Ode To Dead Malls

ODE TO DEAD MALLS

The first time I stepped foot in Innsbrook Mall, I was a freshman in college still feeling out of sorts navigating an unfamiliar town. I needed my license plate renewed and did a quick search for the nearest DMV, expecting the experience to be no different than stepping into any other DMV in America. When I got there, my gut instinctively told me that I was in the wrong place. There was a small stairwell that had been roped off and two broken escalators on either side. I awkwardly stomped up the unmoving escalator and was greeted by the eeriest environment I’d ever found myself in. It was as if I’d been transported back to 1983, but as someone who usually would have been comforted by the nostalgia of the distinctively 80’s signage and cheesy jazz wafting from outdated speakers, I felt weirdly on edge. I was the only person there. Every storefront was frozen in time in a way that made it feel as if these shop owners left with the kind of hastiness only a zombie apocalypse would bring about.

The DMV experience was as uneventful as I’d expected. It was one of two shops still operating inside of the mall and was almost as stuck in time as the rest of the place (the other one still in operation was a quinceanera dress shop) But I left with a newfound obsession. The eerie feelings I’d experienced, the stark contrast between the comfort of being in what is essentially a time capsule and the adrenaline rush of being in an abandoned space that almost feels forbidden had me hooked. In true retro nostalgic fashion, I bought a film camera to capture the details of this mall I found so charming/creepy. I brought friends to see it, promising them that this was unlike anything they’d seen before. Some found it as exciting as I did, others were confused by my bizarre enthusiasm for what was basically a barren, decrepit strip mall that smelled like mothballs. After researching the mall’s history a bit more I was led to and embraced by a community of people who were as hooked on those feelings as I was.

Innsbruck Mall

Innsbruck Mall was built in 1966 and was a product of its time. America was still figuring out what a shopping mall could and should represent, and Innsbruck was not immune to this period of experimentation that dropped off during the '80s and '90s as malls became more formulaic. Innsbruck Mall had a Bavarian/German theme, with some of the storefronts designed to look like something out of a Bavarian village (but in practice ended up looking a bit more like one of those Medieval Times Dinner and a Show places). It’s two big “anchor” stores were a Winn-Dixie and a Brendle’s Catalog Showroom, which went out of business in 1996. The mall was considered more or less “dead” after its closing, meaning that Innsbruck hasn’t been in operation (besides the DMV and quinceanera shop) in over 25 years. This left me with so many unanswered questions. What system was the quiet overhead music running on? It was such distinctively '80s mall music I could only assume it’s remained largely unchanged throughout the decades. When was the last time the hilariously overgrown indoor plants were pruned? And most importantly, what did this mall look like in its heyday? I was lucky enough to come across an absolute gem of an ad for Innsbruck from the mid-'80s, one that perfectly encapsulates the cheesy optimism that was '80s consumerism (and one that will be stuck in my head for years to come).

I discovered early on that this dead mall obsession was a very specific phenomenon that attracted people on a deeper level than the hobby of urban exploration in general. People were drawn to the nostalgia of '80s and '90s hyper-consumerism, memories of childhood innocence, the feeling that these spaces were such an essential and permanent part of American culture. The downfall of the shopping mall came as little surprise following the rise of online shopping, but it still represented the death of an iconic cultural institution. The ability to experience these once perfectly manicured, impressively modern spaces as overgrown, deserted, outdated ruins is such a unique experience. Each dead mall represents more than just an abandoned space, it represents abandoned memories and the death of a more carefree and optimistic way of life. It’s similar to what draws people to Vaporwave as a genre, that yearning for a place in time that exists only through relics like music and defunct technology. There’s actually a huge overlap between these two communities, and retro nostalgia is what bonds the two.

In some ways, my skeptical friends had a point. They are just abandoned spaces, no more than a few boarded up shops and outdated signs advertising things at hilariously low '80s prices ($3.99 for jeans is one I’ll never forget). Is there really a significance to this eerie, forgotten place that will soon be demolished? If the people I’ve met online throughout this journey have taught me anything, I’d say yes. There are few things that sum up what the 1980s represented better than a shopping mall. And to experience the somber remnants of that is the coolest experience. I’ll never forget my Innsbruck Mall experiences and I’ve made a point of exploring other abandoned malls around the country. If there are any near you (which, with the rate of mall closures in the past 20 years, there’s a good chance there is) I’d recommend checking it out and getting those mothball induced goosebumps for yourself.

ARTIST SPOTLIGHT: RIGELWAVE

ARTIST SPOTLIGHT:
RIGELWAVE

Hi Rigelwave! We absolutely love your style and are so excited to feature you on our Darknet blog. Tell us a little about yourself and how long you’ve been creating art.

Thank you so much for this opportunity!

Well, I’m a digital artist from Chile! I live in a city called Viña del Mar and I studied digital animation.

I started creating art and publishing it on social media in the beginning of 2018, three years ago. I’ve been attracted to the art world since I was a kid, but I never thought I could work on it until I started studying.

How would you describe the style of your work and where do you draw your inspiration from?

I try to not think that I have a “style” because I would feel stuck in it, but people often describe it as a “retro futurist” since I like mixing old technology with current and futurist items, such as outfits or backgrounds.

My inspiration comes from different places, some of them come from my childhood. My dad is an electronic engineer and programmer so I always had a computer in my house. Playing retro games on my computer or putting the information for my classes at school on diskettes, listening to music on radios with cassettes and all that stuff brings me back to the old days in the beginning of the 21st century.

Cyberpunk aesthetic is also part of my inspirations. Harajuku style and Kawaii girls, too.

When did you discover your passion for the Kawaii aesthetic reflected in your work?

I think it was when I was in the second year of my college, because I started watching kawaii anime like Sakura Card Captor and Marmalade Boy. I got inspired by their aesthetic and I used it in my works.

Tell us more about your artistic process. How did you go from rough idea to finished piece? What kind of materials do you use?

Well, since I’m a digital artist I just need a computer, the program, and my digital tablet. I try to get inspiration from Pinterest, Tumblr and Instagram, saving pictures of old devices such as Tamagotchi's or old cell phones and cute outfits that I can use on the girls that I make. I do a rough sketch, then I do the line art, and then I paint it with shining colors and glitches.

Does music inspire your artwork or creative process? Are there any specific artists you like to listen to while you create your art?

Yes! Snail House’s music is a huge inspiration for me when I have to draw something cute! When I wanna draw more retro stuff, The Midnight, Ollie Wride, and Jessie Frye’s songs help me a lot to get in the mood.

Can you tell us a little about any pieces or projects that you’re working on at the moment?

At this moment, I’m just working on upgrading my Ko-fi shop and doing commissions! Two weeks ago, I released an animated music video on my YouTube channel. I haven't animated since I got out of college so I wanted to try doing it for my portfolio. It's a very cute song so I tried to use a very kawaii aesthetic on it.

If you weren’t an artist, what would be your ultimate dream job?

To be honest, I always wanted to be an artist since I showed interest in it at a very young age. But what I also love to do is to attend public! I love going to conventions and selling my merch there, so working in a store selling stuff will be amazing and super fun.

What advice would you give to aspiring artists looking to pursue art at a professional level? What’s something you wish you could tell your younger self?

I think one of the most important things to do is not to devalue our work. Art is a luxury, not a necessity. Some people often think that art should be cheaper since “it's fun” or “a hobby”, and a lot of younger artists fall in that and feel that their work isn’t good enough to charge for it. Art is a profession like many others and it takes a lot of time, work, and practice to get to a good level. Nobody is born with the talent; you only get talented by working hard and studying well.

And to my younger self...I wish I could hug that kid and tell her that she shouldn't listen to mean comments and kids that bully me. And to never give up on creating art! ♥

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A Trip Back in Time: How to Build a '90s Retro Gaming Rig

A Trip Back in Time:
How to Build a '90s Retro Gaming Rig

Nostalgia trends have been growing and growing recently. The value of Pokémon cards, for example, skyrocketed recently as recent influencers like Logan Paul and Randalph of the Sidemen have gotten involved into collecting. Tamagotchi has been making a comeback and Bandai has even released modern versions of them. Old school anime like Cowboy Bebop seem to revive themselves every year and even old school Jojo’s Bizarre Adventures keep popping up in my timeline. Maybe it’s all a side effect of the Mandela effect (which may or may not have something to do with that big ole’ particle collider).

Naturally, when you follow the nostalgia train all the way back to things like Samurai X, Beetle Borgs, and Power Rangers, you can’t help but think back to old school gaming and the classics that defined modern gaming that would follow. Sure, classics like Duke Nukem, Street Fighter, Sonic the Hedgehog, Unreal Tournament don’t have the incredible graphics and immersive, hyper-stimulating graphics of modern classics like Halo and God of War. But what they lack in graphics, they make up for in powerful story, era-defining combat systems, and all-round fun.

All this being said, if you’re looking for a kick of nostalgia and have some time and extra cash to spend, then this guide is for you. We’ll take a look at how you can put together an old school rig and get back to enjoying the classics that made gaming what it is today.

1. So Why not just Emulate?

If you’ve played a classic Pokémon game on a PC before, then you’re quite familiar with the concept of emulation. In a nutshell, emulators are computer programs that are designed to mimic the experience of classic games or games that aren’t intended for the PC, like Pokémon Yellow.

Unfortunately, however, due to the advancements in operating system and hardware capabilities, a lot of the original gaming experience is lost, especially the audio experience. There’s just something special about hearing game sound played through a square wave generator on an old mother
board.

Now, let’s start diving into the nitty-gritty of putting one of these bad boys together.

2. Let the Game Choose the CPU

As with all ventures in life, the best way to start is with a concrete idea of where you are going. It would be a shame to put together a massive '90s rig just to find out that your game of choice does not run well on it. Get started by coming up with a list of games that you are likely to play on your rig and use that as
a roadmap for building your parts.

In my case, I’d love to jump back into Diablo, Doom, Warcraft II, and Duke Nukem. So, we’ll be taking a look at MS-DOS era parts to get started.

As a computer nerd like myself, it's natural to want all of your parts to be the absolute best and fastest parts available for the time. There’s a counterintuitive twist with regards to retro games though. Due to the way the AI in many games were programmed, faster processors sometimes can mean unbeatable AI. You see, the faster your processor speed, the faster the AI can make a “decision” about how to punish your mistakes. Many games can simply be unbeatable.

Think about playing Metal Slug on the hardest difficulty, except now the AI can act faster than human reaction time. Yeah, not exactly a laid-back way to spend your Friday evenings. You’d probably end up rage breaking your monitor (and if it’s a CRT, you won’t likely get another one)! So, let’s avoid monitor-shattering rage with a wise processor choice.

In my case, the retro PC build begins with a Pentium Pro, which clocks up to 200MHz. Since I’ll be blasting heads in Doom and I don’t feel like fighting AI plugged directly into Skynet, the 200MHz processor is ideal.

If you’re looking for games that are dated around 1998, then try to get your hands on a Pentium III or Athlon, clocked at 1GHz. You’ll have plenty of processing power without the annoying ultra-powerful AI.

3. The Graphics Processing Unit

GPUs are an easier choice to make in a retro gaming rig and actually have a lot of room for shortcuts. Of course, there are a lot of old school 2D and 3D graphics adapters, but luckily for us, there’s a shortcut! By 1998, Nvidia and the other major GPU producers like 3dfx and ATI had produced adapters capable of both 2D and 3D resolution.

Of course, this is overpowering the rig a bit for a game like Doom, but it won’t come with the same annoying AI drawbacks as an overpowered processor.

For this build, I’ll be rolling with the Voodoo3 by 3dfx. This was the most popular adapter on the market at the time but there’s a catch. No 24-bit color. If you want a full spectrum of glorious '90s gaming performance, then look into the Riva TNT2 by Nvidia. You’ll get 24-bit color and a slight performance upgrade from the Voodoo3.

4. Choosing a Mother Board

Motherboards are kind of an easy choice to make once you’ve landed on a GPU and CPU. If you’re going with Intel, then your best bet is to avoid the Intel 820 and 840 like the plague. These motherboards used a “new” type of RAM called Rambus Ram. Rambus Ram was initially heralded to have higher
performance than SDRAM, but performance issues were common, and Rambus RAM would often flop under pressure.

If you’re still committed to Intel, then an 810 or 815 should be ideal.

Dell motherboards are a no-go as well, unfortunately. I know, I know. Those TV ads are popping into your head too. As awesome as it would be to pay homage to the things that once interrupted Dexter’s Laboratory, Dell motherboards from this era used a 6-pin CPU power connector, which has a unique pin configuration. Meaning, that the chances are extra slim that you find the appropriate power supply in 2021. We’re talking struck-by-lightning slim.

For this build, I’ll be rocking with an AMD K6-2 motherboard. You’ll want to ensure that whichever motherboard you choose, it's an ATX board. Otherwise, getting a case for it will be difficult or impossible.

5. Choosing the Rest of Your Parts

Now that we’ve gotten most of the core components selected, it's time to dive into power supply choice, storage space, optical drives and sound cards.

Power Supply Unit

The K6-2 motherboard is an ATX 1x board, which uses a 20-pin power connector. Lucky for us, nowadays there are still low-end Chinese power suppliers that you can find in this format. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find a specific example to link to, so this is one of those parts of the blog you’ll have to search through eBay for (and there’s gonna be a whole lot of that happening anyway, trust me).

RAM

Since we’re running a K6-2 motherboard, we’ll need PC100 memory to work with it. K6-2 motherboards use Super Socket 7, and PC100 is the most compatible for it. Try to go for dual-sided modules when picking your RAM. These sticks have low-density memory and usually work better with the older chipsets.

Hard Drive

To minimize load times (probably a good idea considering our social media-debilitated attention spans), you’ll want to burn a copy of your game onto your hard drive. With this in mind, 40GB of space should be more than enough to store the few classics you’ll be playing, with room for plenty more.

Optical Drive and Sound Card

Last on the list we have something which may as well be considered extinct to modern gamers: a CD drive and sound card. Most modern mother boards come with limited CD drive compatibility (if any) and default sound cards at best. This wouldn’t fly in the '90s.

Sound cards and CD drives were mandatory for gaming, at least until you burned the game onto your hard drive. No particular advice on the type of CD drive, just make sure you get one. Technically, you could still download an old ROM and play without the need for a likely impossible-to-find disc.

6. Finding Your Parts

Unfortunately, there’s not a ton of guidance that I can give with regards to finding specific parts. The processor, power supply unit, motherboard and RAM can usually be found on eBay. The processors will be the easiest to find, but you may have to do some digging for the remaining parts.

Searching your local thrift stores, antique stores or pawn shops might yield something. Also, as GaryVee would say, garage sales are huge. There are a surprising amount of retro machines out there just waiting to be sold off for $20. Don’t be afraid to go on a nostalgic adventure, pop in to random garage sales, and start your next retro gaming rig.

ARTIST SPOTLIGHT: BEACHGHOST

ARTIST SPOTLIGHT:
BEACHGHOST

We’re huge fans of your work and are so excited to feature you on our DARKNET blog. Tell us a little about yourself and how long you’ve been creating art.

I grew up on the coast of Victoria, Australia in the '90s. I’ve been making art since I can remember, no matter how small. It’s always been a part of my life. When I wasn’t surfing, watching TV or playing video games, I was most likely drawing.

How would you describe the style of your work and where do you draw your inspiration from?

If I had to put a label on it, I’d describe it as Ukiyo-e retro anime aesthetic. I really love the look and vibe of anime from the '80s and '90s, nostalgia plays a big part in what inspires my work. I’m a big fan of the Japanese art movement Ukiyo-e. I look to folklore and mythology for inspiration when crafting narratives that inform my artwork.

Tell us more about your artistic process. How do you go from rough idea to finished piece? What kind of materials do you use?

Recently, I have been really enjoying working in watercolour. First I come up with a concept, an idea of what I want to visualise. This might be fan art, something inspired by folklore, science fiction or a more abstract idea like a vibe or feeling. I sketch a lot whilst looking at references until I have a composition that I like. With pencil, I then lay down the foundation of my image on watercolour paper. I ink over the pencil with fine liner pen and erase the graphite. Then, I color the image using watercolor paint.

We love the nostalgic pop-culture references your art touches on! Are there any particular movies/series/video games closest to your heart?

I’m a big fan of media from the '90s, growing up in that decade I was exposed to a lot of stuff that formed the basis for my taste in art and entertainment. My Game Boy Color was my gateway to the world of Japanese pop culture. Pokémon, Dragon Ball Z, and Digimon were early favorites. Films like Akira, Ghost In The Shell and most of the Studio Ghibli films come to mind when I look for inspiration for my works aesthetic.

Can you tell us a little about any pieces or projects that you’re working on at the moment?

I’m preparing to start working on an exhibition that will be held in Melbourne, Australia. I don’t have much else to share about this project. I’m hoping to experiment with animation too. 2021 will be a very busy and productive year for my art practice.

If you weren’t an artist, what would be your ultimate dream job?

I’d say something that involves nature. Working for a national park would be really cool. I like to be in nature and that gets overshadowed by my art practice. If I couldn’t pursue art, I’d probably want to be working as a nature conservation officer.

What advice would you give to aspiring artists looking to pursue art at a professional level? What’s something you wish you could tell your younger self?

Try not to compare yourself to other artists. Take inspiration from artists whose work you find a connection with and try to learn from how they approach image making. Compare yourself to only yourself and your previous work. When you notice your work getting closer to what you want to be able to achieve then your momentum will start to increase and you’ll only continue to improve.

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BEGOTTEN: A Disturbing Online Music Mystery Part III

BEGOTTEN: A DISTURBING ONLINE MUSIC MYSTERY PART III

Before we go forward today, make sure you’ve already checked out Part 1 and Part 2 of this story so you’re all caught up. With that being said, let’s begin the end, a conclusion to all the madness.

In 2017, a series of limited conversations between an unknown music producer and a record label owner would lead to the upload of six disturbing albums, each including their own unique set of tragic poems, blocks of confusing Chinese texts, mysterious music videos and paragraphs that recite the label owners experience with this unknown music producer, a producer with a worrisome story that seemed to get all the more real as time went by.

This notorious producer is known as b e g o t t e n 自杀, and as we’ve learned in Part 1 and Part 2, the first four releases from b e g o t t e n 自杀, and the mysterious events between them and the label owner who gave their releases a home, Dennis of Geometric Lullaby, are...pretty interesting…to put it lightly.

In a span of seven months, Dennis released the first four albums b e g o t t e n 自杀 sent to him on Geometric Lullaby. With each upload onto Bandcamp, Dennis would go into detail about his experiences and communications between himself and the unidentifiable producer at that time. I expect you’ve already checked out the first two parts of this series, so I don’t find it necessary to go over everything again, plus I know you want to get right to the big question: who is b e g o t t e n 自杀?

I’ve been along this journey with you as well as I’ve made sure to keep myself from reading the full story until I fully finished creating Parts 1 through 3. I thought doing so would be more of a genuine way to go about documenting the story of b e g o t t e n 自杀 over time, plus it would be more fun for me as well. It’s been giving me something to look forward to with each installment, so trust me...I am so beyond excited to finally crack this case and hopefully get to the bottom of it all as well.

The b e g o t t e n 自杀 Halloween Mixtape [October 14th, 2019 / GEO - SP10]

So before we get into the 5th and 6th albums, the two final releases from the b e g o t t e n 自杀 series and what ended up happening in the saga of events between b e g o t t e n 自杀 and Dennis, I think it would be really fun to talk about this thing: the b e g o t t e n 自杀 - (Halloween Mixtape)

Not only would it be fun to talk about, but it’s also pretty important. b e g o t t e n 自杀 , and the story of b e g o t t e n 自杀 , has become sort of legend in the Vaporwave scene...there is no doubt about that. With all of the mysterious uploads Bandcamp has for us waiting to discover, the b e g o t t e n 自杀 releases are easily some of the most interesting and darkest material to dive into and the b e g o t t e n 自杀 - (Halloween Mixtape) showcases the fascination not only from the fans, but from fellow artists and producers as well.

This thing is massive...20 tracks from some serious heavy hitters: Hantasi, 猫シ Corp., MindSpring Memories, desert sand feels warm at night, just to name a small handful. And some of these tracks are hella long, MindSpring Memories remix of (invisible) - 无形 clocking in at over 10 minutes and 異星人’s remix of (love) - 真愛 hits the 12 minute mark.

What also makes this mixtape so much fun and such an incredible service to b e g o t t e n 自杀 is that each artist brings their own flair and signature sound to the table, but at the same time they still pay respects to that b e g o t t e n 自杀 mood. Signalwave legend S p o r t 3 0 0 0 and his jolting take on (longing) - 渴望 brings in an element of experimental and space-exploration-esque synth work, all while still laying it on top of that classic, ominous b e g o t t e n 自杀 drone. We even have the thunder from down under, A Future Funk titan: TUPPERWAVE is even on this thing, giving (aquamarine) - 蓝晶 a sort lo-fi hip hop treatment. He keeps the entire track feeling like it’s submerged in this sink full of ice cold water, a well done little tune and gives a great take on the b e g o t t e n 自杀 sound in just over a minutes worth of your time. And w i n t e r q u i l t 愛が止ま’s remix of (ghost) - 鬼白 ?! I ain’t even gonna say anything…I’ll just let you listen to that one for yourself.

Dennis also got in on the fun as well, providing mastering for a handful of the tracks on here. The mixtape dropped seven months after the final release in the b e g o t t e n 自杀 series (new aura) - 新时代 (which we will obviously get to in just a bit, get ya seatbelts on!) and this mixtape was the perfect treat for the Halloween season in October of 2019. The album dropped alongside that mouthwatering Ghoul and Ghost box set, a limited collector's edition release dropped by Geometric Lullaby that contains every b e g o t t e n 自杀 album, including the Halloween mixtape, and was such a delightful way to pay homage to the entirety of the b e g o t t e n 自杀 story.

But now, it’s finally time to return back to where we left off. Let’s rewind it back a year earlier: October of 2018. b e g o t t e n 自杀’s 4th album, (happy anniversary) - 周年快乐, had just made its way onto the Geometric Lullaby catalogue, and around this time, the relationship between b e g o t t e n 自杀 and Dennis almost seemed sort of finalized… but was it really though?

Before that 4th release, just to quickly recap, Dennis had finally received an email from b e g o t t e n 自杀 after such a long time of hearing nothing back from them at all. Dennis wondered if they were seeing the albums on Geometric Lullaby, the reception and how the albums quickly formed a cult following. Dennis had no feedback from b e g o t t e n 自杀, which was unfortunate to him because all he wanted to know was what they thought of the releases.

The email Dennis received at the time of the 4th upload was short and simple:

"Thank you. I am still alive. I am okay for now."

Short, simple, sweet, and just enough to crack a smile on Dennis’ face. Despite its seemingly conclusive nature, Dennis wanted to take a couple of weeks to figure out how he wanted to respond and how he wanted to say it. He promised those who visited the Bandcamp page for (happy anniversary) - 周年快乐 that he would keep them updated on the situation.

b e g o t t e n 自杀’s 5th album: (forgive and forget) - 原谅和忘记 [December 24th, 2018 / GEO - 025]

Forgive and forget stands out to me for many reasons. I would say that this is the most melodic and romantic sounding of the begotten series. It uses mostly a different language so the words themselves are impossible for me to understand, but the sound of the music does all of the work with this one. Somehow, Begotten still manages that eerie feeling, a pit in your stomach, just a seed of something...off as you listen to this record.

Dennis of Geometric Lullaby

After b e g o t t e n 自杀 had thanked Dennis in his quick email, Dennis was very grateful to at least hear anything at all. After a couple of weeks, Dennis emailed b e g o t t e n 自杀 back and thanked them for the submission and their music. He explained that people were enjoying the releases and that they, b e g o t t e n 自杀, should be proud.

The email back would spring up a conversation. While Dennis was not given any details about this person's whereabouts or who they actually were, they began describing to him the intense mental illness that they lived with. Dennis notes on his Bandcamp that he actually holds a degree in psychology, so he understood plenty of what they explained.

But something (like most things involving this artist) seemed odd. As Dennis would receive more emails, he was starting to get a feeling that he was not actually speaking with b e g o t t e n 自杀 directly. It seemed as if he was messaging someone who spoke for them. A caretaker perhaps? They spoke as though they'd studied the human psyche in depth and really knew the deepest feelings of b e g o t t e n 自杀…but it just wasn't them.

All of this was happening after the 4th release obviously and before the 5th release was put out on Geometric Lullaby. Dennis was in Europe at the time with his band on tour through Germany, admitting he was a bit distracted at the time due to the shows. A bit of time would pass without Dennis answering b e g o t t e n 自杀 (due to lack of WIFI and general busy-ness) and when he figured out how he would ask if it was someone speaking on b e g o t t e n 自杀’s behalf...

He received one of the most disturbing emails yet.

For the sake of discretion, I am leaving it up to you if you would like to see the text of that email. On the Bandcamp page for (forgive and forget) - 原谅和忘记, that email is there, just be advised it is pretty morbid.

Along with this email, however, there was also an attachment labeled "me"

It was a video.

Dennis has yet to figure out what the video means, who it is, or what is going on in it. He uploaded the video to YouTube as an unlisted link through his Bandcamp page. If you click the link there, you will be able to check it out.

Dennis wasn’t sure if what was attached was some staged, fake video. Was it taken from a movie or tv show or even another YouTube video? He asks that if anyone recognizes it, let him know. The sound is unrecognizable, as is the individual in the video.

With this latest, intense email from b e g o t t e n 自杀, Dennis was once again going to take some time to figure out his next move. As time had past since (happy anniversary) - 周年快乐, Dennis thought now would be a good time to release the next album in the lineup given to him from the original b e g o t t e n 自杀 email as he once again found himself in a situation of email chess.

Released on Christmas Eve, (forgive and forget) - 原谅和忘记 would be Geometric Lullaby’s last gift for 2018. The release would contain nine tracks that all begin with “un” (except the bonus track).

1. (unprepared) - 措手不及

2. (unraveling) - 解开

3. (understanding) - 理解

4. (unfortunate) - 不幸的

5. (unending) - 无止境

6. (unconditional) - 无条件的

7. (undeserving) - 不值得

8. (unless...) - 除非…

9. (bonus track) - 同情

This is one of my favorite b e g o t t e n 自杀 releases, an extremely emotional blend of wonderful vocal sample selections melted with a heavy pouring of warm production on top. That smoky b e g o t t e n 自杀 texture is at an all time high on here, the reverb and fogginess that lays over track 3, (understanding) - 理解, is like hot fudge melting through sweet vanilla ice cream. Track number seven, (undeserving) - 不值得, features the pendulum of a beautifully tragic crying vocal loop on one side with a lonely and distant horn sample on the other. And in the middle? An ice cold blast of trap percussion, that heavy hitting hi hat frenzy is a brilliant surprise and provides some stellar contrast to the lost mood in the majority of the track.

I think “lost” is a good word to describe this album, it feels as if you’re in a virtual world of wireframe-filled hallways. Everything is black besides the thin purple lines that make up all of the wireframes. Track number five is a great example of this, (unending) - 无止境, that constant echo effect used on the claps and other instrumentals really feel as if this thing is large and, like the name of the track, never ending.

Unlike most releases that b e g o t t e n 自杀 sent over in that original email, (forgive and forget) - 原谅和忘记 would only feature one music video instead of the usual two. This music video came with track six, (unconditional) - 无条件的. And, who would’ve guessed it, more skeletons. This time though, maybe the cruddiest quality footage yet, the barely visible and barely working video is more like a collection of photos instead of a smooth flowing video. We’re simply given a skeleton dancing around, breaking down and building itself back up, all before breaking down one last time before the video ends.

Here was the poem given with this release:

Can I recognize feelings?

Can I sense that they're there?

Has all gone to numbness?

In place of despair?

I can ask for forgiveness

But I know it will never come

I can wait until you forget

But there's no ridding of what's been done

A quote was also given along with the poem that read:

Tell me why...

As with all of the other albums, a series of Chinese text was also sent along with (forgive and forget) - 原谅和忘记.

The album’s sound is in pretty heavy contrast compared to the vibes of the track list, poems, Chinese texts, and messages at the time from b e g o t t e n 自杀 (or as Dennis believed, a person talking on their behalf). I kind of see the whole thing as putting on a face, while on the inside you can feel completely different. It’s something we’ve seen come up time and time again with cases of severe mental illness, a person seeming happy and friendly on the outside while something is eating away at them on the inside.

The album hides away it’s thoughts and feelings through sound. The music given to us from b e g o t t e n 自杀 is a mask.

b e g o t t e n 自杀’s final album: (new aura) - 新时代 [March 25th, 2019 / GEO - 030]

A void is all that's left

No sanity to be found

I've lost my mind in the process

I can't distinguish any sounds

When there's nothing to live for

And you truly are at your last

You hate yourself thoroughly

Solely dwell on the past

A new you starts emerging

Something different, something clean

Something desperate for anything

Other than a dream

But dreams are what I have

They beckon me with demand

Let's hope my dreams never come true

For if they do, you'll know exactly who I am."

This was the last and final poem sent to Dennis from b e g o t t e n 自杀, this of course coming along with the 6th album: (new aura) - 新时代.

I knew this time would come. I had been waiting for it ever since releasing the very first begotten cassette, and I must say, it is bittersweet. I am honored be have been chosen by this artist to present their work to the world. I am glad that so many have listened and enjoyed what they've created. While I know it is not for everyone, I personally find each album as something special. But you probably already know that by now.

Dennis of Geometric Lullaby

(new aura) - 新时代 may be the most experimental release of the saga, and it seems fitting as this chaotic journey only seemed to get more and more bizarre along the way. It’s as if the mask from the fifth album was ripped off and b e g o t t e n 自杀’s thoughts, feelings and emotions scattered into a thousand different directions, with no destination in sight.

The album pushes far the abstract and spacious sounds of darkness. (new aura) - 新时代 plays with texture even more than the others, tracks like (distill) - 蒸馏 are straight up broken. Take the echo effects of the track we mentioned in the previous album, (unending) - 无止境, and turn it up to a hundred. Everything is crumbling...instrumentals stepping on top of one another...a stampede of muddy sounds. However, towards the end, the only thing we are left with that is tangible is that eerie, unsettling howling that’s laid over the congested mess of sounds. We see the same thing with track number ten, (connectivity) - 连接, which all feels like a Missingno. Version of a Mallsoft track, but once again that horrifying vocal comes back in to remind us of b e g o t t e n 自杀’s world.

It’s kind of like the same thing that happened in The Caretaker’s Everywhere at the End of Time, the final album in that series being the most broken and decayed release yet. Also, both projects have six releases in them…Kind of interesting to note.

To Dennis, (new aura) - 新时代 gives him feelings of other-worldliness, caverns, alien-like vibes, and pure insanity. The album feels like an emotion we can’t fathom, only something that the set, specific person it’s coming from, would understand.

The album is one of the longer releases in the b e g o t t e n 自杀 catalogue, 14 tracks which clock in at just under a half an hour.

Here was the Chinese text that was provided by b e g o t t e n 自杀 for this release:

“如果没有不死技术，我将在未来35年内死亡，”他感叹。死亡是不可避免的 - 目前至少是因为随着年龄的增长，构成我们身体的细胞失去了自我修复的能力，使我们容易受到心血管疾病和其他与年龄相关的大约三分之二的病症的伤害。

“我的计划的最终目标是将某人的个性转变成一个全新的机构，”

“那么那么你可以说这样的人是有远见的，但不是生气，因为这意味着你想到的东西是不可能的，事实并非如此."

When translated, we find a detailed discussion on death, which leads into human transformation. It is also a bit confusing towards the end, which I’m sure is just Google Translate being Google Translate.

This time however, no music videos were given at all. When I saw that there was none for the first time, I was a bit surprised. With a handful of videos in previous album releases, I was pretty sure there would be at least one that may answer some questions or give some closure to everything we’ve been through with b e g o t t e n 自杀. But nope, just 14 tracks.

I think this was a good move though and kind of wraps up with the ending of the whole Dennis / b e g o t t e n 自杀 saga quite well…

Upon the release of (new aura) - 新时代, Dennis was saddened that this would be the final piece. He knew not whether the world would ever see another album from begotten, but he did not want to dwell on it being over. Dennis would’ve rather dwelled on the emotion and satisfaction that this music would provide.

If you remember when Dennis released the 4th album, he stated that he had actually received another email from b e g o t t e n 自杀 thanking him for doing their releases. At the time, he couldn't think of what he wanted to say in return, and Dennis admits on the Bandcamp page for (new aura) - 新时代 that he kind of just rushed a reply in the end asking who they were and some other personal questions. It wasn't until several weeks later after all of the emails that he received an answer to his questions. It read:

"Do you really want to know who I am?"

At first, Dennis was a little mad at this response:

Why would I ask if I wasn't sure that I wanted to know who they were? But when I opened a reply email and began to type, I stopped myself. Did I really want to know? Would I be able to appreciate the music all the same if I knew the name of the person behind it all? Would it change anything?

Dennis of Geometric Lullaby

Dennis would take a few days to consider this, he knew he did not want to rush it. Whoever b e g o t t e n 自杀 was, they had trusted him with their expression. They had trusted him with their art. Dennis recalls saying:

Would it be disrespectful to say that, yes, in fact, I really wanted to know who they were? These things weighed heavily on my mind and I started to feel anxious about the entire situation. I stopped eating. I started sleeping longer each day and I began to have vivid dreams. It was impossible to tell how connected (or not) that all of this was to b e g o t t e n 自杀.

Dennis of Geometric Lullaby

In the end, after countless hours of balancing options in his head like placing coins on the plates of a scale, Dennis had finally come to a decision. He opened up an email with confidence and hit reply. In the body of the email, he simply wrote:

"You are begotten and that is all that matters to me. Thank you for trusting me."

He hit send and smiled. He then played the entire discography from beginning to end, closing his eyes and allowing it all to take him away.

Dennis no longer checked his email, constantly refreshing in hopes of a message. He had finally found the closure he had been looking for. It was never about the person behind the music, but the feeling, emotion, and atmosphere. It was about the realms to which it brought him, allowing Dennis to escape his own life, if even for a moment. he could finally fully enjoy what he had been given.

Dennis was finally at peace.

The tale of b e g o t t e n 自杀, and Dennis’ experience with the producer, is a tale we all go through in this day and age with music. I know for myself and many others who are heavily involved in the Vaporwave scene and community, there is a lot of music we love and adore from people we simply do not know. As our scene in particular has gotten closer in these past couple of years, with live shows and online shows and what not, there was a time when everything was a bit more unknown. Artists’ and aliases being able to paint even more vivid imaginations in your head of who they were and what they were all about. It’s easy to fall in love with narratives given with albums, artwork that helps you get to that set place and time the album seems like it would be in. But beyond the stories, beyond the settings, the most important thing will always be the music, the sounds, which can always be experienced bare of any context.

Nothing crazy happened in the end between Dennis and b e g o t t e n 自杀, Dennis was given this package of digital albums and just did what he thought was best with them. He never was able to find out if everything was a hoax or if this person was who they seemed to be. And in the end, he had the option to potentially figure it all out, but to Dennis, the music just seemed to be more important. Plain and simple.

Today, b e g o t t e n 自杀 is still listened to by many throughout the internet, some claiming the mysterious producer to be their favorite Vaporwave artist of all time.

But, what about our question: is b e g o t t e n 自杀 real? Fake? Is Dennis b e g o t t e n 自杀?

You know what, I’ll let you do your own digging on that one. Sometimes a mystery is best kept a mystery, but as always, it’s always up to you, my friend.

Although I really do wonder…who was in that car in the graveyard?

If you haven’t listened to the b e g o t t e n 自杀 releases yet, I highly recommend doing so, the music is so rich with or without the pairing of the b e g o t t e n 自杀 story. Thank you for joining me on this wild ride, and until next time…

Much love,

ur boi,

Pad Chennington

Also known as "Youtube's Vaporwave Valedictorian", Pad Chennington is a content creator who has created a substantial following on YouTube for his videos discussing all things Vaporwave. Starting in the Fall of 2017, Pad's videos range from reviews to breakdowns, interviews to unboxings, and much more, always revolving around odd and interesting music genres found throughout the internet. Pad has also recently released an album in February titled "CONTRAST", available as a free download via the My Pet Flamingo label.

BEGOTTEN: A Disturbing Online Music Mystery

BEGOTTEN:
A Disturbing Online Music Mystery

WARNING: This article contains material not suitable for a younger audience. The following content and subject matter may be disturbing to some viewers.

I want to showcase everything that was sent to Dennis that day as best as I possibly could so the story of b e g o t t e n 自杀 can be shared as truthfully as possible.

Discretion is advised.

In 2017, an online music label known as Geometric Lullaby would create a thread on a forum in efforts to find new artists for their label. The label’s motto: A collection of songs about life and death.

They received a solid amount of responses but one response in particular stood out. What would happen next would not only change the label forever, but would introduce an entire online music scene to a series of six album releases shrouded in tragedy. All of this, paired with the chilling events we will learn about today, provides us with the ultimate case to solve… Just who is b e g o t t e n 自杀 ?

The story of b e g o t t e n 自杀 is absolutely massive and I believe it will be better to space the story out into multiple parts instead of having it all as one super long article. I plan on working on part two of this story as soon as I can so make sure you check on back here every once in a while.

So, our story today will focus on two people and the limited exchanges they’ve had: Dennis, the label owner of Geometric Lullaby, and obviously, the artist known as b e g o t t e n 自杀. As mentioned earlier, in 2017 Dennis would create a thread online in search of new artists for his label. A bizarre email from someone claiming to be from Azerbaijan, a small country just north of Iran, caught the eye of Dennis. The amount of material and what this email consisted of, was quite shocking.

Upon opening the email, Dennis noticed that the artist had already set up their own Bandcamp page with all of the covers and album names, each however, without any of the actual music.

The first reason this all caught the eye of Dennis was that he was sent six full albums, all at once, with each release set to go live on Halloween for every year going forward until 2022.

Aside from the music, the email also contained a series of music videos. These videos were eerie, haunting, dreamy, yet intoxicating and beautiful. Dennis says how the artist managed to make these videos so relaxing, all while at the same time putting him on edge, still baffles him to this very day.

And last, the text sent with the emails. What Dennis read from b e g o t t e n 自杀 was so bizarre, he just didn't know what to make of it. Each album had the title listed and track names (all of which included Chinese) and a block of Chinese text.

Dennis is still unable to understand the meaning of this text, or the reason for the Chinese language if they truly are from Azerbaijan. Some of it translates to almost a suicide note, while other parts sound like a story that they can't quite piece together.

Also included was a series of some of the most heart-wrenching poetry you could ever read paired with music. If you go to the artist's Bandcamp, you can read each of them right now, along with the album covers and titles. A lot of them are hard to read. They sound like someone who is in a dark place in their life. Dennis remembers all of this intriguing him without even hearing any of the albums yet.

Being hit with all of this at once, it was finally time for Dennis to download and listen to the music sent through the email. And, aside from the imagery, poetry, mysterious text and music videos, Dennis would soon discover a collection of albums unlike any other.

The music was dreamy and atmospheric, haunting yet relaxing, eerie but beautiful all at the same time. But most of all, it was extremely sad. Dennis found himself listening to every album, all six, from front to back twice as soon as he started them.

The multiple languages found in the samples selected tell a dark and depressive story, set against the backdrop of unbearable loneliness. Each release varies in mood from romantic inspired Vaporwave flips to darker trap beats and everything else in between. You’ll find sample work ranging from crystal clear and sharp as a knife to cloudy and incomprehensible, a smokescreen that suffocates us from the sound alone. Added chords and production techniques all evolve the original samples in such a riveting way with the emotional and worrisome narrative enriched into these songs

Dennis knew he had to be the one to release these albums.

After attempting to contact the artist back for over three months, Dennis would finally get a reply. It simply read: “Please release. Send me address.” Dennis immediately compiled everything he needed and sent the first album off for dubbing. Obviously, there was some doubt in all of this. Just who is this person? Why are they sitting on six albums of material as well as music videos to go along with them? Are they really from Azerbaijan? Dennis wondered if he should be worried about what was being said in the text from these releases, should he try and get this person help? Or, is this all a hoax or a prank? Or, is it simply someone trying to create just another creepy music alias on Bandcamp?

“Are these albums an intricate call for help? I just sincerely hope that this person is okay. They have created something unique and have a perspective on things that I can really connect with. I feel selfish, but I want more albums and expression from this individual. I hope you all enjoy it as much as I.”

Dennis, Owner of Geometric Lullaby

Dennis’ doubts about the location of b e g o t t e n 自杀 would eventually lessen when a mysterious package arrived in his mailbox, addressed from, where else, but Azerbaijan. The box contained only 25 copies of a J-card for cassettes of the first album known as “(life cycle) - 生命週期”, each with the word “Death” scribbled on front (for those who do not know, a J-card is the artwork insert placed in cassette cases).

Shortly after this is when we would see these albums begin to gradually emerge online, with the first one released on the label’s Bandcamp page on March 12th, 2018. I want to explore each release with you, going in order from when they were released on Geometric Lullaby and what was going on at that time in the saga of events between Dennis and b e g o t t e n 自杀.

Let us begin.

b e g o t t e n 自杀’s 1st album: (life cycle) - 生命週期 [March 12, 2018 / GEO - 005]

(life cycle) - 生命週期 would be the first b e g o t t e n 自杀 album that would see the dark of night on the internet. Music videos were also included in the original email from b e g o t t e n 自杀 for the album's title track (longing) - 渴望 and for the album’s 4th track (life) - 生活. These music videos, which contain nothing but low quality shots of skeletons, were the first of many to emerge on Geometric Lullaby from the series of footage sent over from b e g o t t e n 自杀 in the original email.

Every b e g o t t e n 自杀 music video gives off this vibe of decayed VHS, this sort of “Candle Cove” aura for those who remember when that whole thing was a craze on the internet.

(life cycle) - 生命週期 would consist of ten tracks, a very exciting and animated vaportrap release right out the gates for b e g o t t e n 自杀, all while still being hazy and lethargic with it’s wonderful use of textures and uncanny sound effects like the cry of the penguin you race in Super Mario 64 that is missing it’s baby. Manipulating R&B tracks and moody hip hop selections that fizzle out into these weird outer body climaxes are simply stunning and Dennis choosing this as the first b e g o t t e n 自杀 release to put on the label, besides the fact that this was the first release in the chronological timeline provided by b e g o t t e n 自杀, was the perfect move. (life cycle) - 生命週期 is the ultimate entrance into the labyrinth of b e g o t t e n 自杀’s mind.

As mentioned earlier, each release was accompanied by text and poetry. Here is what was given from that email sent to Dennis for this first album:

"If love is a gift then I am luckier than most

I am showered with more than anyone could hope

Only I cannot accept them with open arms or a smile

I push everyone away from me, neverending denial

It hurts to exist

It is painful to live

My wrists show the struggle of my emptiness

Just once I want to express myself right

To be honest to those who deserve so and cry

To bleed my own blood not for me, not my life

But someone who needs it, just once before I die

No more lies...

And when I'm gone from this life, I'll look down in surpise

The world keeps on turning, not a cloud in the sky

Without me it's better and less filled with hate

Because now I am gone, buried deep in a grave.

Lay me down and close my eyes. Send me off into the night."

b e g o t t e n 自杀

Here was the Chinese text also sent to Dennis with the album. Translate these at your own discretion as some of these texts can get pretty heavy:

我真的很想去杀我自己，因为没有人需要我在这里，没有人要我在这里，没人在乎，我没有在线离线的朋友，我不爱我的家人，没有任何人理解我，我是一个失败，只是浪费钱/食物，更多我可以列出

所以我在这个旅行的合唱团，但是是夏天，但有像冬天般的天气。旅游地点有点糟糕，因为我曾经住过（约3000人，充满吸毒者）。我记得走到温迪的一个场所（没有我住过的地方），但这个标志就像“老兵酒吧”那样庆祝老将。我走进去，我没有钱，也没有我的朋友，但是一位老太太说：“哦，我不在乎，你还会在这么美好的一天去冰淇淋。”然后我被我的合唱团中的男中音拉开，我完全迷失在感觉像一个梦幻般的颜色和建筑物的模糊。

我所说的是冬季天气的原因是因为在上一部分末尾的幽灵段下雨，我用身体遮挡我的东西在雨中不被弄湿。即使这次旅行持续了几个小时，我想（不记得有关旅行的细节，也没有看到我的老师或任何同学以外的男高音和男中音）。我终于得到了不公平的，在一条我很熟悉的街道上。我头脑里有一个想法：我要去这个城里的朋友家去拜访，这是我去过他们家的唯一的朋友，和他一起睡觉。所以当我到了他的房子（我像火影忍者那样跑了30分钟，而不是坐公共汽车），到了他的房子，他是真的不同。有意义的是，我想：“在3.5年的时间里，我们分开了，我发现了一种幽默幽默感，他有一种脚痛，痴迷于水獭”

但等等还有更多

我进了他的房子，他没有像上次那样的狗，但他比以前有5个兄弟姐妹。我记得的是，我问他的父母在哪里，他的父亲说“哦，Skyler发现如何把自己变成水獭，所以他在浴室里有一些”私人时间“，这对他来说非常伤心”，而我可以听到非常非常大声的浴室呻吟声。我在汗水中醒来，低声想死

Each of these albums, when sent to Dennis, would be tagged as “hushwave” on Bandcamp, as well as the title of the second album released from b e g o t t e n 自杀. Dennis isn’t sure if this is the genre they came up with for their sound, but to him, it fits perfectly.

(life cycle) - 生命週期 would be released on a limited edition ruby red cassette with the first 25 orders containing that j-card “signed” by the artist. Side note: all of the b e g o t t e n 自杀 releases would eventually be re-released by Geometric Lullaby in a beautiful box-set collection on October 14th 2019. There were two variants of this box set, the Ghoul edition and the Ghost edition. These were released to the public with an unknown amount and, as expected, sold out ridiculously quickly due to b e g o t t e n 自杀’s status in the community and their beloved work.

b e g o t t e n 自杀’s 2nd album: (hushwave) - 治愈它 [June 11, 2018 / GEO - 010]

“This release was a little unsettling to me at first. It takes a different direction than the first album, in that, it achieves being both more haunting and creepy, while at the same time being more beautiful and relaxing. It seems that this release uses all female vocal samples, which adds to the airy and ghost-like soundscapes it creates. The songs conjure a thick fog of atmosphere and uncertainty, vaporous in its release, like the depiction on the cover.

I believe this album is a perfect culmination of what the artist was trying to get across with their tag "hushwave" that I have never heard before.”

Dennis, Owner of Geometric Lullaby

Up until this release, Dennis attempted countless times to contact b e g o t t e n 自杀 by email, even at the cost of spamming the original email address from which the albums were sent. Besides the initial email, the email asking for Dennis’ address, and the package that was sent from Azerbaijan, Dennis had yet to receive any sort of contact or response from b e g o t t e n 自杀. He began to believe all hope was lost in ever contacting this person again. That was, until, Dennis got a letter in the mail just three weeks before the release of b e g o t t e n 自杀’s 2nd album on the label.

The envelope was a beige color with the address, both sending and return, printed from what seemed to be a typewriter. Dennis had no idea who it was from, as the sender's name was typed as "B. D. W." and the address was from somewhere in the middle of Georgia (the state, not the country). The address seemed to have some significance but more on this in a bit.

Woozy and distant, the tones explored in b e g o t t e n 自杀’s second album (hushwave) - 治愈它 are enchanting on a whole 'nother level. Most of the tracks on here are just echoed vocals paired with some stretched out synths or reverb flooded piano keys. (hushwave) - 治愈它 is b e g o t t e n 自杀’s most minimalistic album in the series with the most animated track being all the way at the end of the album. The ending of that track, titled (hidden) - 隐藏, shifts the mood into this almost silly, Halloween-like jingle that feels a bit uneasy due to the ironically innocent sounding “spookiness” it has.

Here was the poem that came with this album:

"A step too far and I find my way

Falling to my knees because the emptiness remains

The lights are so bright, I must close my eyes

I indulge once more as tears fall and she cries

Life is a burden I cannot bear

The barrel of a gun, a blank-eyed stare

Razor blade on the mantle, a cup full of pills

I tried everything once but nothing fulfills

Scars on my arms, self-mutilation, perhaps

I could get out of bed now, but rather take another nap

Scared to death of death itself and nowhere to turn

I hope I find solace before it's too late to learn."

b e g o t t e n 自杀

The album would also come with two music videos in the original email, one for the song (insomnia) - 失眠 and one for the song (ghost) - 鬼白

The music videos feature these weird masked figures flailing and dancing around, every couple of seconds staring off and seeming to almost lose control of their bodies.

For fans of relaxing Vaporwave or Slushwave, this release is perfect for you. A big chunk of the b e g o t t e n 自杀 tracks we’ve gotten over the years feel so sensual at times, and this album is one of the best examples. It’s weird, if you didn’t know the backstory of these albums and what went into all of this, some of these releases would probably be super laidback and relaxing. Problem is, once you know, you know and you can’t avoid the horrific energy surrounding the b e g o t t e n 自杀 releases.

Here was the Chinese text provided for this release, when translated, seems to make no sense at all in relation to the album, track titles, artwork or anything:

这是通过应用物理和气象学原理来预测天气。天气预报预测了由大气条件（雪和冰覆盖，暴风雨，洪水等）引起的地球表面的大气现象和变化。科学天气预报依赖于经验和统计技术，如温度，湿度，大气压力，风速和方向以及降水的测量，以及计算机控制的数学模型。

So... back to the envelope.

After Dennis picked up the strange letter he went back into his apartment and opened it, curious, but thinking nothing of it at the time. What ended up being inside sent shivers down his spine; another envelope. This one was badly damaged. The addresses were written in red ink... and the return address?

Baku, Azerbaijan.

Dennis recalls nearly dropping the envelope. He cut it open carefully, his hands were shaking. Inside, there was a single card, thicker than paper. It read "You're Invited," in big cursive letters. Below, there looked to be a fingerprint in red ink, or possibly blood. An address was given, again, in Georgia. At the bottom, scribbled hastily was the word begotten.

And that was it. No date or details on what he was being invited to.

Dennis pulled up Google on his computer and looked up the first address from the outer envelope. That was when he got a little scared. The address was a state mental institution in Georgia. The building looked old and worn down, but according to Google, it was still active. His breathing shortened and he had to pinch himself wondering if he was in some sort of horror movie.

Next, Dennis looked up the address from the "You're Invited" card and nothing came up at all. He searched for a while to no avail and decided to download Google Earth. He pulled up the exact address and zoomed in to find a small graveyard with several mausoleums in central Georgia. He looked back at the card and decided that it was definitely blood leaving the fingerprint, not red ink.

At this point, Dennis took a moment to stop and absorb everything that was happening. He came up with four conclusions on what could possibly be going on with whoever this b e g o t t e n 自杀 person is:

Someone was pranking him from the start and this whole thing was just one big hoax.
Someone just started pranking him after the first release. They saw the first story and were now trying to feed off of the mystery.
b e g o t t e n 自杀 is actually someone living in Georgia, possibly in the mental institution. They used the Azerbaijan address as a decoy.
b e g o t t e n 自杀 is actually in Azerbaijan and is, for some reason, using this person in Georgia as a middleman. They sent them the original letter, which was then forwarded to Dennis in another envelope.

Dennis’ mind was flooded with questions: should they have the blood tested for DNA? Should he go to either of the addresses in Georgia? Or possibly try and find someone to go there for him since he lived in a completely different state?

Whatever his next move was, he knew that he needed to continue the release of these albums. Next up would be b e g o t t e n 自杀’s third album, the one many consider to be the darkest of them all.

----------

As mentioned earlier, I believe it will be better to space these articles out instead of having the story all put out as one super long read. That being said, I think this is a good place to stop before we open up a whole new can of worms with the third album.

We’ll talk again soon.

Until we meet again for our next deep dive into fascinating music…

Much love,

Ur boi,

Pad Chennington

Also known as "Youtube's Vaporwave Valedictorian", Pad Chennington is a content creator who has created a substantial following on YouTube for his videos discussing all things Vaporwave. Starting in the Fall of 2017, Pad's videos range from reviews to breakdowns, interviews to unboxings, and much more, always revolving around odd and interesting music genres found throughout the internet. Pad has also recently released an album in February titled "CONTRAST", available as a free download via the My Pet Flamingo label.

EMPLOYEE SPOTLIGHT: PLAMEN STAMATOV

EMPLOYEE SPOTLIGHT:
PLAMEN STAMATOV

WHAT'S YOUR ROLE AT VAPOR95?

Hey! My name is Plamen Stamatov, I'm 25 years old and from Sliven, Bulgaria. I've been living in Plovdiv, Bulgaria for the last four years. I am the Lead Graphic & 3D Design Specialist at Vapor95.

WHAT DO YOUR DAY-TO-DAY OPERATIONS LOOK LIKE AND WHAT'S YOUR SCHEDULE USUALLY THROUGH THE DAY?

I coordinate the design department of Vapor95. A big part of my day-to-day is launching new designs and collection products, creating mockups, and making sure all print files work correctly with the printing machines. I also manage the products and collections on the website and create 3D renders for site graphics like sales banners, special pop-ups, and photo edits. In addition to this, I work on ads for our massive social media ad campaigns.

We recently launched an iOS and Android app, and are working to make it even better. Front and Backend. I'm responsible for the pitch deck presentations and wholesale catalog that we share with our partners. In my spare time, I'm also trying to create new designs, exclusively for Vapor95, but it's not a priority because we are collaborating with the most amazing artists around the world.

WHAT DID YOU DO BEFORE VAPOR95?

Four years ago, I was working as a freelance graphic designer. I didn't have any web, 3D design, or marketing knowledge so I had to find a way to do what I love in the right way. I came up with the idea to create something super cool for Photoshop. You may know about the Photoshop Actions, but for those who don't, Photoshop Actions are like macros that perform predefined functions. You just upload a photo in Photoshop and run the Action, and with zero knowledge you can have a super cool edited photo.

That sounded kind of boring for me. I wanted to do an Animated Parallax Tool Kit Photoshop Action. I successfully created it and sold the Action in a large marketplace called Envato. It became a bestselling Action in its category, was trending, and got featured in a lot of articles in Envato's forum.

How it Works:

So basically, you just upload the photo and with a few clicks and zero knowledge you can have a super cool Animated Parallax photo effect in .gif or .mp4 format, ready to post for Insta or Facebook. The effect is easy to do in After Effects, but it was a hell of a challenge for Photoshop. I figured it out and made it, and then a lot of people copied my idea and created their versions of this effect. I can say this Action is first on the market for Photoshop. It didn't get a lot of sales, of course, because I didn't have any followers and popularity, but it reached number one and all ratings were 5/5. I didn't continue to develop my account to create other sick actions. You will find out why in the next question.

Here is the trailer I made in After Effects about my product for Photoshop:

HOW DID YOU END UP WORKING WITH VAPOR95?

First of all, I want to say that I'm a big fan of sci/fi games and movies. My favorite sci/fi movie based on proven physics is Interstellar. I love Hans Zimmer music and Matthew McConaughey as an actor. I'm also a fan of old school movies like the Back To The Future Trilogy. Every autumn/winter, I do a movie marathon with my lovely girlfriend and we watch Back To The Future (in one day) and Harry Potter (in 3 days).

Furthermore, I found the Vaporwave/Synthwave movement which is not very popular in Bulgaria yet, but it's evolving. So with my modest skills, I created a vaporwave/synthwave artwork featuring my favorite car from BTTF: The DeLorean.

I shared this on my FB profile and it went viral. A lot of big Facebook art pages and groups shared my work, including Vaporwave Sadposting and it got thousands of likes and shares. It was featured on a lot of websites doing Top 10, also Android/iOS apps for inspiring arts and wallpapers.

The CEO of Vapor95 saw that the post was super popular and messaged me that he wanted me on the team for a test period and I got paid per task done. I actually started at Vapor95 maybe a couple of months after Vapor95 launched. Six to ten months later, I got the full-time job and four years later, we are here: the most popular Vaporwave clothing brand in the world with the very first vaporwave physical store in Los Angeles.

COULD YOU TELL US MORE ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE CREATING/WORKING ON RIGHT NOW?

Right now, I'm working on expanding the designs throughout the collections, as well as launching new creator collaborations. I have the honor to work with the most talented artists in the world like: Vektroid/Ramona to launch my design called 'Macintosh Plus Limited Edition', as well as Vinne Art, Tokyo Direct, Seerlight, Nemupan, Mizucat, Chronos & Vermillion, Legion Trash Art, Beachghost, KO, Lordess Foudre, Elias Bracho, Virtual Plaza, Caleb Finn, Virtua Apparatus, and Mr. Melville. One of my favorite projects I have done is launching the officially licensed Pink Floyd designs. Insane.

You can expect to see additional collections and design growth from Vapor95 in the near future.

Do you like the new Vapor95 home page desktop banner? Here's how it looked like when I was working on it!

WHAT HAS BEEN YOUR FAVORITE PART ABOUT WORKING AT VAPOR95?

Since I'm working remotely from Bulgaria, the best part is the communication with the rest of the team. We all work so smoothly and with this new and modern era of technology, it doesn't matter if you manage the servers, printing machines, website or everything in between, we communicate well regardless of where we're located. Without good communication, this wouldn't happen.

WHO OR WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO GET INTO DESIGN?

I have always been interested in web/graphic/3D design, marketing, social media and more.

WHERE DO YOU SEE YOURSELF & VAPOR95 IN FIVE YEARS?

We should try to expand to have manufacturers in Europe, for faster delivery outside of the United States but maintain American handmade quality.

More Vapor95 Physical and Virtual Reality stores. 🤫

I also have the ambition to develop a V95 Cryptocurrency Token. 🤫

CAN YOU TELL US THREE THINGS YOU WOULD CONSIDER "INSPIRING ART"? IT CAN BE ANY MEDIUM (PHOTOGRAPHY, 3D DESIGN, FILM, MUSIC, WRITING, ETC.).

Recently I love the work of the following people:

Dizzy Viper, a 3D/Graphic artist

SNTHWVRS, a Music Producer

Andrew Kramer, a VFX Motion Designer

WHAT ADVICE DO YOU HAVE FOR SOMEONE WHO WANTS TO WORK IN A CREATIVE FIELD LIKE DESIGN AND ART?

Never count on school and university 100%. They only provide you with the basics of what you need to know. They show you how to be social and teach you to talk in front of an audience and work in little group projects. If you really want to be a successful artist, it doesn't matter in what genre or area of development, just believe in you and make other people believe in you, but not just in your words.

Get things done and do what you love to do. It is a myth that people who work on computers are paid highly. There are a lot of parents forcing their kids to start courses for specific careers because they "have heard they pay well". Please future moms and dads: never force your kids. Please future artists: do what you do the best and do it right with a smile on your face! Things are going to happen for you. I promise.

IF YOU HAD TO CHOOSE, WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DESIGN AT VAPOR95, WHY?

I like the Nemesis Hoodie because it's black and has an Alien head on the back side. Maybe we should launch more cyber-alien-vaporwave stuff?

Anguis Mortem is a cool and weird shirt. I love it.

I love Cybervision and all Vinne Art stuff because I love dark and energetic cyberpunk/synthwave/vaporwave designs.

YOU WORK REMOTELY AT VAPOR95, AS DO OTHERS ON THE TEAM, IF YOU HAD TO PLAN AN EMPLOYEE GET TOGETHER, WHAT WOULD WE DO? WHERE WOULD WE GO?

We can do a teambuilding experience on Mars. Just wait for Mr. Elon Musk and his workers to finish the Starship. It's going to be extraordinary and cool.

IF YOU HAD TO LISTEN TO ONE SONG FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

I can't choose between No Time For Caution or Stay by Hans Zimmer. Okay, maybe I like No Time For Caution a little bit more.

WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO IN YOUR FREE TIME?

In my spare time, I love to hang out with friends. I love to travel, but that's a big problem, especially this year. I love to watch sci-fi, mind-bending movies and play PC games with friends. Still waiting for Diablo 4, but it's not coming anytime soon, not even Blizzard soon. I also like to listen to Dubstep-Riddim music when I'm working. I love to talk about conspiracies, the future, Artificial Intelligence (the positive side of it), Tesla cars, SpaceX, and the upcoming mission to Mars. Love everything related to Aliens. I love to explore new stuff.

How do I have time for all this? Actually, I don't know. Maybe the right work with the right people taught me the best way to schedule and manage my tasks!

WHO IS THE PERSON YOU ADMIRE THE MOST?

Elon Musk, for sure.

IF YOU HAD ONE LAST WISH, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

When it becomes a widespread and accessible practice, I would like to have the opportunity and the necessary funds to take my girl to Earth's orbit. I'm sure it will be a normal thing in the next ten to twenty years.

Here are some of Plamen's favorite artworks he's created:

The Birth, Death and Resurrection of Tamagotchi

If you didn’t live through the '90s, you probably missed one of the biggest technological fads in recent human history. In this blog, we’ll be taking a look into Tamagotchi, the fad that took the mid '90s by storm and died a premature death shortly after.

What Was Tamagotchi?

Put simply, Tamagotchi was a tiny plastic egg with a black and white display and three unmarked buttons. In this plastic universe, there lived a digital pet that required care and attention, much like a real pet. Tamagotchi pets required feeding, loving attention, watering, and the occasional poop clean-up.

According to their origin story, Tamagotchi pets are alien beings, who required their plastic cases to remain safe from the Earth’s atmosphere. These pets would routinely alert you to their needs, at practically any time of day or night and should they be left unattended for too long, you could quite literally return to a dead Tamagotchi.

True heartbreak for any child of the '90s.

How it originated

Tamagotchi pets originally found life in the minds of Aki Maita of Bandai and Yokoi Akihiro, who worked for WiZ, a company that specialized in animations and toys. Interestingly, Maita wasn’t a toy designer at Bandai originally, but instead worked as an office manager, presumably helping with HR and logistics.

As the story goes, inspiration struck one day as she was watching TV and she felt the desire to create a pet that children could take with them anywhere and care for at all times. She brought her idea to Yokoi, who helped with the design process and even helped her shape the origin story for Tamagotchi.

How it became popular

Once an initial design was agreed upon, Maita did an incredible amount of groundwork to ensure that Tamagotchi would provide the maximal amount of entertainment and joy for children. Maita took several hundred prototype Tamagotchi pets into the High Schools of Shibuya. Then, they distributed them to high school girls, who she thought would be the primary demographic for the pets.

Once distributed, Maita conducted several surveys to fine-tune Tamagotchi pets into the powerhouses they would soon become. In November of 1996, Tamagotchi was launched in Japan and shortly after that, they took over the world.

Why Was Tamagotchi Such a Hit?

It's crazy to think that in a time where technological entertainment was advancing so steadily that something as comparatively simple as a Tamagotchi would become as popular as it did. By the time the Tamagotchi began its invasion of American shores, Gameboy, Nintendo 64, Super Nintendo, and PlayStation 1 had all been released at this point.

Titles such as Super Mario 64, Pilot Wings, Mortal Kombat, Resident Evil, Tomb Raider and Crash Bandicoot had all been released and were thriving. One would think that these titles alone would be enough to satisfy the technological or entertainment cravings of any mid '90s teenager.

However, Tamagotchi offered a type of entertainment and development that was entirely separated from an action or adventure genre.

Tamagotchi Provided the Illusion of Life

For those of us who lived through the '90s or were born before it, we’re probably all too familiar with the attachment we developed to our stuffed toys and action figures. We spent hours playing, constructing story lines, building “houses” and “neighborhoods” for them to live in with pillows and Barbie houses and anything else we could dream up.

We wanted them to live.

Taken out of context, that could seem extremely creepy, but these toys were already very much alive in our minds. The only thing cooler than acting out those stories would have been our toys being able to interact with us as a pet would.

Tamagotchi filled this childhood void, by pretty accurately simulating the demands of a real-life pet. This effect was amplified by the fact that Tamagotchi pets' needs would have to be addressed at seemingly random times, the same as a real-life pet.

Finite Lifespans Heightened Emotional Attachments

So long as you could keep your Tamagotchi functioning, you could theoretically play and engage with new pets for an eternity. However, each individual pet’s life lasted only a finite amount of time. In modern Tamagotchi pets, lifespans can technically be infinite, so long as users avoid making mistakes in caring for their pets.

The average Tamagotchi of the past, however, would last 12 days or less. Which in effect made every moment we spent with them that much more precious. Every beep for food or play or cleanups meant a little bit more, since there was a chance that it could be the last one for that particular pet.

If Tamagotchi was So Popular, why did it die out?

The exact reason why Tamagotchi died out is still up for debate. There were several contributing factors, but one of the most commonly cited was the fact that they were so damned hard to keep alive for the average kid. Once the rush from being part of the trend died down and children began interacting with their virtual pets in depth, frustration became a common part of the experience.

Given their widespread popularity, many schools in the USA also moved to have them banned for a number of reasons. Most markedly was the simple distraction from the school curriculum. This resulted in a significant amount of cultural upheaval in the suburbs as parents were taking on the additional task of keeping their children's pets alive since they could no longer take them to school.

It’s safe to say that Tamagotchi didn’t die a pretty death…

If you’re Feeling Nostalgic, There’s good News

On a brighter note, there is some good news for those of you who are now feeling that pang of nostalgic hunger. Tamagotchi was recently re-released as a larger, full color version with more functionality than its black and white predecessor.

The new Tamagotchi On allows you to customize your Tama, raise them to adulthood, marry them and give rise to new generations of Tama who are combinations of their parents. There’s even an app that goes with it, allowing for connection with other Tama parents and fun minigames.

ARTIST SPOTLIGHT: SEERLIGHT

We're so happy to feature you on our darknet blog since you've been collaborating with us on designs! Tell us a little bit about yourself and how long you've been doing art.

Thanks for having me! I've been drawing for the majority of my life. I've only gotten serious at it when I was around 17 and wanted to pursue a career in the game or animation industry. I was never hired anywhere but I did end up paving my own career through social media instead.

Tell us a little bit about the designs you've created in collaboration with Vapor95. What inspired these works? If you had to pick a favorite, which one would it be and why?

A lot of the artwork I do is inspired by anime and Lo-fi and Vaporwave aesthetics. I like to mash all the aesthetics I love into one piece. That's why all my work has small elements of anime, Lo-fi, Vaporwave, and sometimes Cyberpunk in them. If I had to choose a favorite, it'd probably be my Konohagakure piece (named Ramen Village on the site). It's just a favorite of mine.

Your style is incredible, inspired, but as original as they come. Please tell us about your artistic journey.

My style wasn't always just line art and flat colors like you see now. I used to do a lot of paintings with many textures and tried to make them look like oil paintings. I used to draw that way because I absolutely hated doing line art. But ever since I started experimenting with line art more, I've really leaned into it and enjoy it now.

Could you tell us more about what you're creating/working on right now?

Right now I'm working on various projects I can't talk about at the moment. But I'm always doing fan art of various series.

Do you listen to music while working on your art? If so, please share your favorite artists or albums with us!

Yes, I listen to a lot of Lo-fi and Chill music. Right now, my favorite artists are probably Powfu and LUND.

You are a world creator. Your designs look like they could be from animated feature films. Where do you get your inspiration from to build these worlds?

A lot of times they're actually fan art from anime series or films so that's no surprise! I like to take specific scenes or ideas from films and try to recreate it with my own spin.

Every artist faces days where they lack inspiration and drive to create. How do you deal with these moments?

When I'm not motivated, I simply take a break and do something else for a while. A lot of times, that's gaming or reading manga and watching shows. After I've had my fun, I'm usually ready to work again.

If you werenʼt an artist, what would you do for a living?

I'd probably end up being a pro gamer or something lowkey.

What is your ultimate dream to accomplish with your art? How do you see yourself at the highest point of your career?

The highest point I can imagine myself is having my work recognized by practically anyone who uses the internet.

Anyone who sees my work will instantly know it was made by "Seerlight".

If you could blast a text message to every phone on the planet to deliver one 160 character message, what would it say?

Boobs.

Finally, what would you say to up-and-coming artists who want to pursue their passion?

Take it easy. Don't force yourself to work more than you should. You should always be having fun with your work.

✨ SEERLIGHT ✨

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Seven Ways To Bring Some Aesthetics To Your Apartment

Apartment design usually seems like a really ambitious project. Repainting, relocating furniture, cleaning up before, cleaning up after. It’s probably seemed, for a long time, like something you can simply do later. Fortunately (or unfortunately) for you, we’ve all been forcefully given some extra time indoors. So, right now might be your best shot at actually getting some work done on your apartment.

Adding some style to your place doesn’t have to be a herculean undertaking though. There are a number of very simple things you can try to get that aesthetic look you’ve been searching for, without a ton of effort. Let’s take a look at a few of them.

Full disclosure: many of these come from Vapor95.com.

#1: Philips Hue Lighting

One of the most obvious considerations when redecorating an apartment is repainting. Painting your walls can create a dramatic change in the ambiance of your apartment. This isn’t just a weird psychological trick. There’s actually a scientific basis for why this works.

Physical objects have a tendency to absorb visible light and other parts of the electromagnetic spectrum. The color of an object is determined not by the colors they absorb, but by the colors they reflect or fail to absorb completely. So, an object that appears primarily red, is actually all colors but red.

Trippy? Yes, but core to understanding the next point.

The reason the “feel” of a room becomes cooler when you paint a wall blue, is because there’s slightly more blue light bouncing around the room now. This affects how you perceive things in the room, since the colors will appear slightly different.

This same effect can be achieved without all the effort of repainting an entire room by using the Philips Hue Lighting System. This system allows you to fully customize your lighting, switch colors when you’re bored, change the color and intensity for romantic ambiance, or even create epic shows that groove with your music.

#2: Heisei Accent Poster

The word “Heisei” refers to the period of time in Japanese history and culture which started in January of 1989 and ended on the 30th of April 2019, when Emperor Akihito abdicated from the Chrysanthemum throne. That probably sounds way too cool to be true but it’s a fact, not a video game story line.

This period in Japan’s history is characterized by a large expansion in the availability of technology and has thus promoted the spread of Japanese artwork and themes across the globe. This Heisei poster captures something of that period through its use of the color palette and a gun-wielding anime girl.
If you’re looking to add something unique to your room in addition to lighting, this is a solid choice. Given it’s use of color, this poster doesn’t even need lighting to be an accent.

#3: Gasmask Geisha Poster

In a weird juxtaposition of traditional culture, beauty, and modern warfare, the Gasmask Geisha can make an interesting accent piece in any room. There isn’t a ton of background info on the poster, though it clearly draws inspiration from anime-styled animation and even hints to some extent at the possibility of violence among the flirtatious musings of the geisha.

Being black and white, this poster can take on a number of tones and work well in pretty much any mood lighting you choose. It’ll also look stellar in a lighting music show.

You can find this poster here.

#4: Indoor, Desk or Tabletop Zen Garden

Regardless of how bland or boring your apartment may be, it’s hard to make a Zen garden flop. If you can afford to get a Zen garden sized for your apartment, setting one in front of the TV or as a centerpiece in your living room can be an incredible addition.

Zen gardens offer a ton of aesthetic value and make a significant contribute to a relaxed feeling in most apartments. If you can’t get a large garden, there are options for tabletop ones that offer similar value aesthetically. You can even make your own.

#5: Himalayan Salt Lamps

True Himalayan salt is harvested from the Khewra Salt mine in Pakistan. The salt here is argued to be millions of years old and gets its distinctive pink color from minerals found in the salt. Lamps made from this salt are believed to be healing in nature and provide a few benefits like:

Clean the air in your home
Soothe allergies
Increase feelings of well-being

While we cannot explore the veracity of these claims in this singular blog post, we can confirm that Himalayan Salt lamps, do lend an awesome, warming atmosphere simply by being placed in a room. If you’re hoping for a romantic movie evening or just good lighting for falling asleep, this is a solid bet.

#6: Miniature Cacti (And other easy to maintain plants)

Small cacti look cool. Nothing else need be said.

Jokes aside, a few well-placed plants can make a tremendous difference in any room, especially if they flower. Normally, the idea of taking care of something is a turn off, if you’re not a maintenance-oriented or care-giving person. The plants we suggest, however, are all easy to maintain and bloom without much difficulty.

They are perfect additions to our aesthetic list of easy things to do to make your apartment a cooler place.

Low maintenance plants in order of coolness:

#7: Cross Room Themes

Cross room themes can be a good way to add some consistency to your apartment and “extend” an aesthetic to multiple places. Take for example the Scanset blanket and beach towel from our site. If your room and bathroom have similar base colors (like beige or white walls), then having this design as a center piece can catch your eye and fill the space nicely.

The best part of using a blanket or towel as a center piece besides the practicality of them, is their cost. Buying a blanket for room aesthetics is far cheaper than repainting and takes way less time to get set up. At the worst, you’ll actually have to make your bed to maximize your aesthetic. Not a bad way to start a good habit.

This combo can be replicated with many of the designs found on our site, since our blankets and towels come in many designs. If you’re feeling ambitious or are just very committed to color, there are a number of posters and framed prints which also fit this aesthetic.

Enjoy!

ARTIST SPOTLIGHT: Post wook

ARTIST SPOTLIGHT
POST WOOK

We're so happy to feature you on our darknet blog! Tell us a little bit about yourself and how long you've been doing art.

Thank you! I am a full-time artist based in Los Angeles, California. My days are usually spent packaging up and placing orders, making art for clients, and making art for myself. I love going on hikes in the mountains here, and going to the beach. When I have free time, I prefer to spend it underwater scuba diving.

When did you start your artistic journey? And what made you dive into the world of collages?

I started making art as POST WOOK in June 2018, but I’ve been making collages here and there since I was 12. I don’t know exactly what sparked my interest in collage vs. other forms of art, but I enjoyed the process of cutting things out and pasting them more than learning how to draw or paint. My grandmother is a classically trained oil painter and after seeing how much time and effort she had to devote to her craft, I respected it but took my creative musings in a different direction. Oddly enough, we make similar art even if its a completely different
medium.

Please tell us about your creative process, how are your art pieces created? Where do you find the components of your works, are they also created by you?

I make my art on Photoshop now. In the early days way before POST WOOK, I used to cut out pictures and textures from magazines but found that Photoshop provides a way more compact and less messy outlet for what I want to do. I find my images all over the internet, and did a deep dive into copyright law before I started posting art publicly. The most important thing for finding art on the internet is making sure it's royalty free. Occasionally, my friends and followers who are photographers will send me their photos to use, and in the future I plan on getting a camera myself and taking some of my own photos to use as well.

How do the external world and current events influence your art and creativity?

I try not to make art solely based on current events but rather my feelings and emotions that derive themselves from whatever I’m seeing and feeling. Sometimes my emotions are inspired by current events, but I’m more so enthralled with the world around me.

Have you ever reflected on what draws you to surrealism? If so, what did you come up with?

I’ve always had an imaginative brain, and I didn’t realize how odd my worldview was until I started talking to other people about their perspectives. I’ve never gotten a medical opinion, but I’m almost positive I have synesthesia -- I can see and feel sounds in a way that I really can’t describe. My boyfriend is an audio engineer and sometimes when he’s putting something together I’ll describe it as ‘the smell of old leather’ or ‘ripping apart bubble wrap’ and he has no
idea what I’m talking about but it makes sense to me. When I look at people’s faces, they look much like Picasso’s cubism portraits which is why I tend to not use people in my art-- I never can find the place for them. When I listen to music, I see a world that looks like my art in a dynamic reality. I guess I make art that reflects the way I see things in a multi-layer, colorful and dysfunctionally functional world.

Could you tell us more about what you're creating/working on right now?

I’m very presently in an in-between phase with my clients, but I am doing a year-long project with the California-based, craft beer company Firestone Walker. I just wrapped up another year long project with the science and space publication, Inverse, and I’m currently working on a few projects I legally can’t discuss! But for myself, I’m planning on expanding my online store a bit more towards the end of summer to include new tapestries, blankets, and notebooks in addition to the maelstrom of prints that my followers and supporters love so dearly.

You have worked with big brands and musicians. Tell us about your favorite collaborations and the process of working with others.

This is such a good question! I really love working with Firestone Walker because the team is so laid back and fun to work with. I worked with Zillow in the very beginning of my career and that was also a very exciting project as well. I’ve been lucky enough to work with a lot of amazing clients though, it’s hard to pin down a specific project!

The process is just a lot of emails back and forth. It’s not super glamorous, now because of COVID it might be more zoom calls than anything else, but I’m usually just sitting on my couch taking notes and then revising projects. Depending on my direct and physical involvement in the project, something can be as hands-on as traveling for the brand and creating in-person content, or quite literally sitting on my couch revising it. With most things in entertainment, the big picture comes together once the project is finished and out in the public. That’s usually when
I can celebrate the triumph.

If you werenʼt an artist, what would you do for a living?

I actually loved my last day job and would do it again if I had to. I was an assistant for a private events team in a luxury hotel here in Los Angeles, and I really enjoyed that job. I’m an extrovert to my core and enjoy being around people and putting something together that makes them happy. I also love the logistics that go into event planning and execution, and the hospitality industry at large was the best industry (outside of art) that I’ve worked in.

What is your ultimate dream to accomplish with your art? How do you see yourself at the highest point of your career?

I really want to keep making an impact on the surrealism art world, and bring a new perspective to art. I’d love to see my art break into fashion at some point -- seeing my art on clothing in a runway show is definitely a goal of mine. I’d love to diversify outside of just digital art and start making more physical pieces for galleries and public art displays. I guess my tip top goal would be having my art as the display on the Los Angeles Convention Center, or to collaborate by name with a large brand like Gucci or Prada. I try not to think too much about the ‘means’ that lead to the ‘end’ because I’ve found that the path is always different that I anticipate.

Letʼs say you get full artistic freedom on a billboard on the busiest road in a huge city where millions will see your message. What would your message be? Any combo of words and images is fine.

Oh, I have so many things I could say. Before I even made art, I worked in politics and still have a deep affinity for reforming campaign finance because it can be a very dark place, so maybe ‘Overturn Citizens United’ -- or just ‘Vote’ if I’m taking the political route. Without words, I’d probably just make a nice landscape piece that portrays the surroundings of the billboard. I’m also a fan of abstract, almost troll-like art, so knowing me, I’d just put a big mirror on a billboard for no reason.

Finally, what would you say to up-and-coming artists who want to pursue their passion?

There’s so much! The most important thing is to think about the long term and your goals for the future. Invest in learning your craft as much as you can, and honing in your own style that sets you apart. Inspiration is great and can get you on your feet, but finding a new path to carve out will be far more helpful than trying to run someone out through their shadow. Google is a great resource for most questions, and you can learn a lot from different fields and people’s experiences. Become an expert in social media because the days of only getting recognition from galleries is over, and content is king.

Learn how to be your own agent and manager until you can find those people. I think all artists, not just visual artists, think there will be some superman that will do all of the logistical work for them so they can just make art. That might be true later, but learning how to be your own business manager will help you so much -- from correspondence with clients, to negotiating rates, managing a website, and organizing documents like contracts and tax documents. Art and business should go hand in hand if you want to succeed!

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Your Cyberpunk Summer Reading List

Cyberpunk:
Your Summer Reading List

Postmodern dystopia has fascinated Western Society for years now. Unlike Mad Max, where technological development ultimately destroys us, and we spend decades returning to our baser instincts, Cyberpunk is an aesthetic that explores another version of reality where our first world problems reduce us to a “low life” yet high-tech society whose primary focus is on sexual and drug indulgence.

Instead of living in a desert on minimal (and radioactive) food and water, we live in metropolitan society, with cybernetic body augmentation and (likely) machine overlords who moderate our behavior through drugs and access to holographic sex, I speculate.

Like me, you probably don’t actually understand in too much detail what Cyberpunk really is or what it stands for, so here’s a reading list to help get you caught up.

Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep by Philip K. Dick

The tricky thing with genres, especially ones as obscure as Cyberpunk, is that it's hard to find a point at which the genre becomes a unified whole. Cyberpunk effectively emerged from a movement known as the “New Wave Science Fiction movement”, which explored the impacts of drug culture, the sexual revolution, and the integration of technology into society.

The New Wave Science Fiction Movement made a distinct break from the traditional archetypes of storytelling and began exploring a more somber side of human nature. Writers who pushed the genre emphasized the exploration of “psycho-literary ideas, more meta-biological and meta-chemical concepts, private time systems, synthetic psychologies and space-times, more of the somber-half-worlds one glimpses in the paintings of schizophrenics.”

Though it wasn’t the work that solidified Cyberpunk as a genre, Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep, would hold every characteristic that would come to define the Cyberpunk genre. This masterpiece, written by Phillip K Dick, is set in a dystopian, post-apocalyptic San Francisco and follows anti-hero Deckard as he hunts rogue androids known as “replicants”.

These androids were originally given to humans as part of an incentive program to establish off-world colonies following a global nuclear war that eradicated most life on Earth. Finding themselves opposed to confinement and desirous of freedom, six androids violently rebelled against their human leadership on Mars and escaped to Earth, hoping to remain undetected.

Deckard’s mission inevitably questions the line between human and android and what it means to exist. It would go on to be renamed Blade Runner. Yes, the movie.

Neuromancer by William Gibson

In 1984, William Gibson released his debut novel Neuromancer, which would come to be heralded as the novel that defined (or redefined) Cyberpunk. Neuromancer is actually heavily inspired by Japanese cyberpunk, which came to life with the 1982 manga series, Akira.

The story follows Henry Dorsett Case, a now defunct super hacker, currently living in the dystopian city of Chiba, Japan. At the height of his power, Case was caught stealing from his employer, and was subsequently administered a mycotoxin that damaged his central nervous system and prevented him from accessing the “matrix”, a form of virtual reality.

Having lived on the hit list of a drug lord named Wage, Case is recruited by Molly Millions, a mercenary who also happens to be an augmented “street samurai”. The two find themselves in the employ of Armitage, a mysterious ex-military benefactor, who offers to heal Case’s nervous system in exchange for his services as a hacker.

Case is healed, only to discover that sacs of mycotoxin were implanted in his bloodstream during the process as an “insurance” policy against his rebellious tendencies. Case and Molly find themselves catching glimpses of a struggle for corporate power as their story explores the darkest aspects of human nature.

Software by Rudy Rucker

Software explores one of the more interesting implications of neurotechnology and cybernetics, namely immortality and consequently, the ability or inability of robots to truly relate to humans.

The story is told through the eyes of Cobb Anderson, a retired computer scientist who was once tried for treason for attempting to give a self-replicating type of robots known as “Boppers” freewill. Cobb succeeded to some extent and his robots proceeded to colonize the moon, only to return years later with a twisted offer of immortality for Cobb.

The story takes a number of twisted turns and features serial killers, twisted mega corporations and an oh-so-essential dystopian nightmare America.

Ghost in The Shell by Masamune Shirow

You may already be somewhat familiar with Ghost in the Shell since it served as an inspiration for the movie series The Matrix. (Yes, believe it or not, The Matrix series was Cyberpunk.)

In this manga series, technology has been developed that allows for cyber augmentation of the brain which allows direct connection to global networks. This effectively allows for the transfer of consciousness from the biological to the digital and is emphasized by the main character, Major Motoko Kusanagi.

As a child, Kusanagi’s body was destroyed and her consciousness was transferred into an artificial one. The story follows her as she tracks a group of ghost hackers taking control of cyborg minds, turning them into puppets.

Mirrorshades: The Cyberpunk Anthology by Bruce Sterling

Your best shot at a true overall picture of Cyberpunk is Mirrorshades. It features a collection of Cyberpunk stories that emerged during the ‘80s and as such, covers a broad array of themes and emotional explorations of Cyberpunk.

Cyberpunk emerged somewhat chaotically, but Bruce Sterling paints a captivating picture in his introduction which serves to provide a context that helps streamline the exploration of this collection.

Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson

There is probably not a trippier representation of Cyberpunk on this list than Snow Crash. Written by Neal Stephenson in 1992, the book features thrilling action, a deep and convoluted lore, and a roller coaster of intellectual sleuthing that leads to a satisfying and deliciously dystopian finish.

Snow Crash jumps into action with the introduction of our main protagonist: Hiro Protagonist. Not a typo. It’s actually his name. (The comedy here is obvious, but don’t let that set low expectations for this novel.)

Hiro Protagonist is an almost obnoxiously perfect cyberpunk hero. He’s a technical mastermind able to hack pretty much anything, a sword wielding genius adept at combat and he delivers pizzas for the mob. Hiro’s interesting relationship with the female lead character Y.T., who saves his life early in the story, and anti-hero personality flaws add a depth to his character and it drags you deeper into the story.

To make a long (and amazing) story short, Hiro and Y.T. team up, track down a mystery drug that is mind wiping people and, in the end, vanquish the bad guy. Oh, and that drug is actually a linguistic virus, personified as the goddess Asherah, who has had her efforts to mind-wipe the human race thwarted by another god called Enki. Enki created a program called Nam-shub, which caused human dialects to break away from the original Sumerian, which remains the BIOS of the brainstem.

This book is full of awesome depth and intricacy like that. Read it.

Trouble and Her Friends by Melissa Scott

Trouble and Her Friends is set at the end of the 21st century and features a world based around a virtual landscape, powered by computer networks that hold incredible amounts of data. Computer hackers enter into this virtual space and navigate it via “nodes”. This virtual space and the computer networks that power it are all owned by corporations who defend their property via Intrusion Countermeasures (Electronic) or IC (E).

Our main protagonist, a former hacker and current system admin for an artist colony, who once used the moniker “Trouble”, finds herself diving back into the world of the “wild days” when someone starts using her old code and nickname to create havoc.

Transmetropolitan by Warren Ellis & Darick Robertson

Transmetropolitan is a comic book series, printed from 1997 to 2002, which follows the work of Spider Jerusalem, a journalist who has dedicated his life to working against the corruption of two successive U.S. presidents.

At first, the comic book series is a collection of one-offs beginning with the documentation of police brutality against a group known as the Transient Movement. This group uses the genetic material of an alien species for body modification, thus becoming an entirely new species altogether. The leader of this group is paid to incite a riot, which the police then use as an excuse to clear out the slum in violent fashion which houses the Transient Movement.

Following the publishing of the story, Spider is brutally beaten by police but insists that he is going nowhere.

The remainder of the story follows the antagonistic back and forth between President elect Gary Callahan, known as “The Smiler” and Jerusalem. Callahan bears a grudge against Jerusalem for what he sees as interference during his campaign and pulls no punches in taking revenge.

Hyperion by Dan Simmons

Hyperion actually follows the story of seven individuals who have all been sent on a “Final Shrike Pilgrimage” on a world known as Hyperion. In this universe, exists the “Hegemony of Man”, a network of thousands of planets connected by “farcaster portals”. Hyperion is a planet that exists beyond the purview of the Hegemony and cannot be accessed without experiencing significant time dilation.

On Hyperion, there are a series of structures known as Time Tombs, which move backwards in time and are guarded by a creature known as the Shrike. The story progresses through the individual viewpoint of each character, toward its ultimate end in the following novel.

Beyond dystopian, this series explores a cultural and religious clash among AI, the implications of time travel, an age-reversing disease, and even the possibilities of genuine love between human consciousness and Artificial Intelligence.

Metrophage by Richard Kadrey

Metrophage as a novel, is a little challenging to summarize into one paragraph. Truthfully, the plot twists so often and so wildly that you can make a solid argument for the book having little plot at all. For starters, our story (sort of) follows anti-hero Johnny as he ventures through a post-apocalyptic Los Angeles racing a bioengineered plague that is about to wipe out mankind.

While we watch this adventure, in whatever way we can, we come to discover the horror that has become of the world. An alien invasion is threatening the world economy, cannibals abound and teenagers with switchblades and neural disruptors are the “police force”.

What Metrophage lacks in steady plot development, it makes up for with fun, explosions, action-packed sequences, and an in-depth exploration of an extremely twisted version of Earth.

ARTIST SPOTLIGHT: Davansh Atry

ARTIST SPOTLIGHT
DAVANSH ATRY

We're so happy to feature you and your incredible art on our blog DARKNET! Tell us a little bit about your background, share your story with us!

My name is Davansh Atry, 3D artist from India. I was an Electronics major at college and graduated in 2016. I was never much interested in a job in that field, majorly because I sucked at it. Haha. Art wasn't my thing from the very beginning. I stumbled upon it by mistake and it just stuck with me. And, i'm glad it did.

How long have you been creating art? And what was the deciding factor for you to pursue it professionally?

I have been creating art for almost three years now, started out sometime in 2017. Like i said, it wasn't my thing from the beginning, initially it was like a hobby that acted as an escape from what I was doing at that point in my life. And as time passed, people started approaching me with opportunities and it was then, when I decided to roll the dice and see where it goes.

Tell us about your process - how do you manage to make your ideas come to life and how close are they to your initial inspirations?

It usually starts with an emotion/thought and then I decide a scene set up for it, a concept, if I may. I then work on it until I'm able to somewhat bring out that emotion through it or basically until I'm satisfied with it.

The real treat is when the audience is able to feel the emotion/thought I felt while creating the artwork.

Do you listen to music while working? If so, what do you usually listen to? How do you see it affecting your final product?

Yes, I do listen to music while working. Here's my Spotify playlist that I usually have on loop while working.

Music is definitely one of the major sources of inspiration for me.

Where do you see yourself at the pinnacle of your career? What would be your ultimate dream come true involving your artwork?

I'd say working with some of my favorite artists would be both a dream come true and where I'd be at the pinnacle.

What would you tell passionate up and coming artists who want to pursue their art?

The only thing I'd say is "never give up". Consistency is the key, as they say, "Rome wasn't built in a day", so the more time you spend on it the better. Plus, share your work with the community as much as you can.

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Vapor95 Live 3.0 Replay

VAPOR95 ON HYPEBEAST

Astral Projection: Easier Than You Think

Astral Projection: A Quick Vapor95 How To

Easier Thank You Think

The desire to explore the “limits” of our consciousness is a natural one and Astral Projection is one of many ways to do so. We currently live in a time that is physically, spiritually, and scientifically revolutionary. Much of what ancient mystics once commonly practiced, which modern scientists at one point dismissed as bunk, immaterialist pseudoscience, is being proven as fact by discoveries in unified physics.

If you haven’t forayed into meditation or another method of exploring consciousness so far, you’re probably extremely skeptical right about now. Even if you have been meditating regularly, the idea of a consciousness that possibly expands beyond the limits of your five senses and body might seem a little unrealistic.

So, how about you don’t take my word for it? Let’s explore a few statements made by minds far greater than my own.

Nassim Haramein can be argued to be the current world leader of unified physics and has been working at the bleeding edge of this field for 30 years now. Recently Dr. Haramein has described a “zero point field”, through which the universe has constructed a forward feeding loop of information, which allows the universe to self-observe.

He quite literally describes this as the universe observing itself, observing itself and in doing so it is becoming more organized and wiser. This closely mirrors one philosophical definition of consciousness which is the ability to know you exist. Effectively, one can argue that universal consciousness is one, the “separation” we experience is merely the result of individualized points in this universal consciousness feeding information into this loop.

You can hear him describe this in far better detail here in this interview with Vishen Lakhiani, founder of Mindvalley University.

From this standpoint, does astral projection seem so far-fetched?

Probably, but at least it’s somewhat less so.

Now that we’ve done the necessary work of dispelling some level of the skepticism that comes with a healthy mind, let’s jump into how you can actually explore Astral Projection on your own.

Step 1. Setting Your Intentions/Imagining the Ideal outcome

It may seem like a silly place to start. After all, if you’ve continued reading to this point the chances are that you do in fact want to experience Astral Projection. Still, it’s a healthy practice to imagine yourself having achieved this goal and what you’ll feel like having done so.

Do you have a friend you’re exploring this with? Maybe someone in your family claims they have had an out of body experience and would be excited to hear about yours. Take a few seconds to get into a calm state. Neville Goddard (one of the world’s foremost spiritual teachers of the 20th century) would describe this state as one akin to sleep.

Sit in a comfortable chair or lie down and allow your body to relax. If it helps, count backwards from 100 as you do so, taking slow deep breaths and growing increasingly relaxed as you do so. Once you feel totally relaxed, imagine your ideal outcome. See in first person that conversation where you describe your experience to a friend. Maybe you simply see yourself “waking up” or returning from your Astral Projection and to no one in particular, you exclaim about how amazing it was.

Whatever you choose, ensure it feels natural to you and once it does, step one is complete.

Step 2. Becoming Aware of Spiritual Sensation

Regardless of which source material you choose to start exploring Astral Projection, you’re highly likely to come across the concept of the astral, dream, energy, light or subtle body. Various spiritual schools describe the astral body in similar but slightly differing ways. Even Christianity alludes to Astral Projection in Corinthians 12:1-4

“I know a man who was caught up to the third heaven. Whether it was in or out of body, I do not know.”

The concept is not as far off as you might be thinking. To illustrate, we can take some inspiration from Neville Goddard once more.

Tennis ball.

No, that’s not a typo.

Chances are, that right now you’re imagining a tennis ball in some way. Maybe it’s just by sight, which is a fine first step. Now imagine holding the ball, feel how soft and fuzzy the surface of it is. Maybe its an old ball so it’s a bit frayed or flat.

Now, change that ball into a rose or a slice of bread. Feel the difference?

What about a $20 bill? Feel the difference?

If you can discriminate between all these objects, then they must exist somewhere. What you’re currently doing is exercising your ability to detect spiritual sensation. There is an infinite reality that exists within us or that we are inextricably connected to...whichever floats your boat. However you’d like to describe the nature of that reality, the “body” we use to explore that reality through sensation is our astral body.

And now you’re starting to become familiar with yours. In order to have your first intentional Astral Projection or out of body experience, it’s a good idea to become familiar with this process. Be sure to practice a few seconds at a time each day, be sure you imagine good or pleasant things when doing so.

Step 3. Deepen Your Meditative State

Remember the state akin to sleep we discussed earlier? To achieve Astral Projection, we’ll be returning to that state and going as deep as possible without falling completely asleep. To do this, you can employ the use of white noise, trusted hypnotic guides or recordings, or repeat the deep breathing we described earlier from 100 to 0.

From here, your objective is to disassociate your astral body from your physical one. Don’t worry, this is a process that happens naturally or when you unintentionally have out of body experiences anyway. It’s what we’re built for so you have no reason to be worried.

The “Lifting Out” Method by Bob Monroe

As you begin to drift deeper into relaxation, you’ll naturally begin to become aware of a floating sensation, which will be accompanied by a pleasant vibration. Start focusing on the vibration and feel it reverberating through your limbs, you’ll likely feel a pleasant warmth along with it.

As you home in on this vibration, use it to “jiggle” your astral body and cause a separation between it and your physical body. As this separation widens, focus on “lifting” your astral limbs from your physical limbs one at a time, eventually, you’ll achieve a full separation and be on your journey to wherever you want.

The “Rolling” Method

Similar to the "Lifting Out" Method, as you drift into deeper consciousness, you’ll notice a vibration that you’ll want to fill yourself deeply with. As you do, slowly begin to “twist” your astral body without physically moving.

As you make your first full circle, you’ll feel a little strange, especially as your eyes may feel the need to follow your turning. If you’re struggling with this issue, simply return to deep breathing and try again once you feel completely relaxed.

Eventually, you’ll achieve a similar separation to the "Lifting Out" Method and be on your way!

The “Rope” Method

Once you’ve again achieved a state akin to sleep and are pulsing with vibrational energy, imagine a rope hanging directly above you. Lift one arm of your astral body away from your physical body and grab on to the rope.

Once you feel like you have a secure grip, lift the other arm and slowly pull yourself arm over arm until you are entirely detached from your physical body.

What Next?

Well, this part is entirely up to you.

You’ve now learned how to detach from your physical body intentionally. You are now free to explore as you see fit, try moving through different rooms of your house for starters, eventually you can be in entirely different countries or continents.

There is no limit.

EMPLOYEE SPOTLIGHT: helios

EMPLOYEE SPOTLIGHT

h e l i o s a.k.a. Alex

Meet the person behind the h e l i o s voice.

We’re super excited to feature you in the Employee Spotlight this month!

Yes, feels good to be on this end of things. I must admit I felt a little hesitant to do this out of shyness and partly not wanting to disappoint those who feel drawn to the mystery of the h e l i o s voice with a big reveal.

First, tell us a bit about yourself and what you do at Vapor95.com. What does your day to day look like?

I like to consider my role at Vapor95 as “storyteller of the retro, nostalgic, vaporwave, and aesthetic movements”. My primary specialty is the written word. Most of what I do is some form of communication to our customers and fanatics: emails, blog posts, marketing copy, product descriptions, stuff like that. I package the voice of the brand neatly into a box for safe consumption. At least, I try.

Every day is different and the same. We all work spread out over different parts of the world so our schedules are pretty random. I like to consider my day’s schedule to be that of an artist’s. That’s code for “I’m undisciplined and don’t stick to a structure.” Some days, I do nothing. Other days, I put in eight to ten hours of focused creativity, writing, execution, planning, and all that.

There’s work time, sure. But, there’s also life. That’s where a lot of the ideas come from at Vapor95. At least in my area. I’m pretty sure the rest of the team works like this as well. The idea of h e l i o s was probably birthed on a bike ride or something. I can’t remember now.

How did you find yourself working for the company?

I touched on this in one of the ask h e l i o s episodes before. I’d been a fan of the aesthetic and I was interested in creating something of my own. I wanted to create a limited edition vaporwave print store where we would launch weekly limited releases by upcoming artists. I started building a vaporwave Instagram as a way to validate whether or not people liked the aesthetic. Then, I found Vapor95 and thought I was way too late to the game. I walked away from that idea. A few failed businesses later (peanut butter, an app) and I found myself getting very deep in the marketing world. I started consulting with businesses to help their marketing. I reached out to River, the Vapor95 CEO, and after a few relentless emails back and forth trying to get him to hop on a call with me, we spoke. I wrote a few emails in the voice of h e l i o s. I blinked my eyes a few times and suddenly, it’s been two years and we’ve had a pretty crazy ride.

What did you do before Vapor95?

What haven’t I done? I think I’ve had more than 25 jobs at this point.

Immediately before and during the time I started working with Vapor95, I was working for a massive tech company in Taipei, Taiwan. I moved there to be an English teacher and certain things just fell into my lap.

I’ve certainly pinballed my way toward being with a brand I really want to work with and being close enough to the foundational team where my ideas could be heard and implemented. It took a while though. There were a lot of jobs I hated.

I found the little sweet spot in the Venn diagram of:

My interest in the visual aesthetic of Vapor95
Having a skill set where I’d be of service to Vapor95

What is your favorite part about working for Vapor95? What are you working on now?

I enjoy the F.I.L.D.I. attitude immensely.

(For the parents out there reading this blog to see if Vapor95 is right for their teenager, F.I.L.D.I. stands for “Freak it! Let’s do it!)

We’re all risk takers on the team. We’re (mostly) unapologetically us and while this might sound too cavalier for some, it’s the perfect kind of team for me. We’re all not afraid to be who we really are, say what we feel, and share the vision for what we want to see at Vapor95.

When you’re on a team where there’s no fear of criticism or judgement, it creates something awesome. I know this because I have experienced the exact opposite living abroad for several years. Without throwing certain work cultures under the bus too much, I’ll just say the Vapor95 work culture is amazing.

If we have an idea, we just go for it and do it.

My genuine favorite moment was when I first traveled to the offices in Los Angeles to meet everyone and work out of the offices for a week or so. I’d been remote for months.

I met everyone on the day of 100% ElectroniCON in October of 2019. That first day meeting everyone, working the event together, being at a vaporwave festival, and meeting our fans was one of my favorite days ever. How’s that for a workday?

As far as what I’m working on now, we've changed a lot. Personally, I also have to adapt to an evolving brand. Even the voice of h e l i o s (and my own role) has to change to survive...like so many people in business and life right now.

You are essentially the ‘voice’ of h e l i o s, what about h e l i o s resonates with you? What has been your favorite h e l i o s moment?

There have been times in my life where I felt like a cold statue. There were times when I would read books like American Psycho and Glamorama (my personal favorite) and I would idolize these characters whose only values were superficiality, status, materialism, and being cool.

I resonated with these characters with cold, hard shells...for a brief couple of years. I pretty much copied these characters into my own stories. I wrote in the voice of various characters for a long time who were out of touch with reality, completely self-absorbed, petty, superficial, and so on.

To me, there are parts of h e l i o s (in my embodiment) who could come right out of a Bret Easton Ellis book. The coldness, the marble exterior, the emotional bleakness.

Just as I eventually grew out of that place of narcissism, I think h e l i o s has another side of him. He’s gentle. He’s caring. He’s more tender and emotional than he is narcissistic. At the end of the day, he’s a statue trying to figure out who he is. His sadness is endearing.

Meeting people IRL and being introduced as h e l i o s was pretty surreal. I met a guy at 100% ElectroniCON who said he read all my emails and I brushed him off because I thought he was just trying to navigate an awkward social situation but he was serious. That meant so much to me. Because at the end of the day, I know what I do is only partly creative art and partly commerce. The ratio of those parts depends on who you ask.

Some of our subscribers might hate the h e l i o s voice. Others may read a description of a design h e l i o s wrote and be blown away by how profound five lines of what is essentially “marketing copy” could be. My favorite part of all this are the fans who get it and don’t take it all so seriously.

Do you see h e l i o s as a fictional character/personality entirely, or rather an extension of yourself and your own experiences?

I still don’t know if I truly capture the voice of h e l i o s all the time. Then I’m like “dude, you are h e l i o s.”

Of course, h e l i o s is under employ and needs to stick to certain guidelines. He can’t just shave all his hair off and have a Britney Spears meltdown. If I had complete creative control, I’d make h e l i o s entirely me and vice versa. Muahaha! But, I’m certain 80% of our readers including the Vapor95 staff would be like, “what the hell am I reading?” It’d get pretty crazy pretty quickly if I had no reigns.

I do see him as an extension of myself but I also know a lot of our customers identify with him. h e l i o s probably feels like an extension of anyone who reads his writing. If I say the words “nostalgic bliss, numbed emptiness, or hollow boredom”, most of our readers are going to say “yes, I know those feelings intimately.”

That’s not me trying to trigger reactions. That’s honest. That’s authentic.

I know what it’s like to engage in what used to be something you used to be crazy about and feel absolutely nothing, numb. I know what it’s like to be in absolute bliss and joy, with a grin ear to ear. I also know what heavy, inescapable emotional pain feels like.

I’m not being artsy and pretentious when I say “h e l i o s is having the most common human condition and that’s why people vibe with him and our brand.”

h e l i o s is just a statue who pretends he’s not so human. Which is, ironically, how I would describe most people in today’s world.

h e l i o s shares a lot of great advice for navigating the ups and downs of life, and recently received some advice from readers in Ask h e l i o s Episode 5. What would you say is the best advice you’ve ever received, and what do you hope readers take to heart from the advice you’ve given?

I’m pretty terrible at picking superlatives. In fact, I’m pretty sure subscribers have asked me to pick favorite things as h e l i o s and a couple thousand words ensued while I picked a dozen favorites.

I will tell you the advice I’ve ignored the longest to my own peril:

Be yourself!

That little nugget gets ignored more than it gets implemented. Being unapologetically, one hundred percent positively, absolutely YOU is the most important thing you could ever do. A lot of people are good at hiding from their real selves but eventually it catches up to them.

I’m still learning how to be more and more me every day.

If I could push one thing on my readers and get all soap-boxey, I’d just want you to know you are not alone. Connection is everything. I was having this epiphany last year...that a lot of my unhappiness was coming from just not connecting with people enough, not being face to face with a real live human being. Then, lock downs happened and I’ve had a lot of time to really think about what it feels like to be disconnected.

It’s not a good feeling. But, you are not alone.

What advice would h e l i o s give for surviving the state of the world right now? How have you been managing it personally?

I have good days. I have bad days. I’m also in an extremely strange place to be enduring the event. Currently, I’m delivering these answers in a little apartment on the 17th floor of an empty building in Bangkok, Thailand. The adventurer in me is happy I got to see the pandemic from a pseudo-developing country.

But, I do find myself becoming a quarantine meme from time to time.

I feel like I’ve been talking so much about everything going on and now here’s my chance to really say something and I’m like the kid about to blow his spelling bee.

h e l i o s would probably have a one line riddle for us humans to ponder during these tragedies. I think he might not understand the plight of humanity at all right now. He might be a little too cool about it, a little too detached. Or, he might be incredibly nostalgic like we all probably are.

Recently, I find myself slipping into nostalgic daydreams about things that happened three months ago.

“Ah, I remember back in the day we used to be able to go bars and clubs and be shoulder to shoulder with strangers in enclosed spaces. Preposterous, I know!”

So, I’ve gotta give myself the advice h e l i o s would give at times.

Things will get better. I encourage you not to lose hope. Don’t get swept up in the politics and the blame game. Focus on the humanity of it. What could really connect all of us, regardless of color, sex, clothing style, etc.?

We’re all vulnerable as humans. I had this epiphany on the beach in Thailand as things were starting to rapidly escalate toward a pandemic. A bunch of tourists on the beach from all over the world, speaking different languages, and yet one thing connected us all: vulnerability to an invisible killer.

In your vulnerable state, try to remember what a good life means. Use this time to think of, plan, and start on all the awesome things you’re going to do in life when limitations are eased.

You work remotely at Vapor95, as do others on the team, if you had to plan an employee get together, what would we do? Where would we go?

It’d be so cheesy. My coworkers would probably hate me afterwards.

We’d do all those team-building things in the woods that everyone makes fun of. I’d want people to catch me when I fall. I’d want to express my feelings speaking through a hand puppet. I’d want to sit around a campfire and tell ghost stories.

It’d have to be very much like an ‘80s movie. Maybe h e l i o s falls in love with someone from another company’s employee get-together in the next cabin and there’s a big team tug-of-war and we’re wearing Vapor95 Joggers and Tank Tops and we all set aside our differences to demolish the competition.

If you had to choose, what is your favorite design at Vapor95, why?

Anything tinged with Japanese vibes catches my eye. I grew up idolizing that kind of aesthetic. I believe Mizucat is one of my favorite Vapor95 Creators. The way she captures the look and aura of a beautiful, retro woman is uncannily connected to a time and place I grew up in.

These two answers will come as a surprise but the Unmasked All Over Print Sweatshirt and the No Control All Over Print Sweatshirt are my absolutely favorites. I’m pretty simple in my wardrobe so while I might love certain designs as prints or posters, I tend to wear dark and bland clothes. Heresy, I know!

My goal is to help Vapor95 create entire houses in the aesthetic, from rugs and wallpapers to pools and desks. Then, I can still wear all black and still live an aesthetic life.

What about the '90s / growing up makes you most nostalgic today?

Simplicity. I was looking at designs of Sleepover today and felt such a longing for simplicity. A simple Sleepover would be so fun nowadays.

I wanted to cry looking at that design and remembering my childhood innocence.

But, the ‘80s and ‘90s influence my entire life today. The music. The role models. The personality. The way of living. It’s weird but something happened to me by sitting down and watching movies as a kid for an entire decade. Who would have thought?

What are your interests outside of work?

Honestly, I’m in the process of figuring that out. Most of my life is spent creating, projects, maintaining decent health, etc. It’s quite boring and it’s made me quite boring. This is my post-lockdown resolution: go play, bro!

Lastly, you’ve gotten to know a lot of the Vapor95 audience through Ask h e l i o s, what would you like to say to any of them reading this? What advice would you give to them about working in digital marketing /creatively for a start-up?

First off, gratitude. Thank you for being here. Thank you for reading my words. Thank you for enjoying what we create at Vapor95.

There are certain milestones everyone comes to in life that personally mean a lot to them. Graduating high school, first job, first customer, a child, whatever. One that stands out to me was receiving feedback from strangers about what we do at Vapor95, especially my writing. That was a huge moment in my life.

My advice to you would be to find that thing that would be a milestone. For me, it was external verification that something I created was of value and enjoyment for others. Find what you’d want that to be and go do it in someone else’s arena. Maybe it's design. Maybe it’s writing. Maybe it’s the numbers side of things. Maybe it’s people.

Someone else’s company is the perfect “sandbox” to play in while you grow your own skills. I’ve learned so much from not taking the cookie cutter route and stability my peers chose. I’m sure you will too.

Best of luck out there!

To read more of Alex's writing, head to the DARKNET blog where you can find the ask h e l i o s series, and a couple of random blog articles here and here.

ODE TO DEAD MALLS

Innsbruck Mall

ARTIST SPOTLIGHT:RIGELWAVE

Hi Rigelwave! We absolutely love your style and are so excited to feature you on our Darknet blog. Tell us a little about yourself and how long you’ve been creating art.

How would you describe the style of your work and where do you draw your inspiration from?

When did you discover your passion for the Kawaii aesthetic reflected in your work?

Tell us more about your artistic process. How did you go from rough idea to finished piece? What kind of materials do you use?

Does music inspire your artwork or creative process? Are there any specific artists you like to listen to while you create your art?

Can you tell us a little about any pieces or projects that you’re working on at the moment?

If you weren’t an artist, what would be your ultimate dream job?

What advice would you give to aspiring artists looking to pursue art at a professional level? What’s something you wish you could tell your younger self?

✨ RIGELWAVE ✨INSTAGRAMWEBSITEKO-FISHOP COLLECTION✨ FOLLOW DARKNET ✨SOUNDCLOUDINSTAGRAMFACEBOOKBANDCAMP

A Trip Back in Time: How to Build a '90s Retro Gaming Rig

1. So Why not just Emulate?

2. Let the Game Choose the CPU

3. The Graphics Processing Unit

4. Choosing a Mother Board

5. Choosing the Rest of Your Parts

Power Supply Unit

RAM

Hard Drive

Optical Drive and Sound Card

6. Finding Your Parts

ARTIST SPOTLIGHT: BEACHGHOST

We’re huge fans of your work and are so excited to feature you on our DARKNET blog. Tell us a little about yourself and how long you’ve been creating art.

How would you describe the style of your work and where do you draw your inspiration from?

Tell us more about your artistic process. How do you go from rough idea to finished piece? What kind of materials do you use?

We love the nostalgic pop-culture references your art touches on! Are there any particular movies/series/video games closest to your heart?

Can you tell us a little about any pieces or projects that you’re working on at the moment?

If you weren’t an artist, what would be your ultimate dream job?

What advice would you give to aspiring artists looking to pursue art at a professional level? What’s something you wish you could tell your younger self?

✨ BEACHGHOST ✨

✨FOLLOW DARKNET ✨

BEGOTTEN: A DISTURBING ONLINE MUSIC MYSTERY PART III

BEGOTTEN:A Disturbing Online Music Mystery

EMPLOYEE SPOTLIGHT: PLAMEN STAMATOV

WHAT'S YOUR ROLE AT VAPOR95?

WHAT DO YOUR DAY-TO-DAY OPERATIONS LOOK LIKE AND WHAT'S YOUR SCHEDULE USUALLY THROUGH THE DAY?

WHAT DID YOU DO BEFORE VAPOR95?

HOW DID YOU END UP WORKING WITH VAPOR95?

COULD YOU TELL US MORE ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE CREATING/WORKING ON RIGHT NOW?

WHAT HAS BEEN YOUR FAVORITE PART ABOUT WORKING AT VAPOR95?

WHO OR WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO GET INTO DESIGN?

WHERE DO YOU SEE YOURSELF & VAPOR95 IN FIVE YEARS?

CAN YOU TELL US THREE THINGS YOU WOULD CONSIDER "INSPIRING ART"? IT CAN BE ANY MEDIUM (PHOTOGRAPHY, 3D DESIGN, FILM, MUSIC, WRITING, ETC.).

WHAT ADVICE DO YOU HAVE FOR SOMEONE WHO WANTS TO WORK IN A CREATIVE FIELD LIKE DESIGN AND ART?

IF YOU HAD TO CHOOSE, WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE DESIGN AT VAPOR95, WHY?

YOU WORK REMOTELY AT VAPOR95, AS DO OTHERS ON THE TEAM, IF YOU HAD TO PLAN AN EMPLOYEE GET TOGETHER, WHAT WOULD WE DO? WHERE WOULD WE GO?

IF YOU HAD TO LISTEN TO ONE SONG FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO IN YOUR FREE TIME?

WHO IS THE PERSON YOU ADMIRE THE MOST?

IF YOU HAD ONE LAST WISH, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

Here are some of Plamen's favorite artworks he's created:

The Birth, Death and Resurrection of Tamagotchi

What Was Tamagotchi?

How it originated

How it became popular

Why Was Tamagotchi Such a Hit?

Tamagotchi Provided the Illusion of Life

Finite Lifespans Heightened Emotional Attachments

If Tamagotchi was So Popular, why did it die out?

If you’re Feeling Nostalgic, There’s good News

ARTIST SPOTLIGHT: SEERLIGHT

We're so happy to feature you on our darknet blog since you've been collaborating with us on designs! Tell us a little bit about yourself and how long you've been doing art.

Tell us a little bit about the designs you've created in collaboration with Vapor95. What inspired these works? If you had to pick a favorite, which one would it be and why?

Your style is incredible, inspired, but as original as they come. Please tell us about your artistic journey.

Could you tell us more about what you're creating/working on right now?

Do you listen to music while working on your art? If so, please share your favorite artists or albums with us!

You are a world creator. Your designs look like they could be from animated feature films. Where do you get your inspiration from to build these worlds?

Every artist faces days where they lack inspiration and drive to create. How do you deal with these moments?

If you werenʼt an artist, what would you do for a living?

What is your ultimate dream to accomplish with your art? How do you see yourself at the highest point of your career?

If you could blast a text message to every phone on the planet to deliver one 160 character message, what would it say?

Finally, what would you say to up-and-coming artists who want to pursue their passion?

✨ SEERLIGHT ✨

✨FOLLOW DARKNET ✨

Seven Ways To Bring Some Aesthetics To Your Apartment

#1: Philips Hue Lighting

#2: Heisei Accent Poster

#3: Gasmask Geisha Poster

ARTIST SPOTLIGHT:
RIGELWAVE

✨ RIGELWAVE ✨
INSTAGRAM
WEBSITE
KO-FI
SHOP COLLECTION

✨ FOLLOW DARKNET ✨
SOUNDCLOUD
INSTAGRAM
FACEBOOK
BANDCAMP

A Trip Back in Time:
How to Build a '90s Retro Gaming Rig

ARTIST SPOTLIGHT:
BEACHGHOST

BEGOTTEN:
A Disturbing Online Music Mystery

EMPLOYEE SPOTLIGHT:
PLAMEN STAMATOV

ARTIST SPOTLIGHT
POST WOOK

Cyberpunk:
Your Summer Reading List

ARTIST SPOTLIGHT
DAVANSH ATRY