

아버지 (father) makes excellent work on taking sounds that feel depressing, beaten, and hopeless and makes you want to listen to them. Like I said, the narratives of these Deathdream releases feel very cinematic and heavy and you want to look in and examine what the music is going through.

There is always an unavoidable curiosity to it all.

Once we pass the halfway point of the album however, “reflection” becomes enticingly hopeful and less gloomy, especially when we get to the longest, and in my opinion, best track on the album: “tomorrow”. This eleven minute epic sticks out tremendously from the rest of the sorrowful sounding work on the album; these beautiful angelic voices breaking through with warm rays of sun behind them crashing into your ears.

Unfortunately, the refreshing joy of this track ends after this. The last track “untitled” seals away the angelic voices and the sun and returns with these jarring repetitive loops, it feels like the previous track crumbling and burning to the ground, proving it to all to be an illusion as we end the album with this hard stop that goes right back into the first track of the album. This move makes the album feel like a looping cycle and further nails in the notion that whatever this person is going through, this subject you create in your head as you listen to the album, it is all just this never ending cycle of sadness, a possibility for light shining through, and then it just divebombs back into despair and hopelessness. Sounds miserable, I know. But trust me, definitely start with this release. “Reflection” is an incredible journey through hypnotic sound design that feels like an artistic film rather than an album.

II. 아버지 (father) - 흰색 죽음 (White Death)

This is a beautiful piece of work.

One year before “reflection” was released, father dropped “흰색 죽음” (White Death). While “reflection” was a bit more jumpy, I would say, with its repetitive chops and, at times, colorful sounds scattered throughout, “흰색 죽음” (White Death) is way more parasitic and sinister. The whole album feels like you’re walking through this pitch-black hallway, a hallway so dark that even though there isn’t any light, the surface of a white object could eventually become visualized after your eyes adjust to the dark. As you're venturing through the hallway, slowly realizing that there may be no end to this, you begin to sense the entity that is hovering behind you.

The album is very quiet. There are these ambient passages moving at a snail’s pace only interrupted by haunting echoes, a ticking clock, static fuzz or confusing piano keys with no rhyme or rhythm, every moment floats in limbo. “흰색 죽음” (White Death) almost feels like the work of The Caretaker, especially toward the last stages of “Everywhere at the End of Time”. Audio on “흰색 죽음” (White Death) barely makes it through and crackles similarly to “Everywhere at the End of Time”. There is a moment where it sounds like someone is hitting the same two keys of a piano but the audio keeps cutting in and out, your headphones will feel like they are broken and this feature common throughout the project all adds to the unsettling aura this release gives off.

The last track of the album, which simply translates to death, is the moment where this entity finally begins to interact with you on a conversational level. All the textures overlaid on top of the tracks that came before you finally dissipates. The piano keys become crystal clear, your mind is as pure and empty as it can possibly be. You speak with death itself as it guides you through your last moments of whatever control you have left, only for it all to abruptly end as you're just beginning to learn the true meaning of the album. I dare you to listen to all of White Death laying down with your eyes closed and noise canceling headphones on. Enjoy the trip.

III. The various releases of 暗い自然 (Dark Nature)

Albums: Bleed | Soul Drainage | The Dark Forest 最も暗い夜 | The Sounds of Life

If you search for Deathdream on Bandcamp, you’re going to notice this name pop up a lot. 暗い自然 (Dark Nature) captures the ominous energy of being lost in nature or abandoned places. Harsh winds and distant remnants of a town that once was in the 29 minute long release of “Soul Drainage”, The hyper heightened sounds of birds and bugs with the “Sounds of Life”, the most brutally cold day of your life with “Bleed”, or the hidden beauty of a dark forest as night turns to morning on a cloudy, cold, and rainy November day…2015’s “The Dark Forest 最も暗い夜”.

暗い自然 (Dark Nature) does a stellar job at recognizing the disposability in music, the idea that anything you do or anything that has been done before can be sampled, recontextualized, and repurposed as something new. Nothing is ever untouchable, unmalleable, off-limits. Nothing can live or last forever. I was able to get in contact with 暗い自然 (Dark Nature), who had some interesting things to say about the concept of music as a whole:

“I think that music is disposable... Vaporwave kind of made me realize this, sampling stuff I would never have heard of otherwise. For an example, I’m pretty sure more people have heard リサフランク420 - 現代のコンピュー rather than the original Diana Ross song.

 

Vaporwave was definitely not the first musical genre that sampled music, that’s literally been done since music was invented. But I feel vaporwave was the first genre that sampled music in a completely decontextualized way. Using samples without caring where they came from, just taking old music and distorting it, until it sounded nostalgic or depressing or whatever the artist was doing with it. Recontextualizing it without even knowing what the original artist wanted to express with their music.

 

That’s only really possible when you think of music as disposable, and I think Deathdream really captures that. Not necessarily because it samples stuff, not all Deathdream does, but because it uses the disposability to decay itself out. Entire Deathdream albums and aliases have all been essentially deleted and forgotten, with very few people even remembering what it was... with each passing year, more and more people forget. I know of this first hand.

 

I think it’s special when there are entire albums that can only be recalled via your memory. When the only thing preventing this art from fading away forever is you staying alive. Having a relationship like that with music is super special. Deathdream should be able to die, is what I guess I am saying.”

- 暗い自然

Deathdream producer & owner of Black Records

Accompanied with the cheap aesthetic of VHS-weathered artwork, 暗い自然 (Dark Nature) captures a wide range of moods, there are releases that feel hazy, longing and tranquil while others are just straight up sporadic. 暗い自然 (Dark Nature), or the person behind the alias, is also the owner of Black Records, a label I highly recommend you check out for more Deathdream material and it was great getting their insight on the integrity of Deathdream, it all goes beyond just the charm of something feeling cheap, brittle and repurposed… the gradual decay of the music brings to life a whole other avenue of narrative to any project. 暗い自然 (Dark Nature) believes this is where the “death” in Deathdream comes from, the fact that the ending is always planned. Deathdream should be built around the idea of the impending end of the art, a story with a beginning, middle, and conclusion.

"Deathdream is not about the sound, it’s about the aesthetics surrounding the music. Not just the album covers, or the track titles or whatever, but the narrative inherent with every Deathdream album. Deathdream albums have stories attached to them. Sometimes the story is obvious and sometimes it’s a complete mystery, but Deathdream needs a narrative of some sort in order for it to work well."

- 暗い自然

Deathdream producer & owner of Black Records

IV. 死亡頻道 (Death Channel) - 超越灵魂 (Beyond Soul)

In March of 2019, a producer by the name of 死亡頻道 (Death Channel) would release a project called “超越灵魂” (Beyond Soul). 超越灵魂 (Beyond Soul), from everything I’ve heard up until making this video, may be my favorite Deathdream project yet.

Compared to his other aliases which both translate to Dream Channel (夢のチャンネル & 夢想的頻道), the birth of the third alias 死亡頻道 (Death Channel) would focus more on the practice of making darker sounds all while telling a story at the same time.

On “超越灵魂” (Beyond Soul), 死亡頻道 (Death Channel) tried to imagine a story in which a sad and lonely man was left adrift in his own home due to an accident and what would happen as the situation goes from bad to worse. As you listen to the album, the sound changes a bit, but the essence of sadness and darkness remains. The first two songs are crisp, crystal clear and sort of peaceful. By the end of that second song. we clearly hear that our character dies. It is at this moment where the album truly begins, where it’s real depth comes into play, as from the third song on we accompany this character on their journey into the realization that they have passed away and that they were abandoned during their time of need.

The artwork for this release works perfectly, the overlaying images conjuring up a dazed and confused feeling of awakening in a hospital late at night after everyone has left, confused on how you got here in the first place. Medical instrumentation on the side of your stretcher, a long corridor through which you wander while thinking that you are fine, and your soul being the lonely trooper to go through it all.

"Undoubtedly, the sounds you mention always tell a story, or try to make your imagination fly about what you hear and how you can interpret it. 超越 灵魂 (Death Channel) was also like that and what I can recommend for anyone who wants to achieve something of that style, they should simply think about something in their life, in some passage or memory or anecdote, in any situation, and try to figure it out and portray it In music."

- 超越灵魂

Death Channel

When reaching out to 死亡頻道 (Death Channel) regarding any commentary or interesting information regarding the release of “超越灵魂” (Beyond Soul), they told me the inspiration for the project comes mostly from video game soundtrack elements, like Silent Hill and Alice: Madness Returns. That, combined with vaporwave techniques with projects like メディカル= (Medical) and 아버지 (father) led to the creation of 死亡頻道 (Death Channel).

“超越灵魂” (Beyond Soul) is born with sounds and interpretation from some parts of the producers own personal life as well.

"I have been hospitalized 4 times in my life and most of it between 2010 and 2014 I spent in the doctor and hospital accompanying my grandmother until her death (RIP). All those moments of my life, those feelings, being there and living it, was what gave the sound of 超越灵魂 (Death Channel)."

- 超越灵魂

Death Channel

Deathdream is an abandoned goldmine of music, a collection of releases forgotten to time and left to rot away in the furthest corners of Bandcamp. But as we’ve learned today, that may be the ultimate plan of it all anyway. If you are someone who is interested in making Deathdream, 暗い自然 (Dark Nature) notes that you should make a new anonymous alias. Do not worry or stress about publicity, there is someone out there who will notice you. Most importantly, just try to make something you haven’t made before. Dive into the deepest parts of your mind. Most Deathdream that exists is something someone made on the side as a great way to filter creative energy.

So...what will you create, my friend?

Until next time, much love, ur boi,

Pad Chennington

Also known as "Youtube's Vaporwave Valedictorian", Pad Chennington is a content creator who has created a substantial following on YouTube for his videos discussing all things Vaporwave. Starting in the Fall of 2017, Pad's videos range from reviews to breakdowns, interviews to unboxings, and much more, always revolving around odd and interesting music genres found throughout the internet. Pad has also recently released an album in February titled "CONTRAST", available as a free download via the My Pet Flamingo label.

ARTIST SPOTLIGHT: NITEPUNK

We're super excited to feature you on our blog, Darknet, and share who you are to our readers. Can you tell them a little bit about yourself, both as an employee and music producer?

Hi! I'm Lasha from Brooklyn, originally from Republic of Georgia. Art and creativity have always been the driving forces in my life, so I let them guide my life. That's how I ended up becoming a music producer and employee for Vapor95 and DARKNET Recordings.

I moved to the states from Georgia in 2015 with the plan that I'd make music and art for living, although I was always driven towards the culture here and always wanted to be surrounded by like-minded people from all around the world. I thought New York would be the perfect place for that.

When did you start your music journey? Can you tell us more about the process of becoming a musician?

My first contact with music started in early childhood when I was probably three or four years old. My main musical sources were my mom and dad, separately showing me their favorite music. Growing up, I remember I'd dive deeper into those artists or their albums to find more and explore that world myself. Music was always a very vivid and clear imaginary world for me where I'd always want to hang out.

Despite my strong love of music and dance, I never thought of becoming a musician. I always had music in my head, always improvising, singing different voices over my favorite songs, etc. but being in a studio, surrounded by instruments, guitars, keys was always so far from how I saw myself. Computer and music-making software completely changed that for me. It was a quick and fun way to explore a completely free-form world of music, sounds, creativity and I got hooked right away. I started to take it seriously when I was 15 and making music, experimenting and exploring my artistry and creativity has been as much fun as when I was just starting out.

How did you start working for Vapor95?

I was backstage at Knitting Factory in Brooklyn, just hanging out with friends and artists. At one point, I was standing next to this cool and uniquely styled guy and next thing I remember, our mutual friend came up to us and said "you guys are gonna be best friends" and here we are today. Best friends, me and River (CEO of Vapor95). We got into crazy hyper-dimensional conversations about everything, including music of course.

It was so impressive for me how welcome, kind, and motivating he was to me. My life really changed after becoming friends with him. After a couple of hangouts, he asked me if I would help him with his music EP. I was instantly down to help out. I was working at a restaurant at that time, so couldn't dedicate as much time as I would have liked to. So, he offered me a job at Vapor95. Started as his assistant, helping out with everything, and then we directed my skills towards launching DARKNET Recordings, expanding it as a Vapor95 Media Platform!

What do you do at Vapor95? How do you juggle your music career and Vapor95 work?

I'm mainly an A&R and manager for DARKNET Recordings but I do small back-end tasks for Vapor95 as well. With DARKNET, I make sure the label is running smoothly. I reach out to artists about their music and needs, distribute their music to platforms, curate playlists, make mixes, and work on the creative direction of everything.

Could you tell us a little more about what you're working on? Vapor95 and music stuff.

At the moment at Vapor95, we have a couple EPs in the early stages of shaping up. About my music, I just got signed where one of my biggest inspirations is signed as well and we're planning each step carefully.

I have a track coming out on a compilation of one of the biggest names in bass music which is kinda crazy. He was the very first guy I heard Dubstep from. I'm so excited to start releasing all original music with the label starting in September or October!

Where do you draw your inspirations from? Can you guide us through the process of making a track, from start to finish?

I feel like everything is becoming more and more inspirational to me, starting from music to life experiences, feelings, memories, sometimes pre-passing out moments too. Dreams, too. Making a track is such a trip! I realize when I'm in composition mode, I almost don't remember making them after. I completely zone out and get lost in the crazy alchemy process.

I sometimes start with drums, grooves, or simply sound designing and melodies. It's always different depending on the mood. Sometimes it's just a quick idea and will turn into a song after weeks, days, or even years. Sometimes the idea is so strong, you just stick with it and finish it in a couple days. When the flow is there, everything becomes so easy.

What's your goal with music? Where do you see yourself in five years?

My goal with music is to be able to travel around the world, play music, get to know people, and gain all the crazy experiences with them.

There's something so crazy and magical about sharing music with the people as one collective consciousness, so I want to do that with shows and high energy performances around the world. I really want to be doing that in the next five years. I don't know when/if I'll ever be tired of it. I definitely wanna try myself in clothing design, movie/games scoring, and hi-tech visual art! These are my dreams.

If you weren't a musician, what would you do for a living?

I'd still make music.

But for a fair answer, I'd maybe be a dancer or a visual artist! Or maybe, I'd do curling at the winter Olympics.

What is your absolute favorite music to put on and work to?

Liquid Drum & Bass, Lo-Fi hip hop, Vaportrap, old school UK Garage.

If you were to make a playlist for an end of summer party what would be on it?

"Love Me More" by Chase & Status

You’ve made huge strides in your music career over the past few years, what advice do you have for someone who is trying to break into the industry?

I've come to realize that the more you think of "making it", the more it holds you back. You always have to be loud about what you create. I think the art that isn't shared, doesn't really exist. But what I mean is, don't wait for anyone's approval, whether that's the labels, channels, whatever. Keep making music/art for the sake of fun and creativity.

Have fun with all the aspects of releasing it and sharing it with people. Do it in your own way, in your own style. Always keep improving it. Always keep learning. When it's the right time, the right people will show up to genuinely help you take your vision to the next level.

What is the origin story of the name Nitepunk?

It just kinda flew to me itself. I was always an explorer rebel kid so the word "punk" and the attitude of it always spoke to me deeply. I could relate how I felt most of the time.

When I moved to the States, I wanted to start all over again with a new name and story. I wanted to make it something that could relate to my high energy self as well as a peaceful character of mine. My mind feels peaceful and most creative at night. I merged those two things into Nitepunk.

You recently released an EP, Red Turbulence, tell us a little bit about how this process was for you compared to the other music you’ve put together. What inspired you?

Red Turbulence tracks were supposed to be singles at first. But after Never Say Die Records reached out, I decided to go with the full EP and put all these out. I knew I had to go extra hard with the wrapping up of the EP. It was definitely the first big release for Nitepunk music.

I worked with super talented and creative visual artists for the teaser (credits in the video) but mainly with @iamgogokhia & @cbu3D. We spent all day working on the assets and visuals for about two months! One of my favorite memories ever!

Watch the teaser for Red Turbulence EP here!

Lastly, any upcoming shows (digital or otherwise) / projects we can direct people to check out?

Unfortunately, no upcoming shows at the moment. But, my music is on the way and I hope the Vapor95 community likes it too. The next couple months are very exciting for me! Can't wait!

✨ NITEPUNK ✨

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VAPOR95 LIVE STREAM 3.0 REPLAY

(Enter Full Screen mode for full e x p e r i e n c e)

In case anyone missed the third Vapor95 Live Stream...

We've uploaded the full show for you all!

The show was another incredible moment for us, featuring a roster of some of Vapor95's favorite musical acts. It was such a pleasure talking and vibing with fellow fans and supporters!

Special thanks to Android Apartment, Telenights, Lola Disco, kissmenerdygirl, 식료품groceries, Skule Toyama, Tupperwave, SUPERSEX420, 猫 シ Corp. and the Vapor95 friends and family! Be sure to follow and support these artists if you enjoyed their sets!

We're planning to do more of these shows so stay tuned for upcoming digital concerts by following the DARKNET Recordings Instagram, the Vapor95 Instagram, or our Facebook. You can also sign up for our mailing list on the bottom of our store's homepage.

VAPOR95 LIVE STREAM 2.0 REPLAY

In case anyone missed the star studded second Vapor95 Live Stream...

Sophomore Year Slideshow

Vapor95 and Darknet Recordings present Sophomore Year Slideshow! 🎞📺📼 An 11 track compilation encompassing the sensations of finding yourself and your place in the world. ✨Featuring some of the most talented producers on the planet and specifically curated for maximum emotional impact, this new compilation by Vapor95 and Darknet Recordings is a hallmark in the realm of nostalgic aesthetics. Come with us on our journey to Sophomore Year Slideshow. 📽

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EMPLOYEE SPOTLIGHT 

Japhy

What's your role at Vapor95?

What do your day-to-day operations look like and what's your schedule usually through the day?

What did you do before Vapor95?

How did you end up working with Vapor95?

What are your passions and interests?

Everyone at Vapor95 has a creative hobby. What's yours?

Could you tell us more about what you're creating/working on right now?

What has been your favorite part about working at Vapor95?

Where do you see yourself in five years?

What are your top three albums to listen to while you work?

What are your top three favorite movies?

How would your co-workers describe you in a few words?

What's something you've never told your co-workers before?

What advice do you have for someone who wants to work in a creative, dynamic environment like a startup or a fashion brand?

What message do you have for the Vapor95 fans and customers reading this?

✨Follow Japhy on Instagram✨

Welcome To The Vapor95
Quarantine Survival Guide

COVID-19 has impacted virtually every aspect of how we live our lives. It is affecting people on a global scale and we are all feeling the effects of measures such as self-quarantine and social distancing. Though these are no doubt necessary to protect ourselves and the global community, adjusting to this new normal can take a toll on our mental health. Luckily we are all in this together. Things like social media and Skype have bridged the gap between us and made something like self-isolation feel much less lonely. Quarantine in 2020 no doubt looks incredibly different than it would have over the years. Let’s take a look back at how quarantine has evolved throughout history.

14th century Venice was the gateway to the West. Ships would come with exotic goods, cargo and sometimes plague. Before they could dock they’d have to wait in the harbor for 40 days to prevent the spread of the Bubonic Plague or “Black Death”. In the Venetian language, 40 days was “quarantena”, which is the origin of the word quarantine. The first quarantine station was built on an island off the coast of Venice and many other European cities began building their own “lazarets” to house sick patients and maritime travellers. 

In 1793 a viral infection known as “Yellow Fever” appeared in Philadelphia and led to the creation of the first designated quarantine hospital in the United States, the Philadelphia Lazaretto. As outbreaks of Yellow Fever continued over time, Congress made the decision to implement the National Quarantine Act in 1878. This shifted quarantine decisions to a national level and we are still seeing the impacts of this in modern times.

Competing media narratives of contagion can drive a mind to the brink. There is much to know and little to do beyond keeping the door closed. If you’re stuck inside like we are, please know that the anxiety you might be feeling in the face of uncertainty is natural. The brain often knows no other way to react to uncertainty than with anxiety. Anxiety is the fear of a future that doesn’t yet exist as such, in the same way that nostalgia is a yearning for a past that never really existed. If you are at home and healthy, take a moment to breathe and remind yourself of the blessing that is your health and well-being.

Whether we end up being here for 40 days or much longer, quarantine is a time in which it can be hard to find balance. If you are lucky enough to have kept (a version of) your job then you’ll have to work, but will also need to find opportunities to relax. We are called in times such as these to reflect on how we maintain the health of our mind, body, and spirit. 

The good news is that there are plenty of ways we can overcome the feelings of anxiety, boredom, and monotony that are inevitable after spending a certain amount of time at home. We’ve compiled 5 expert tips on staying sane during the COVID-19 quarantine: 

1. Map out a daily schedule for yourself.

With many of us out of work or school, we’ve lost a sense of routine and normalcy. By creating a routine for yourself, you can maintain a sense of stability. 

2. Maintain communication with family and friends.

We are all in the same position and many of your friends and family are likely feeling bored and anxious as well. Modern technology has brought us closer than ever and times like these show us how far we’ve come. Keep in touch with your loved ones through social media or Skype.

3. Set a Daily Goal.

Try to map out at least one thing you want to accomplish for the day. It can be anything from practicing a new language, trying out a new recipe, giving your dog a bath, or even just making your bed. But setting and achieving a goal is a great way to feel accomplished.

4. Avoid Too Much News.

It’s very important to stay updated and aware of the unfolding situation, but too much exposure to negative news can take a toll on our mental health and ramp up anxiety. Try to tune out the news for a bit and engross yourself in a book or film. Try out a new hobby. Play a game with your family. Put on some music and dance. Get your mind off of the current situation as often as you can and know that all of this is just a moment in time that will pass. 

5. Try Something New.

Have you always wanted to learn a new language? Have you been talking about trying to write a book for ages but never quite found the time? Want to blow your family’s mind with some homemade lasagna? This unexpected chunk of free time many of us are experiencing is the perfect excuse to take up a new hobby. Turning your boredom into something productive and fun is a great way to make the time pass quicker. 

We at Vapor95 want you to feel supported during these confusing and unusual times. We are in this together. Our staff have compiled lists of films, television series, anime, YouTube channels, books, games, and music to help make passing the time a bit less daunting. Feel free to reach out to us with suggestions of your own! And always remember: you are never alone.

Spawn Wave Media (Gaming news)

Boundary Break (looking at what’s off-camera in video games)

Jim Sterling (video games criticism)

Ryukhar (Super Mario Maker wizzard)

State Azure (for ambient music and hardware lovers)

Andrew Ucles (for Steve Irwin fans)

Frank Yang (for the weirdest, deepest influencer ever)

Academy of Ideas (for learning and growing)

Nerdwriter1 (for very cool analysis of art, people, and ideas)

The Talented Mr. Ripley

Altered States

Reality Bites 

The Darjeeling Limited

Titanic 

Dead Poets Society 

Empire Records

Stalker

Aguirre, The Wrath Of God

American Movie

Brainstorm

Ninja Scroll

Kung Pow

The Matrix

Sans Soleil 

The Big Hack 

Pride and Prejudice

Tomorrow Never Dies 

The Matrix Trilogy (including The Animatrix)

Love Death Robots

Fight Club

Yes Man

Avatar: The Last Airbender 

Apocalypse Now Redux

Mulholland Drive

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

Eraserhead

U Turn 

Izo

Audition

The Godfather Part 1 & 2

Birdman

Heat

The Fall (by Tarsem Singh)

Paprika

True Lies

The Tree Of Life

Licence to Kill

Donnie Darko

Valerian

Alita: Battle Angel

Avatar

The Fifth Element

Back To The Future

Interstellar

The Wolf Of Wall Street

Inception 

The Middle of Nowhere by Ruby Haunt

Images du Futur by Suuns

Beach House

The Advertisers 

Fiona Silver 

Miranda and The Beat

 Dirty Fences 

Dinosaur Jr. 

Kurt Vile

Yo La Tengo

Kid A by Radiohead

Massive Attack

Ed Rush & Optical

Carbon Based Lifeforms

Jackie Gleason

Sufjan Stevens

Mozart‘s late string quartets 

Hilary Hahn playing the Chaconne from Bach’s 2nd Partita for violin

All The Way Up by Fat Joe & Remy Ma 

All of Montiverdi’s Madrigals 

Cursebreaker X by Equip

Polychrome by Koan Sound

Rose by Abra

Leaving EP by Skrillex

Untrue by Burial

Vapor95 X Darknet Mixes

Human by Henry Saiz

Nothing Is Still by Leon Vynehall

Destination Unknown by Pig&Dan

Damage Control by Mat Zo

Nuovo Morceau Subrosa by BT

Tipper

kll sMTH

Charles the First

Supertask

String Cheese Incident

Excision

Estas Tonne

Eminem

AC/DC

Two Steps From Hell

Ubik by Philip K. Dick

Metro 2033 by Dmitry Glukhovsky

Tales of Power by Carlos Castendeda

The Electric Kool Aid Acid Test by Tom Woolfe

A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess

Beastie Boys Book

The Stand by Stephen King

The Shining by Stephen King

No One Here Gets Out Alive by Jerry Hopkins

Wu Tang Manual 

The Last Don by Mario Puzo

The Family by Mario Puzo

Still Life with Woodpecker by Tom Robbins 

The Dharma Bums by Jack Kerouac

The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown 

Just Kids by Patti Smith

Something Wicked This Way Comes by Ray Bradbury

Watership Down by Richard Adams

The Golden Bough by Sir James George Frazer.

The Kingdom Of God by Leo Tolstoy

Neuromancer by William Gibson

Snowcrash by Neal Stephenson

Hyperion by  Dan Simmons

Canticle For Leibowitz by Walter M. Miller Jr.

The Rainbow by DH Lawerence 

Art Without Death: Conversations on Russia Cosmism by e-flux journal 

Finding a Form by William Gass 

Futures Past by Reinhardt Koselleck 

Collected Poems of Wallace Stevens 

Harry Potter by J.K. Rowling

Altered Carbon by Takeshi Kovacs

The Spy Who Loved Me by Ian Fleming

Here Comes The Roar by Dave Shaw

The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand

The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks

The Elephant Vanishes by Haruki Murakami

Anything by Kurt Vonnegut 

The Montauk Project: Experiments in Time by Preston Nichols

The End of Eternity by Isaac Asimov

Dark

The Office

Mad Men

Halt And Catch Fire

Maniac

Undone

Off The Air by Adult Swim

The 100

Brutal Doom

Fallout New Vegas

Super Mario World

Parasite Eve

Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 

Donkey Kong

Nickelodeon GUTS (for Super Nintendo)

The Witcher 

Wild Hunt

Earthbound

Battlefield

Starcraft 2

Fallout 4

Oceanhorn 2 (on Apple Arcade) 

Super Mario 3D land

Kirby Planet Robot 

Mirrors Edge

Far Cry 

Gravity Rush

Need For Speed 

Assassins Creed 

Super Mario Kart

Twisted Metal: Black

Final Fantasy 1 

Def Jam: Fight for New York

Antichamber

Overwatch

Legend of Zelda Breath of the Wild

Super Mario Map Maker

Witcher 3

Diablo

Grand Theft Auto: Vice City

Escape From Tarkov

Forza Horizon 4

Destiny 2

Akira

Paprika

Castlevania

Ninja Scroll 

“I recommend making music (at least trying). It's the most fun and amazing thing to do and if you don't know how to, you now have a lot of time in your bedroom to learn to make some beautiful sounds.”

“Get online design courses."

"Prepare your e-commerce business and strategy and run it out when the world situation is back to normal."

“Buy the dip.”

"Invest in crypto or biotech while the prices are reaching zero, if you can. It’s a win-win for you and the world, because the biotech center is trying to make a vaccine and you will get paid when the vaccine is finally developed and works."

"A good time to start a YouTube channel."

"Write your own book."

 
Comment Below & Tell Us How You're Getting Through This!

Ghost District EP

By MidiEvil

MidiEvil takes us on a journey to the Ghost District with 5 amazing records on the EP. We're very excited to feature this incredible artist and his latest EP today on our blog, DARKNET!   

"You walk through a ruined city. Trees reach out for crumbled ruins, and moss color one side of each structure. Vines crawl the sides of buildings. You are alone. You walk to a stream that runs through this city that has been eaten away by nature. You sit down and close your eyes. As the sun reaches the horizon you start hearing the river murmur to someone, the evening insects call warnings to those of the day and the birds warn you that the night is coming. All seems to create a luxurious blanket of sound. You open your eyes and you are immediately blinded by the setting sun. You realize you are not alone. You have never been alone". - MidiEvil

The first record on the Ghost District EP is Lost Soul. At once the ambiance in the track transports us from the familiar world around us, to somewhere far away from our present reality.  We are on a personal journey to the Ghost District. Small insects give this track a feeling of daylight fading into dusk. The thick synths side-chained as the beat gets louder gives the song a beautiful foreboding sound. Of course, it has to come with a lush 808 bass that strikes at the core of this song. "A lot of my music is made pretty late, and I thought this song gave you that introduction to the night. It is the whole start to the aesthetic.” - MidiEvil 

Next one up is called Hustle Graves. The off-kilter drum gives a wonderful swing to the song, while a reverbed lead breaks away at the beginning of this one. Another side-chain on the back synth gives it swing while the effected organ works with an 808 to give the back bone to Hustle Graves. Lots of open space and cuts give a variety of edges to listen to. A lot of different feelings from this one. “I just couldn’t seem to make her understand…"

Moving onto the next track, we hear Corrupt Files, less is more with this song. The pitch tuning bends that synth just enough to give it movement. Pound it out on the MPC, add some natural bird sounds for the environment and let it ride. The kick, snare, and hat are very trappy in this track, but the synths are very ambient with a little lead. The sounds work so well with each other, it's hard to argue that there needs to be more. Groovy. 

The 4th song on the EP is called Corrupt Files. The song evokes the feeling of being at the bottom of the ocean and is probably the most Vaporwave sounding track on the album. A very lush, rising/falling synth stem is held long enough to hear the movement, and an off step lead creates wave-like effects throughout this song. "Be like water. Go with the flow." - MidiEvil

MidiEvil closes this amazing storytelling EP with a 5th and final track, Boredom. Again, a simplistic track, but the sounds is what really makes it pop. Vocals and reverb work together, and the intermittent lead seems to break up parts of the song. This song has almost a Latin percussion that gives it a different bounce. Boredom symbolizes daybreak and the moment everything seems to end, but instead begins. The ghosts leave knowing that they will return again once the day has its turn. 

INTERVIEW

We're so proud to feature you on our DARKNET blog. Ghost District EP has been getting an incredible response on so many platforms! It truly is a work of art! Tell us a little bit about yourself and your musical background. Where are you based and what got you into music making? 

I hail from Minneapolis Minnesota, land of 10,000 lakes. I have been creating music for over a decade, mostly as a producer for hip hop artists in Minneapolis and Duluth, Minnesota. Right now I currently produce and DJ for LOWH1FUNK (Duluth), Strictly Hammers (Minneapolis) and EL.I.BE (Minneapolis). We have toured as far as Jackson, Mississippi and I have opened for artists like Lizzo (In the group GRRRL PRTY, way before Lizzo got to where she is at today), Doomtree and even Afroman to name a few. In the last couple of years, I have been branching out to create more solo pieces and I have been enjoying every minute of it. My start was born out of necessity turned to passion. Common to the Vapor95 DARE style, I had to make a decision of either choosing the party life or creating music for others (and myself) and I chose to create. It saved me and my close friends from losing each other to the scene we were involved in. I picked up a laptop one day, using GarageBand, and created songs note for note. I don’t use that method anymore and have been working with Reason and an MPC. It taught me about the finer details (and the struggles) of music. Now I have my own studio and spend a lot of late nights creating and listening. It is amazing what having your own space can do for your creative outlet.

Where did you hear about Vapor95? Have you always been into Vaporwave music and aesthetics?

You know that little ad that always pops up when you are browsing the internet that targets what you like? Vapor95 is the only ad I have ever clicked on, and that is how I found V95 and its Instagram, Darknet and everything in between. Random, but crazy how it all worked out. I started with a lot of Lo-Fi and trap music, but I have always loved the Vaporwave culture, as I think it has been a vibe that has always spoken to me. The colors, the greek roman marble busts, the Asian culture aesthetics, the anime, the lush wavey sounds of grainy Rhodes synth, I love it all! Whenever I need a break from music I am still playing Rush2049 or Legend of Zelda on my 64. Guess a part of me never left the ‘90s.

Tell us about your musical idols and where you draw your musical inspirations from! 

My first big start from someone who really inspired me was C318, the guy who produced all the music and even the sounds for the original Minecraft game. I used to watch people play and immediately was drawn to the beautiful ambient melodies that seemed to fit the mood of every single aspect of the game. If we go even further back it was the Ocarina of Time (Legend of Zelda) soundtracks. I loved that 8-bit ambiance. I have always tried to recreate that in some form or fashion with my music. Right now, I have been really hooked on artists like Laxcity, REACH., Alex Lustig, Ghostemane, Olswel and Hanz. Each has a futuristic sound with heavy bass. It seems I like to have a very lush sound with heavy 808s, and it seems to transpire into my own creations. My wife has also coined the term I use to describe my sound: Ghost Music. She usually wanders into the studio late and asks if I am making music for ghosts. Ambient synths with trap-like 808s seem to give it that feeling, so I have used the term when describing my sound or genre.

Please tell us about your music writing/creative process? How often do you collaborate with other artists? Who would you want to work with the most?

Usually, the only time I can work on music for extended lengths of time is late night, so I like to put on some anime without any sound (Cowboy Bebop, Mushi-shi, Samurai Champloo are my favorites) and play away. I tend to track everything out with an MPC. I find synth stems or loops that I really like, or make some and just create the melodies as I go. Drums are usually first, so I can loop them and play around with synths as long as I want. I typically start with a sound or a vibe and just work my way around how I'm feeling with it. The anime seems to influencer the vibe as well, as I watch it during small breaks. I have collaborated with only a few producers, but with a lot of hip hop artists and MCs in the midwest area. My dream collab would be with Laxcity or Hanz. Those guys are phenomenal in their workflow. They also do a lot of collaboration with SoundCloud artists, their sound is right in my wheelhouse and everything they seem to touch is gold. Right now, I hope to talk to some other producers willing to collaborate, that would be something I would like to do more.

How do you see yourself at the highest point of your career? What would be your ultimate dream to accomplish with your work and when do you see that happening? 

I see myself producing for up and coming hip hop artists and creating more solo EPs on a higher level. I kind of like staying out of the limelight, but just close enough to it, if that makes sense. I just want a lot of people to enjoy my music as much as I do, I think that would be the highest point in my career and my ultimate accomplishment. I have created music that I truly enjoy as an individual and I have had to battle internally to stay confident in what I do, especially when it comes to reaching others. My music has always strayed from the mainstream path and I have found some people don’t like to wander off that far. I just want to create music that people can vibe to on repeat. That would be huge for me. This EP has kind of had that feel to it, and the response has been amazing. I would like to keep pushing that further. No better time than the present, right? Huge shout out and thank you to Vapor95 and Darknet for giving artists like myself an opportunity to reach people who search for music like mine.

How often do you perform and where could we see you live? Can you tell us a little about your upcoming shows? 

My next show will be at Cadence Coffee and Records in St. Paul Minnesota with EL.I.BE April 11 at 7 p.m., which will have Marcel P. Black coming from Baton Rouge. Louisiana. Marcel P. Black has been touring with his theme “Real EmCees don’t rap over vocals”. The next one I have on the books is a wonderful event called Homegrown Music Festival in Duluth, Minnesota. This event is a week long music event spread across many bars and venues throughout Duluth. My group LOWH1FUNK will be playing Dubhlinn’s Irish bar Friday, May 1st. This event is a Duluth staple and has a variety of genres, bands and entertainment throughout the entire week. We are talking a couple hundred bands and over fifty venues during that week. This will be my sixth or seventh year playing the event and I couldn’t be more excited, so if anyone is in the area I highly recommend coming out to see a lot of that event. Thousands of people come to this event and it seems to get bigger every year. Libbfest will be rocking this summer as well, a festival held by Bear Lake in Brimson, Minnesota and hosted by some of the coolest people in Duluth. They hand build their stage every year and have some great experimental bands that usually end up collaborating with each other late at night. If anyone in the Minnesota area is looking to learn more, feel free to send me an email in my SoundCloud bio. 

Finally, we would love to ask, what would you say to up and coming artists who want to pursue their passion?

Make music for you, first and foremost. Yes, music is meant to be enjoyed by everyone, but if you can’t enjoy your music fully, then the music will not be as meaningful -or create something more for you. Don’t let what’s hot determine your style of music. Take the pieces you like and incorporate all your favorite sounds into a track and EXPERIMENT. Try something new and don’t tell yourself no. One more thing- music is like anything in life: if you really want to be good at something, put in the time to do it, even when you don’t feel like doing it. Some of my best tracks have been created on nights I just wanted to be lazy, but told myself I had to at least give it some time. I have found myself on those nights three hours in and bobbing my head. Keep consistent, work hard at it and love what you do!

ARTIST SPOTLIGHT

Tara Noir

 What inspired you to dive into the world of music creation? Please tell us about this journey! 

I’ve always been involved in music since I was young. My father is a musician and I can’t remember a moment where music wasn’t my main focus. Music is my religion - I practice it, I preach it, I support those involved in it, I go to events and concerts to worship it, and music is basically my first love. It raised me. I won’t dive too deep into it but throughout high school, I was basically homeless/lived alone the whole time. I lived in my car for a good chunk, but wherever I went I kept my guitar with me. I kept it to myself and in my loneliest times, I would play guitar and pretend I was somewhere else. Music is my best friend and always has been, always will be. When I listened to music I sunk into whatever song I was listening to. 

We know that you produce the majority of your music. Please tells us more about your creative process - what software or instruments do you use for your music? How often do you collaborate with other artists? 

I’ve used Ableton since Day One and I have to say I don’t think I see myself switching from it anytime soon. I love to stick with some 80’s inspired synths or dreamscape-video game sounds. I like to describe my vision for the majority of my music to be the soundtrack to underwater levels for video games. I play guitar, bass, keys, and drums, but I’m mainly a drummer. If you want to count flute in junior high add it to my discography haha. I don’t collab often, but I’m more than open to it! I spend most of my time having jam sessions with my right-hand man is NALASA - we like to call ourselves “The Pioneers of Psychedelic R&B” as a half-joke. He just released his first single on SoundCloud called “Say What You Want.” He deserves the world. 

Who are your musical inspirations and idols? Who would you want to work with the most? 

Sade, Sade, Sa-DE! I grew up listening to Sade as a kid and to this day she’s one of my favorite artists. I get a lot of inspiration from her style of singing- deep, long, silky, sultry vibes. Other artists I admire are Hall & Oates, Wham!, The Strokes, Tame Impala, Unknown Mortal Orchestra, Hiatus Kaiyote, The Dig and so many more that I could go on and on haha. My music taste has a wide range. I’d love to work with Anderson Paak. the most, however. That man has the most hustle, the most stage presence, and the most fucking style. Wow. Even if I could shake a tambourine on his song or have him use my snap or play a bass line; maybe he could say “Yes, Lawd,” on my track. Even if he could critique my work that’d be an honor. 

Please tell us about other art projects of yours! Where can people look for it? 

I also paint and do graphic design work! I’ve done work for Phatcap Beats, ChillCow, AniDojo, and other independent companies and artists. My art account on Instagram @violetsandlillies.

How do you see yourself at the highest point of your career? What would be your ultimate dream to accomplish with your work and when do you see that happening?

If someone throws a bra on-stage with my name one it, then yeah I’ve reached my final form haha... Kidding. You know when you go to a concert and there’s that time before the main performer goes on where there’s music playing through the PA and everyone’s just standing around and talking to their friends? And then the music stops, the lights go down and everyone screams? Yeah, that’d be enough for me to be. Peak Career would be if I had a SOLD OUT show.

How often do you perform and where could we see you live? Can you tell us a little about your upcoming shows?

I don’t perform as often this time of year. I plan on playing a few shows around Orange County, CA around Spring 2020 after my upcoming EP is solid and I can share it with the world live before digitally. 

Finally, we would love to ask - What would you say to up and coming artists who want to pursue their passion?

Work hard, stay curious, and let your music speak for itself. Let your actions speak louder than words. People know a hard worker when they see one. It’s okay to say you’re proud of yourself. “Everyone messes up at some point- it’s how you deal with it that matters. The real difficulty is not letting the carpet be pulled out completely from underneath you. Any bad experience affects your confidence, and that can lead to a downward spiral. But I don't know anyone who hasn't gone through this.” - Sir Simon Rattle

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The 84 Stories of Vaporwave: What is DERELICTメガタワー?

JOIN THE INTERNATIONAL TEAM AS THEY ATTEMPT TO CATALOGUE A MEGATOWER OF UNTOLD HEIGHTS. WILL YOU MAKE IT TO THE TOP??? 

Today, you and I are going to be dissecting death’s dynamic shroud’s 84 track behemoth known as DERELICTメガタワー.

“So my first impression of Vaporwave was a very sort of negative and it made me take this Puritan stance against sampling… The idea with DERELICTメガタワーwas that, you know, the totality of music history was this “megatower” and every generation adds to their own floor or layer of this megatower… but as we take ideas from the past and recontextualize them or sample them or whatever, like a Jenga tower we are taking pieces from the bottom and putting them on the top…” - James Webster of death’s dynamic shroud.wmv

Ask any Vaporwave fan out there, and they will tell you that nothing ever really comes close to the experience of listening to death’s dynamic shroud. Consisting of Tech Honors, James Webster, and Keith Rankin (whom many of you may recognize for running Orange Milk records as well as the incredible artwork he has done for a handful of artists), the talented trio of death’s dynamic shroud provides a diverse opportunity for production due to the fact that they can mix and match their members to create the exact mood, atmosphere, and tone they are looking to nail for a project with pinpoint accuracy. Like some trio jumping in and out of the playing field in a Marvel vs. Capcom game, death’s dynamic shroud is able to pass their projects to their partners, when one of them knows the track they are currently working on, may benefit better from the talents of another member, or maybe they just simply can't figure out what to do next and inspiration has run dry... It’s a practice that provides a great example of power in numbers, and while Heavy Black Heart is the only actual known album all 3 of the members worked on, there is without a doubt that these members use one another for advice, criticism, or even just a way to look at a track in a new light.

Did you know that Tech made 世界大戦OLYMPICS completely on his own? Or that Keith Rankin never made a solo album under the death’s dynamic shroud monicker? Or how about when James works with Tech, death’s dynamic shroud spits out something more emotionally gripping and haunting like REGRET, or on the other hand, when he works with Keith, we get something way more jarring and obnoxious, the screeching yet melodic siren of I’ll Try Living Like This.

Because of this opportunity to mix and match, death’s dynamic shroud will always provide something wonderful for anyone, and it's always fun discussing their discography with other death’s dynamic shroud fans and seeing which album is their favorite.

“My first experience with death’s dynamic shroud was seeing the album art for I’ll Try Living Like This… I fell in love with the sound that is so unique to them… I love how it seems like if they think an idea is good, they find a way to make it work… they have a way of taking a round object and putting it flawlessly through a square hole, and that’s crazy to me. ” - S h e e p (Fiction Lead and Content Creator for Private Suite Magazine)

For me, I have always been split between 4 of their albums as “my favorite”: Regret, 世界大戦OLYMPICS, I’ll Try Living Like This and DERELICTメガタワー. Obviously, all 4 are completely different from one another and that is why I do not believe I will ever truly be able to pick one. But today, we are going to be specifically focusing on DERELICTメガタワー.

“... but suddenly, Vaporwave was making video game music cool again, and so we were making these mixtapes  for each other passing them back and forth and just  enjoying, so my stance really changed on sampling and recontextualizing music” - James Webster of death’s dynamic shroud.wmv

Despite its massive size of 84 tracks and over 4 hours of music, death’s dynamic shroud’s 2014 release DERELICTメガタワー was created solely by one member of the trio: James Webster. Starting as a concept album for HCMJ (another one of James names to produce music under), the works were eventually transferred into the DERELICTメガタワー album for death’s dynamic shroud.

His 84 track experiment, consisting mostly of old video game samples giving themselves to James for him to control and bend at his will, represents everything Vaporwave is all about to the fullest degree. For most of these tracks, James would focus heavily on the process of recording with tape. Music was recorded onto the 4-track, and then played back into the computer at a lower reel speed. This created a warm, natural slowing and pitching of the samples as opposed to a digital simulation in a DAW.

“... So some of that snarkiness and sort of punk rock energy from that original HCMJ concept still exists in DERELICTメガタワー”  - James Webster of death’s dynamic shroud.wmv

DERELICTメガタワー is simple at its core and represents the idea that you can really do anything in the scene, no matter how serious you take it or not. This is why this album is such a hub world for vapor fans out their, new and old. Just an experiment.

“84 tracks, just like the quests that I’ve never completed in most RPGs, you kind of get lost listening to this album, but luckily unlike our SNES, you can listen to this album on shuffle and still get a great experience.”  - KITE0080 (Vaporwave YouTuber)

The tracks themselves would be nothing without the overpowering aesthetic behind it. I envision the tower in the artwork, some floors being more convoluted while others are mere lobbies... a resting point between two hectic spots. In a way, I also like to think of the album as having to save points. I have never listened to the album straight through and whenever I revisit it, I usually listen to it in chunks eventually pausing at a more calm or simple track among its journey. There is an amazing amount of variety between every song, rainy days and sunny days, really pushing this grand journey as you progress to the top of the megatower.

“... Dream Catalogue, which is where I really wanted to be at the time… I loved what they were doing and I was a huge fan… I felt like, well if I make a 4 hour long album and just send it to them, they won’t be able to say no! ”  - James Webster of death’s dynamic shroud.wmv

And when actually glancing at the tracklist on its Bandcamp listing, that first time you stumble upon that web page and scroll down, witnessing the sheer length of songs PERFECTLY replicates the entire idea of the album in the first place... Looking up at the ever so gigantic, intimidating, dark tower in the middle of a city. You know at first glance, putting aside whether or not you will actually like the music or not, no matter what-- listening to derelict is going to be a challenge for you.

“... and, death’s dynamic shroud really lives up to their name because, if there is one way I can describe this album, it is dynamic. ”  - Magdalen Rose (YouTuber)

So whether one perceives James's reasoning for the massive length of the album as unnecessary filler to stretch a narrative or actual concrete beauty building those floors (or a mix of both), the connection between the albums enormous tracklist and villainous-looking artwork undoubtedly makes you curious about the project altogether.

“... Because death’s dynamic shroud was really just a joke in the beginning about Vaporwave, not necessarily making fun of it, but Tech and I had spent almost a decade making original music and original compositions, playing in bands… so, originally, death’s dynamic shroud was a fun space for us to play around with other people’s music… taking it to its maximum extreme was something that really appealed to me at the time.”  - James Webster of death’s dynamic shroud.wmv

An album this big and/or intriguing easily creates a buzz and, in my opinion, encouraging discussion is one of the most rewarding benefits an artist can achieve when making music; the idea that you can bring people together to discuss it and just have a fun time breaking it down.

If you haven’t geared up for the trek yet, I highly recommend finding the time to listen to this thing. This is not an album you have to listen to in one sitting, I actually recommend you treat it like a book and I think you’ll get the best experience that way, revisiting it whenever you’re ready to take on the long, arduous task ahead.

“... I say it doesn’t really matter… because I think everybody has a unique experience waiting for them inside the megatower”  - Porter Vong (The Richest Man in Vaporwave)

Much love, ur boi, Pad Chennington.

"Also known as "Youtube's Vaporwave Valedictorian", Pad Chennington is a content creator who has created a substantial following on YouTube for his videos discussing all things Vaporwave. Starting in the Fall of 2017, Pad's videos range from reviews to breakdowns, interviews to unboxings, and much more, always revolving around odd and interesting music genres found throughout the internet. Pad has also recently released an album in February titled "CONTRAST" that is available as a free download via the My Pet Flamingo label."

Check out the album below 

The Abandoned Genre of

"Ocean Grunge"

Thalassophobia: a persistent and intense fear of deep bodies of water. While many quickly resort to feelings of fear when envisioning the dark void of the deep sea, there once existed a small selection of artists who, around 2014, tried to bottle that eerie, boundless energy of the ocean into a musical form. Today, we are going to explore that genre, a now-abandoned genre once known as “Ocean Grunge”, what it was and some of the notable releases from this aquatically angsty genre found within the depths of the internet. I invite you to take my hand and make sure you bring some solid scuba equipment as we embark through dark granite colored water and never-ending cloudy skies above us, all while reflecting a hopeless attitude on contemporary western society because you know, all internet genres are deep. No pun intended.

Welcome my friends to the abandoned genre known as “Ocean Grunge”

Ocean Grunge is an interesting topic to make a video on because, well, there really isn’t that much to talk about nor a dense history to go off of. On the surface, Ocean Grunge pretty much practiced a lot of the same tendencies other quirky electronic genres emerging from the internet around that time did as well, but did it with such a specific narrative in mind that it created this interesting little bubble of a vibe, which also caused its inevitable downfall due to its narrow flexibility. To save you time and to get us to actual examples of Ocean Grunge, I highly recommend checking out FrankJavCee’s famous video on how to make Ocean Grunge whenever you get the chance. While his videos were mostly parody-based, frank is a smart fella and is really good at wording things in a comedic, yet informative way. He does a great job explaining the construction of the sound for what it is, but to knock out what Ocean Grunge literally was for this article and to get us to the good stuff, it was an electronic music genre heavily influenced by early Vaporwave, drone, and grunge with an aesthetic of dark, cloudy, endless waters. You will also find a lot of sources saying its influenced by Nu metal, but I really do not see that at all

There were not really too many ocean grunge releases, the genre pretty much came and went because the narrative was so specific. How many songs could have possibly be made about the same thing? How many times can we take pictures of a gloomy ocean and say to ourselves “what would this sound like in musical form?” To be honest, I have never really listened to this little nook of a genre before exploring it for this topic, so I searched up the “Ocean Grunge Essentials” list and picked 5 of these that I thought the album cover was cool on and give them a chance. One of these albums I actually enjoyed very much, was pretty surprised actually so make sure you stick around for all of these picks I'm about to present to you today. Get cozy my friend because you and I are going to be exploring what Ocean Grunge has for us beneath the surface.

5) gorgeous☵gorgias - oceanographer #15

At #5 to start off the list, we are going to take a look at “oceanographer #15” by gorgeous☵gorgias. This was the first album art that popped to me from the list so I said let’s give it a shot.

Taking a look at the album art, it seems some helicopter expedition group just made a discovery that pretty much makes no sense, because it seems like they're in the middle of the ocean and there is no way that that thing floats so either this statue extends hundreds and hundreds of feet below what we’re seeing or the density of this water is so thick that this statue is just plopped at the top. I mean, now to think of it, it also kinda looks like snow so maybe this is Snow Grunge :^)

“oceanographer #15”, after listening to it, is pretty simple and vacant of any intensity. The Bandcamp description has it as “The story of a woman who ran away from Life to find Death in a submarine.” … very chilling 

The album contains 6 tracks with some classic Ocean Grunge treatment, slowing down them samples with a multitude of textures to make this thing sound crunchy, yet underwater. It seems the album’s main weapon to ”woo” you is its constant panning, but I just think that method gets kinda annoying and overdone throughout the entirety of the album. Certain sections of songs will be situated completely on one side of your headphones, or it'll just be constantly waving back and forth between your ears… I mean hey, waving, waves, like the ocean,...right?

Nonetheless, some pretty chill background music and definitely sounds like you have signed your life away to live in a submarine, constantly descending deeper and deeper with each track.

4) Pacific Despair - ~~~Devour~~~

Oooh, this one looks a little spooky baby I don't think I wanna be treading at #4 here with “~~~Devour~~~” by Pacific Despair. A dark, brooding album cover of what seems to be a world with an ocean below us and an ocean above, or maybe this is the perspective of swimming deep within the depths of an underwater trench, getting closer and more claustrophobic with every push towards the bottom of the sea. “~~~Devour~~~” comes at us with 6 tracks, a very similar format and track length list almost completely identical to “oceanographer #15”. If you check out a couple of this Ocean Grunge releases you can easily see why this genre kinda went under. A lot of it just seemed to be the same thing release to release, just some gloomy Mallsoft if anything, so I think it's just more of the name of the genre that dispersed or labeling this sound as “Ocean Grunge” than the actual sound itself disappearing. Ocean Grunge is just another case of the always-sprouting niche genres the internet belches up for us that find its eventual doom due to the limitations conjured up by its own narrative.

Nothing too dynamic or ear-catching on “~~~Devour~~~” as well, just some more faint background noise to accompany you if you’re studying, cleaning the house, or whatever you like to do. The is pumped with reverb, echoing samples, droned out and constantly retexturized metallic sound effects… you know the deal. I mean, it definitely does sound a bit distant, like you’re under the sea while there is a ton of activity going on above the surface but being so deep underneath, the sound just can't quite get past the ocean water into your ears. “~~~Devour~~~” a good example of what ocean grunge wants to be, another product off the ocean grunge conveyor belt and we can leave it at that. Every track pretty much sounds the same, all leading up to the final track “no signal” which just sounds like one 10 second sound stretched out by like 2000%, it does the notion of an “aquatic void” justice I guess.

3) POSEIDON IN CHAINS - Beneath the burning hands of God

Next up, I decided to choose an Ocean Grunge album from the Ocean Grunge Essentials list that did not actually have an ocean in the picture… crazy right?

Let us take a look at “Beneath the burning hands of God” by POSEIDON IN CHAINS, 5 tracks all with a decent amount of length to them ranging between 6 and 8 minutes long each. The album describes itself on Bandcamp as “From the last remnants of the planet, around the year 2500”, and it definitely does give you an abandoned, apocalyptic feeling. The constant sound of ocean waves crashing upon the shore are remnants of a once flourishing coastal town, flocks of seagulls searching for a bite to eat, bellowing vocal samples poking out between the more quaint parts of the track where a lot of the sounds seem to mellow out... You’ll hear some stretched wind chimes, or what seems to be some glass or metallic noise-making objects. Very vast, enormous feeling, and an album that really scopes how big and empty the world would be if nothing existed but oceans and remnants of what used to be a society. Beneath the burning hands of God is very spa-like, yet definitely ominous; it is like the Tripods from War of the Worlds about to come out the damn ocean and vaporize you at any possible second.

I think this album is definitely better than the first two we took a look at, there actually is some effort in regards to creating a layered, structured song. POSEIDON IN CHAINS does a solid job with synths, sounds, and sights to really give each little instrument or hum it’s respected space, definitely sticks out as one of the more prominent, talented artists from such a specific corner of music. “Beneath the burning hands of God” paints a picture of this hopeless wasteland we find ourselves in quite well, a cinematic experience for something that can only be heard through 5 tracks. Good job with this one.

2) metsu - as the earth drinks

Next up we got “as the earth drinks” by metsu, another 5 track release coming out all the way back in June of 2011. Recorded in December of 2010, “as the earth drinks” is an ambient and textural five-song album with bit crushed and compressed drums, fingered guitar strumming and some moments of breakdowns believe it or not (track 2 titled “imber” goes hard at the end, out of nowhere). This album is definitely not Vaporwave, some of these Ocean Grunge albums really flow towards the “grunge” side, and this album is definitely one of them. As I was mentioning earlier, I think a lot of Ocean Grunge is basically just some gloomy mallsoft with a narrative based on the ocean, I guess the other half is just ambient sounding grunge.

“as the earth drinks” is a cool listen, very raw and seems super unpolished which, we all know, can sound really great if it is done right. The album really feels like it was recorded in one go by some friends in a garage on a rainy afternoon, tracks like “rust/gasping for air” sound like a chillaxed jam session with your best buds and a 12-pack. Some tracks just sound like your standard “grunge” song, I do not really see the relationship to the ocean in track #4 titled “to keep from drowning (your feet must touch the ground)”, but hey, not everything needs to be a e s t h e t i c.
This album has a physical release, which is also surprisingly still available for being out since 2011. The CD comes in a shrink-wrapped, high-quality printed board case with a really nice 5-panel pop-out accordion artbook. I really adore the packaging here, Ocean Grunge definitely has some strong and mesmerizing colors in its palette and the CD packaging here takes advantage of that quite well. Only 100 of these exist, and hey, why not support these fellas and grab something that somehow still exists for sale that is almost 10 years old. Pretty cool indeed.

1. --§E▲ ▓F D▓G§ - THROUGH THE FOG AND THE DRIFTWOOD
   

Alrighty, last but definitely not least, I want to share with you an album that I actually find to be quite amazing and I am really happy to have discovered it by checking out this Ocean Grunge Essentials list. For the final pick of this countdown, we are going with one of the OG players of the Ocean Grunge sound --§E▲ ▓F D▓G§ and their release of “THROUGH THE FOG AND THE DRIFTWOOD”.

Coming in at 10 tracks, August of 2014’s “THROUGH THE FOG AND THE DRIFTWOOD” by --§E▲ ▓F D▓G§ is everything an Ocean Grunge album should, and can, be. The album is way more dynamic in sound range compared to everything else I pretty much took a listen to here, you got a ton of instruments and sampling techniques going at it with one another and a whole bunch of energy to really replicate an ocean of waves at war with one another, constantly crashing and colliding in a world where no land exists at all. The opening track “Slain” does a fascinating job at welcoming you to this world, a wrecking ball of an atmosphere as the song hits you with every component the Ocean Grunge toolbox can possibly throw at you.

What really does it for me with this album in its a range, every track has a personality of its own. While track #1 “Slain” is an orchestra of Ocean Grunge attributes, track #3 “It’s Over” is sampled and produced to sound almost sound like a George Clanton track if it were to be dropped down in pitch. Track #6 “Blu like the Ocean” has some classic eccojams vibes to it while the final track “Once Again, Left With Tears” sounds like what a Death Grips instrumental would be in the Ocean Grunge genre.

I also love the album artwork on here, those light grays to dark granite colors are so pretty to me and the artwork here helps you visualize an endless, hopeless sea quite well. I was picturing that ocean world from “Interstellar” while listening to this thing, all of it is very grand, overwhelming, and aggressive. The album has also dropped on cassette twice, unsurprisingly both sold out, the limited edition cassette and limited edition black tape anniversary cassette both looking really nice and for any of you who were able to pick this up over at Bedlam Tapes, be proud as this is a very solid piece to own. Hey, maybe this will gain some new attention for the album from people who have never heard it and we can somehow get a physical release of this again one day. Imagine this on a super dark forest green / light black swirl vinyl pressing? Absolutely gorgeous.

Ocean Grunge, for what it was, provided a unique aesthetic for an ambient, grungy sound. It’s downfall and short-run history is unsurprising though because, as I said, the narrative is so specific it creates a ceiling for how high the artists can go in regards go creativity, inspiration, and community. And, if they did want to experiment beyond what Ocean Grunge could be, it just places their sound in another genre. But, as always, who cares because at the end of the day, placing a genre on a sound is just a way to put faith into labeling something. I find some of these releases to be pretty good, definitely the last one we talked about, while others just seem like regurgitated background noise we hear time and time again from the internet. I don’t see the genre ever making a true comeback, but it is definitely fun to return to the idea of it nonetheless… setting sail in cold, cloudy waters where you are one wave away from being swept into the dark black void of the ocean. 

Safe travels my friend.

Much love, ur boi,

Pad Chennington.

"Also known as "Youtube's Vaporwave Valedictorian", Pad Chennington is a content creator who has created a substantial following on YouTube for his videos discussing all things Vaporwave. Starting in the Fall of 2017, Pad's videos range from reviews to breakdowns, interviews to unboxings, and much more, always revolving around odd and interesting music genres found throughout the internet. Pad has also recently released an album in February titled "CONTRAST" that is available as a free download via the My Pet Flamingo label."

VAPOR95 SYMPOSIUM 2019

On the weekend of July 5th, 6th and 7th Vapor95 hosted its second pop up shop experience: The Vapor95 Symposium 2019. Held in Los Angeles, the 2019 Symposium featured a three day Vaporwave shopping mall experience, a runway fashion show, and dance party, all in the surrealist Creatington Studios.

The Symposium featured Vaporwave design and art installations by eminent Los Angeles art gallery Chewing Foil as well as artists Internet Paradise, Tara Noir and Lordess Foudre.

Day One kicked off with a one-of-a-kind aesthetic shopping experience fulfilling all of the shopping desires you came to expect from Vapor95, with racks of clothes, pins, shoes, blankets and nostalgia inducing times.

We wrapped up the first day of shopping with Cherdleys' fashion show while Alain de Saracho provided the retro auditory bliss for the catwalk. Journalists and press abounded while our models showed off their aesthetic fits.

It was amazing meeting so many fans, customers of Vapor95 and supporters of our brand and cause! We are so thankful for everyone that came. 

Day Two. Racks and racks of your favorite Vapor95 fashion. A statue of h e l i o s pierced into the souls of those who entered. The iconic V everywhere.

After day two's all day pop up shop we had the official Symposium after-party with a plethora of DJs. This was made more epic by a spectacular light display on the dance floor and TV wall curated by Paul Plastic and Chewing Foil. Cyna started off the night with some spectacular synthwave, Baja Ajax played us his pure all original set of Vaporwave, Frank Javcee got the dance floor moving with his late 90's, early 2000's pop hits playlist. Corbo dazzled with his surrealist Vaporwave set played on a modular synthesizer, and Spook Daddy ended the night with some throbbing Caribbean booty music and breaks.

Day Three was a sad day, but all good things must come to an end. Experiences end but feelings are everlasting.

What a splendid way to spend three days. Fashion, art, music, design, nostalgia, and bliss.

Make sure you check out this killer video to get a taste of the fun we had.

Go ahead and subscribe to our official YouTube channel so you don't miss out on fun stuff in the future.

Don't feel bad if you missed this pop-up, like we always say, 'the aesthetic revolution is only getting started'.

Stay tuned for news about our next pop-up experience.

17 𝑨 𝑬 𝑺 𝑻 𝑯 𝑬 𝑻 𝑰 𝑪 Songs in Video Games

By Pad Chennington

ASK H E L I O S EPISODE TWO:
I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT YOUR CHOICES

It happened through complete accidental luck.

A bunch of questions whizzed through the internet and plopped onto h e l i o s’ desk. In the stack of questions, I saw a beautiful pattern and the ultimate arrangement of ask h e l i o s equation appeared. Like a crop circle to a corn farmer, it was strange at first...until I stepped back.

Welcome to the second ask h e l i o s newsletter. Today’s issue uncovers the truth about the best decade of all time, how life-changing epiphanies really come your way, and whose mind you should actually read.

Together, we’ll soar through the nostalgic galaxy toward truth and transformation. Now, a question to which h e l i o s has already lived the answer.

I.

Why are the ‘80s the best decade of all time?

Besides the ‘80s being the birth decade of yours truly, there are a number of reasons why.

In many ways, the ‘80s were the first decade defined more by its pop culture than its political, economic, and all the other important happenings. Especially the movies, as they served as perfect modes of exposure for all the other elements of pop culture that no other decade had done before.

That’s why the best way to understand the ‘80s, in h e l i o s’ humble, selfish opinion, is to look at the films. You see, that’s how I consumed the ‘80s. Deep in the flicker of a television screen. It reminds me of the days where I sat alone in the living room while an endless stream of movies played to a curious crowd of one viewer: me.

Even now, I can close my eyes and imagine this dream world where my life is a cocktail of every ‘80s movie I’ve ever seen. If I could go back in time and turn my life into a movie, it would be an ‘80s movie. I would take bits and pieces of different ‘80s movies to create my entire existence.

What would the perfect decade look like for h e l i o s?

Well, I’d always have a witty quote ready for any situation like John McClane in Die Hard. Whenever I’m frustrated in this perfect decade, I’d express my true feelings like Ren in Footloose’s warehouse scene. I’d solve all my personal disputes with colleagues and friends with rainy, noir Highlander sword fights. My best dinosaur friends would be Duckie and Petrie. Other notable friends include the guy who makes the noises from Police Academy, the Shrunken Head guy from Beetlejuice, Sloth from Goonies, and Billy from Predator.

I’d dress like the cast of the Lost Boys when I’m in a bad mood. In good moods, it’s vaporwave aesthetics, of course. I’d have an Asian uncle like Mr. Miyagi who I’d spend a summer with learning karate. My biceps would look like Stallone’s in Over The Top. I’d live in a suburban dream home like Ferriss Bueller. I’d eat pizza and go shopping at the Ridgemont Mall (which reminds me a lot of our Vapor95 retro virtual shopping plaza). I’d live with my very own Johnny Five. My best friend would be Goose and he’d be the best damn wingman I’d ever met. My other home would be the pirate ship inside the cave in Goonies. I’d always have a killer one-liner like John Matrix in Commando. Mr. Keating from Dead Poet’s Society would be my high school teacher. Dr. Indiana Jones would be my college professor. When I’m confused about life, I’d go ask Zoltar and he’d sort me out.

The skies are always burning orange and red like they were in To Live And Die In LA. When the sun sets, the skyline lights up and inspires me for hours (see above). I drive a Tron motorcycle and Falcor is basically my vaporwave Uber. I’m woke AF like the dude in They Live. But, I’m constantly confused like Bill and Ted. My Big Trouble in Little China mullet is the perfect mix of business in the front and party in the back. Gizmo is my pet. And every day, I’ve got ‘80s Tom Cruise positivity swagger.

That’s a fine mix that jolts the imagination awake. It brings me joy on many levels, to imagine what that mash-up would look like. It’s simply the best, most nostalgic decade (even if ‘95 is the most special number of all time).

So, which ‘80s and ‘90s movies would you want your life to look like? Which movies give you that sweet retro, nostalgic, vaporwave feeling? Tell us below in a comment!

Watch enough ‘80s movies like me and you’ll have some crazy daydreams or some kind of epiphany about your life. Did someone say epiphany?

II.

My name is Donovan. I'm a sophomore in high school still aimlessly clawing through my time and trying to figure out what I want to do. My question to you is: what was an epiphanous moment for you that changed who you were?

The answer will probably disappoint you. h e l i o s has been searching for this "epiphanous" moment his whole life. Probably wishful thinking from all the movies he’s watched. I imagine this day where some big heartbreak happens and I’m totally, completely transformed.

After this epiphany, I start to appreciate life. I say “yes” to fun opportunities to play volleyball on the beach with my co-pilot or skip class and have a wild, unforgettable afternoon with my best friend and some random girl. I shed my insecurities. The flaws shake off like dead leaves. I drop the box of cigarettes in the bin. I throw the alcohol bottles away. I wake up before the sun. I throw on my Just Jazz hoodie and joggers. I hit the gym every day. My head is filled with 99.99% happy thoughts and the demons disappear.

But, it’s just a fantasy. A fantasy built around the epiphany fallacy. Because humans don’t really work that way. Especially not marble statues. No matter how much they love comeback stories.

You will, however, go through a bunch of moments. Some are minor dramas. Some break your heart. Some leave you with depression so cold you can’t see the other side. These moments don’t always feel like epiphanies. But, trust me...they are.

We’re so jazzed by the Hollywood depiction of an epiphany that these amazing moments happen in our life and they feel way too humdrum. They don’t feel epic or cinematic. There’s no orchestra to go with our breakdown. Nothing aesthetic about it. It leaves us disappointed. It leaves us expecting a real epiphany to come in the future. One day...

The moments you do have are actually really cool moments. Like little side quests in the game of life where you pick up some skills you never sought out to have.
(And if you imagine them juxtaposed to the ‘80s music above, you’ve got yourself a pretty epiphanous movie montage known as “your life”. Add some retro aesthetics and now you’re in it.)

Since Game of Thrones recently wrapped up, here’s a Peter Dinklage quote from a talk he gave. You can substitute “defining moments” for “epiphanies.”

“Don’t search for defining moments. Because they will never come. The moments that define you have already happened. And they will already happen again.”

I love that quote. The moral here is: you‘ll never accumulate XP-boosting epiphanies by sitting there. You gotta go out and shake things up. Be vulnerable. Fuck up. Make mistakes. Start over. Start over again. Look back from time to time and realize how far you’ve come. Collect your little cadre of epiphanies along the way. h e l i o s sure has.

I hope with enough good livin’ and experiencin’, you can look back with your own nostalgic wisdom on all the little epiphanies you’ve collected. Even if they came as a consequence of foolish mistakes and terrible choices. My own terrible choices helped me answer questions like this from Ethan:

III.

Until just recently I felt set in my decisions. I believed I had made all the right choices. Now, I've begun to doubt that. The people around me have begun to act differently than I thought they would. Like, they're different people. I'm not sure I can do anything about this, but I was wondering if you had any mindreading tricks I could learn. Perhaps then I could make choices that lead me instead to you.

I will answer your question in three parts. First, the essential part of your question. Do I have mind reading techniques which you could learn? No. Not really. That’s overrated. But, wait. There’s more.

The people around me have begun to act differently than I thought they would. Like, they're different people. I'm not sure I can do anything about this.

Like I said, mind reading is overrated. You even answered your own question here. You see, people will continue to act differently than you think they will. Heck, we sometimes act differently than we think we would. People change. That’s a good thing. Don’t let this discourage you. Don’t try to read minds. Don’t try to play mental games.

Instead, understand humanity. In all its fickleness, volatility, and stupidity. The only mind you need to worry about reading is your own. The most powerful mind reading is done on yourself. It’s not easy to read through the bullshit you’re thinking and see the truth. But, it’s way more valuable than reading through someone else’s cranium. Reading your own mind will set you free.

Lastly, I want to talk to you about your choices. Indeed, this question comes from someone who made choices. Good choices. Great choices that led them to me, h e l i o s. You too, dear reader, have made choices that lead you to me here on this web page on the internet.

Now, dear answer-seeker, you think you made some wrong choices in life? It’s called being human. h e l i o s begs you not to look back on your choices unless they are with rosy nostalgia or blissful contemplation.

Speaking of contemplating your choices, here’s a cool thought experiment to show you you your choices have been a lot more fascinating than you think. I share this little experiment to show you you’ve been in control a lot more than you can imagine.

Warning: if you’re not into diving deep into the marble fountain of your mind, skip this exercise.

I’m going to paraphrase an exercise from Robert Anton Wilson's book Prometheus Rising and hope he “chooses” not to sue us.

Sit in a room where you will not be disturbed for a half hour and begin thinking, "I am sitting in this room doing this exercise because..." and list as many of the "causes" as you can think of. For instance, you are doing this exercise because your dear aesthetic overlord h e l i o s told you to try. How did you find yourself reading this newsletter? Where did you find h e l i o s? Did somebody tell you about Vapor95? How did you meet that vaporwave-loving person? If you randomly found us on the web, why did you happen to be on that particular page that day? Why do you visit the websites you visit? How did you become interested in the things you love? What things from your childhood brought you here? Why are you reading this blog on a computer instead of a tablet? Why are you sitting where you are? Why are you in this city and not another? Why in this country and not another? Why were you summoned into this aesthetic universe at all? How did your parents meet? Why were they at the right place at the right time? And, so on. Avoid answering through concepts like karma, reincarnation, fate, or coincidence. The point of the exercise will be rather mind-blowing when you think about all the great choices made to bring you here.

When you really think about it, could it be that you’ve actually created this whole vaporwave thing yourself? I mean, there’s really no proof that we created it. You may have created it in your own consciousness as a glitch in our modern day programming. Or because your brain was bored with modern style. Or because the reality you wish to live in so badly is becoming real. Can you prove to me that you’re not creating this newsletter in your own head as you reach each new word and letter? Send me an email with your proof.

Doesn’t reading minds seem pretty amateur when you realize you might be making reality up as you go?

Are you grateful to be here, my aesthetic friend? The greatest decade-its movies, music, culture, and clothing-is at our fingertips. We’re collecting mini-piphanies all the time and growing because of it. All our choices, decisions, and mistakes have brought us all together in this retro moment in time.

It sure is a great time to be...alive and aesthetic.

A tender adieu,

h e l i o s

P.S. Thanks for reading the second ask h e l i o s newsletter. It was a wild ride, I’ll admit. Feeling some heavy emotions? Wanna dress yourself in the finest retro clothing? Want an outfit that brings you closer to your greatest epiphany?
Make your wisest choice and visit our store here.

P.P.S. Have you read our first ask h e l i o s newsletter? Check it out here.

Macintosh Plus X Vapor95

Vapor95 and Chronos & Vermilion are elated to present the Official Macintosh Plus Lifestyle Collection. The collection features pieces inspired by the iconic artwork of the first and only Macintosh Plus release, “Floral Shoppe” (2011).

Presented in two unique styles: firstly in its original form and color scheme as “Macintosh Plus Classic” (MPC), and secondly in a black and white reimagining referred to simply as “Limited Edition” (LE).

The “Floral Shoppe” LP, released in 2011, is a seminal album in the creation and viral spread of the vaporwave genre. Floral Shoppe brought together the nascent, disparate themes that would later come to be associated with the genre as a whole.

The slogan "It’s All In Your Head", being a misinterpretation of the warped original lyrics "It’s All In Your Hands", captures the mental blur created from the rapidly increasing encapsulation of technology and the internet onto almost every aspect of our waking lives.

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